Page 135 of Shroom for Improvement

But Jasper didn’t so much as swerve. Instead he laughed, long and loud, filling the cab with his sulfuric breath. “Finally figured it out, have you?”

“You know what the ritual is?” I said.

“I know it’s not what His Lordship thinks it is.”

“But we need to go back. We need to figure this out.”

He laughed again, and I winced at his fumes. “There’s no way in hell I’m going back now.”

“But... but you love her,” I said. It was the only thing I could think of that might have any effect on him.

Jasper slammed the brakes on, and the truck screamed to a stop. I was propelled into the rear of his seat.

“That’s a lie. Take it back,” he spat.

“I can’t, and you know it,” I said, but my voice was quiet, unsure. “So, you would seriously let the woman you love die?”

Jasper went quiet and my first thought was, if he doesn’t kill me now, my heart will probably palpitate itself into an attack.

“Get out of the car,” he said, the words no louder than a hiss. Yup, he was going to kill me. In the middle of the forest in Fuck Knows Where, Kingdom of the Fae.

Maybe if I invented a decent distraction, I could make a run for it. Flag down another vehicle heading in the opposite direction, if another vehicle were ever to pass us.

I still had thirteen hours to get back to Claude. And we were four hours south of Agaricus. I had plenty of time. Provided I figured out what the ritual was in that time.

Priorities. First, I needed to escape Jasper.

“OUT OF THE CAR!” he screamed. Instead of waiting for me to hop down, he flung the door wide open, grabbed my wrist, and tossed me onto his shoulder again so my head was hanging down his back between his wings. Right above his butt cheeks.

“What the fuck are you doing?” I was beyond being friendly and calm to this guy. He was a psychopath, and I was essentially talking to his ass. “If you’re gonna kill me, just kill me already. I need to pee, and I’m hungry, and I’ve literally had enough of your insanity.”

Jasper started walking. I tried to lift my head to see where we were going, but his grip was so Herculean, I was physically unable. “I’m not going to kill you. How many chances have I had to kill you over the past two months? Not once did I try. Even when you stepped out of the boundary line to prance around naked with His Lordship.”

“You were spying on us?”

“Don’t be disgusting. I’m not a pervert.”

“Are you entirely sure about that? Because I’ve seen a lot of contradicting evidence.”

Jasper shifted my weight on his shoulder, and my left arm popped free. At the same time, I managed to swing my head far enough to the side to peek around Jasper’s enormous back and wings. I caught a glimpse of where we were going. A petrol station.

Perfect.

“Exactly what evidence is this?”

Shit, what were we talking about? Right, Jasper being a total perv.

“Like when you wanted me to jerk off so I could study the benefits of jizz on... plants...” But I trailed off because I had just figured it out. “Oh, my gods.”

Overhead, a bell tinkled, and Jasper stepped inside the garage. I felt him nod a greeting, probably to the cashier. “What snacks do you want?”

Magia in sporis est.

The magic is in the spores.

In the spores.

“Why don’t you conduct this further research right now?”

---