Page 124 of By the Pint

I looked the same as I always did. Black hair, grey skin (not as pale as Dima’s though), and red eyes. Perk of being undead. I would not be afflicted by any wrinkles or pimples or scars.

I meant you look scrummy in your fancy suit. You wore that one the first night we met. It wound up in a heap on the carpet at Dread—

“Sign here, Dima!” Nina said, raising her voice. Dima scribbled his name on the scroll. “Casey, you are now received into the Black family clan. Will you adopt the Black surname?”

“And give up Freckleman? No chance.”

Some of the vampires laughed. Jason said, “Fair.”

“At this point, you may choose a new moniker for yourself. For example, I’m Nina the Wrecker, or we have Vlad the Wrangler, or Jason the Sullied. You would be known as Casey the …” Nina held out a hand and waited.

I pondered this for a moment. I knew it was coming, and I still hadn’t quite decided if I wanted one or not. Dima had joked that I should call myself Casey the Mercurial, or Casey the Moonflower, or Casey the Mini Golf Sore Loser.

“Casey the Hydrated,” I said after a few moments. It was another one we joked about, but I was starting to feel that maybe un-life wasn’t as serious as everyone made it out to be. Did I really want to spend the next ten thousand years with a scowl?

Somebody snickered.

“Oh, I’m sorry, Vlad the Butterfingered, something funny about my new name?”

The smile dropped from Vlad’s face in an instant.

LOL,Dima said into my mind.

“It’s important to stay hydrated,” I said. I was smiling so much they were going to think I wasn’t being serious.

“It’s … yes, it’s very important.” Nina bounced her gaze between Dima and me. “Listen, are you sure you wanna go with that?”

“Mmhmm, yep, hundred percent.”

I love it, baby. It suits you.Dima took my hand in his and idly rubbed his thumb across my knuckles.

“Whatever. It’s your eternity,” said Nina, writing my new name down on a piece of paper. “While I have the register of names out, Mr Black, do you want to add a descriptor to your name?”

Dima looked down at his shoes and expelled a snort of laughter. “No, I’m good, thanks.”

Nina gave the slightest shake of her head, her brows furrowed. “Casey the Hydrated” — Dima snorted again — “Do you solemnly swear to live by the vampiric code of conduct and follow the laws of the Assembly?”

“I do.”

“And do you agree to live in harmony with our fellow species, including, but not limited to, humans and werewolves?”

“I do.”

“And do you promise not to be a dick and to be kind to others at all times?”

“What? Let me see that.”

Nina turned the scroll around, and in big looping calligraphic letters it said:

Thou shalt not be a dick, and thou shalt always be kind to others at all times.

“I mean, like not atalltimes,” I said.

“Eh, close enough.” Nina wound the scroll back up.

“Did Vlad the Wholesome write those vows?” Dima asked.

Nina raised a brow, her lips tugged down on either side in obvious awe. “Yes, I believe he did.” She turned to me. “I now pronounce you, Casey the Hydrated” —That’s never not going to be funny,Dima said into my head — “a legitimate, fully fledged vampire.”

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