Page 103 of By the Fae

My Goldie was there. And he was holding his arm up above his head.

“I have a question,” he said.

Chapter 35.

Goldie

2 Weeks earlier

It was the fifth triple-shot caramel macchiato that did it. Driving up the main highway from Borderlands to the Kingdom of the Fae, my eyes clouding with tears and snot streaming down my face, had not only been dangerous, but downright hideous. But the third, sixth, ninth—fifteenth shot of caffeine was the one. I went from hyper mess to hyper focus.

It was the right thing to do. I made the right decision.

Holly loved me. And I did what I knew I’d always do. I ran for the hills.

I wanted to say it back. Tell her I loved her too.

Ha! How was that for a turnabout?

I wanted so badly to say it back. To hold her face, whisper those words to her, and stay all day. Cocooned in my covers. Making out. Slow fucking. Declaring our love. Forever.

Except there would be no forever.

Not for us.

There could never be anything more than what we had these past six weeks.

We shouldn’t have even had that. I should have fucked Holly the moment she first walked into the Faegames’ building, let August fire me there and then, and never had to look into her big brown eyes again.

Fate was a cruel fucking bitch, and I wouldn’t let her take anything more.

Two decades in the Kingdom of the Fae. Three if necessary, or more, whatever.

I’d left without saying goodbye. I took the building’s emergency exit. If my fae mouth would have let me, I’d have told her I didn’t love her. That I never did, or never could. That I was leaving, and I didn’t care that she’d hate me back because I’d never even think about her again. I may have broken both our hearts, but Holly would get over me. Find another human to pair off with. Forget about me.

Humans could love and lose and love again. It just came so easily to them. Another reminder of how different our species were.

It is love. Love is a human’s greatest strength. I’m sorry, you don’t want to hear that but I have nothing else to tell you.

I’d been such a fucking fool.

All too soon, the highways tapered out into smaller, winding lanes that corkscrewed around the rocky cliff faces. Perilous at times, and so tedious. I swapped service station restaurants with their array of human and mythic foods for whatever sugar laden supplies I’d snatched at the last stop. Not that I felt like eating any of it. And service station toilets for bushes and ravines next to my car and crossing my fingers I didn’t get flattened by barrelling artics that shouldn’t have been on those tiny roads in the first place.

Long after the sun went down, I found a place to pull over for the night. An opening in the forests, a little camping ground, overlooking the southern regions of the Kingdom. Beyond that, if you squinted, you could just about spot the homogenous lights of Borderlands. Most likely St. Clouds, it was the most neon of the cities. Remy was East, way too East to make out.

I left the top down on my car, because even though Holly wouldn’t see any stars from where she was, and even though she was probably half-way to hating me again, I needed to know we were both under the same blanket. I pictured her on the rooftop lounger, drinking my beers. Sugar Paste was with her. Maybe — hopefully — she was launching my clothes off the side of the building into the street below.

Two other vehicles shared the little campsite with me. A motorcycle, whose owner had erected an impossibly large tent next to it, clearly glamoured, and an RV, which housed a young family. The father, an orc, the mother, I suspected was human, and three mixed-species kids of . . . indeterminate small ages. I didn’t know child ages, they were like three feet tall, and they had bubble wands.

It pulled at something in my heart. Something hidden deep. Bottom of the well stuff. Suddenly I was imagining Holly and me in a motorhome, travelling through the realms. Maybe there were kids. Maybe. There was definitely a nice little kitchenette on board, though. And a flushing toilet.

My chest seared with renewed agony, like my heart had broken so thoroughly, my chest had buckled under the immense pain, and was pulling down each rib in turn.

I didn’t sleep. I simply watched the skies lighten, thankful my view didn’t extend eastwards. If I never saw another fucking sunrise again it would be too soon.

Every day apart was a chance for Holly to detach herself more from me. I had to remind myself that she would get over me. She would. Human emotions were short lived.

Just like their lives.

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