Page 105 of By the Pint

His eyes were closed, his face clamped tightly into an agonised expression.

Gods, I loved that face. The face, not the expression. He looked in so much pain. I wished I could take it away.

It was the drop of blood he licked off your finger,Killian said into my mind. His voice so loud it made me startle.

But … It can’t be. Goldie said—

Casey started getting chest pains that night. He chalked it up to heartbreak. He was falling in love with you, and he thought the pains were guilt. From leading you on when the relationship would always end up like this.Killian held out a hand to demonstrate what lay beyond the glass. Not that I’d taken my eyes off Casey for a second.

No, it can’t be.

Someone turned him without leaving a mark on his neck or wrist, and that someone is you, fam.

It’s not possible. It needs to be a pint, of each,I bit back, but even I felt my certainty on that matter slipping. I’d been the one not to believe Casey in the beginning when it happened. I’d been so sure that a drop of each other’s blood was enough. That I hadn’t been overreacting. Had I known something others didn’t?

Beside me, Killian shrugged.I saw in his mind. There was no one else. You and I are the only vampires he’s seen since … since the conference. Well, except for Nina.He paused.She’s fantastic, isn’t she? Do you reckon she’s into me? I couldn’t get a decent read off her.

I tore my gaze away from Casey to observe my ex-best friend. He smiled up at me, kind of nervously. He seemed so small, and helpless, and some stupid, long-dormant instinct to protect him stirred within me. I shook the thought.

No, she does not like you. She thinks you’re a …I paused trying to conjure up the least offensive term. Wait, why was I trying to manage Killian’s emotions? When would I ever learn to put myself first?She thinks you’re a himbo. She laments the stupidity of all the vampires who’ve been turned too young. Frozen while they were teenagers—

I wasn’t a teenager. I was twenty. Not much younger than you—

And she likes women,I added, because I did not want to go off into a conversation about Killian, and how he thought he knew our ages at turning. Despite being more than just a smidgen interested in that topic.

It was the sewing-finger thing,he said, returning to the subject at hand. His voice took on a less adolescent whiny quality.I saw into his memories. That was the only thing it could have been.

Well, fuck.I let my head fall against the mirror, and my tears began afresh. Aside from the occasional gut-wrenching cry, Casey was no longer moving.

I had no right to grieve him, or us. From the very beginning I knew the score. I knew that spending time with him would be falling for him, loving him. It was like walking into fire and expecting not to get burnt.

Still fucking did it, though. Practically stripped naked and wormed crawled through the flames, didn’t I?

I knew what was coming. Known it all along. But still, nothing prepared me for this.

For the undead shell of the man I loved.

Love

Still love him.

I just … thought I’d have more time.

I thought I’d always have more time.

Just one more day. Hour. Minute with him.

And now, Casey, the Casey I knew and loved …

Was gone.

Killian said nothing. Thought nothing. He simply stood vampirically still and watched us both. His ex-familiar and his ex-best friend.

“I’m sorry,” he said eventually, breaking the ringing silence. “For everything.” Then he began speaking into my mind again.It was never meant to happen like this. I never meant for it to go this far.

What is that supposed to mean?I shot back.

Killian flipped his long, lank hair over his shoulder.Well … you weren’t answering any of my calls, my letters, my emails. I’ve been trying to get back in touch with you for decades.

---