Page 121 of By the Pint

So I did. I started at the conference and replayed every single thing I could. Every detail of him. What he wore, how he looked, how desperate I was to be near him, to hold him, to suck in the scent of him. To kiss him, feel the press of my tongue in his mouth, feel his tongue on mine. To feel his silky hair between my fingers. To count his breaths as he slept. Count the freckles on his shoulders. To hear him say my name. Shout it when he was cross, cry it like a benediction as he came apart.

We stayed in that position for an eternity, our arms wrapped around each other, our minds pressed together. Casey never interrupted the memories, but I could sense his bodyreacting to them. Tensing when we were at the wingball game. Twitching when we’d spoken about his time working for Killian.

When I replayed the intimate moments, Nina made herself scarce, suddenly remembering a meeting or another appointment she just had to attend, leading me to believe she was a much more powerful telepath than I’d ever thought possible, because I was sharing these memories with only Casey.

It took a few nights to get through everything. I showed him things he’d have never seen, like me watching the wingball game back in Remy with my flatmates, and how they took care of me when I thought I’d lost him.

You have a beautiful family,Casey said.

I do,I agreed because I really did. Goldie and Joey and Taurin and Holly and Mal. They were the best friends a vampire could ask for.

What was my family like?Casey asked.

I didn’t have the heart to tell him the truth, yet, so I said,My family is your family. If you’ll have us.

Yes, please,was all he said back.

I showed him what happened when I arrived at the turning facility. Casey becoming a vampire. The interrogation. Killian being led off into the night by the vampolice. The hacker, the constant worry, and everything leading right up to this very moment.

He pulled away, tears tracked down his cheeks too. I reached up and brushed them off, feeling his cold vampire skin against my fingers.

“You loved me,” he said.

“No,” I corrected. “I love you still.”

“And I love you?”

The phrasing of the words tore my heart open. I tried not to let it register on my features, or in my thoughts. “I don’t know, do you?”

I could sense Nina hovering impatiently nearby, but she remained quiet.

He didn’t answer. His mind was blank. Or …

Closed off?

“Do you remember any of it?” I was desperate now and fighting to keep that desperation at bay.

Casey took approximately twelve years to reply, thinking it through as though trudging through the depths of his memories, searching the far corners of his mind. Eventually, he shook his head and looked at his feet like he was ashamed. “No. I don’t. I’m sorry.”

I wanted to cry. Again. I wanted to fall into a ball at his feet and sob until I dried up and imploded like a cloud of dust.

He placed his hand on my chest, right over where the pendant of the locket and the small silver locker key he’d given me lay. “I don’t remember any of it.” He pushed his fingers into the gaps between my buttons and closed his hand around both the locket and the key. “But … I know it. In my heart.”

I placed my shaking hand on his chest in return. “In here?”

“No.” He gripped the pendants tighter. “In here. This is where you keep your thoughts. This is where my heart lies.”

“Casey,” I whimpered. I was fully sobbing now. Full body wracking tears.

“Gods, you cry so much,” Casey said. He cradled my face in both of his hands and brushed the moisture away with his thumbs.

“I do.”

He took a tiny step closer to me. His eyes bounced between mine and my mouth. “If … if it’s okay with you, I’d really like to …” He trailed off.

“Yes?” I said.

Casey swallowed, clearly nervous. “Can I kiss you now, again, for the first time?”

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