Page 23 of By the Fae

“How do you expect me to help?” I said, sidestepping her question. I was probably going to hell for withholding that information. Ah, who was I kidding? I’d been on the road straight to hell for a long while now.

Holly began picking at a loose thread on the hem of her clown costume. “I’m . . . I don’t have very much experience with men.”

The realisation came crashing down on me like a pile of retro games cartridges. I might be known as the office bike, the Rake of Remy, the reason August had to implement the Golden Rule, but Seth had a reputation too. Though his rep wasn’t derived from being a slut, like mine was. Seth notoriously despised virgins. Yet, he always seemed to attract them, much to his chagrin. A standing joke in our building. Virgins flocked to him like Sugar Paste to Elvish doughnuts. Anyone with an ounce of experience would be much more likely to find themselves at my door. And Seth hated me for it.

“You’re a virgin?”

This time, the flush extended from Holly's face right down her neck and disappeared into the neckline of her t-shirt. Her hands balled into fists. “I am not!” I caught my smile between my teeth. “I’m not a virgin. It’s just, I’ve only been with human men, and those encounters have always been . . .”

I waited for her to continue. After it became clear she wouldn’t, I offered, “Disappointing? Too brief?”

“Not too brief. The opposite of too brief. I’ve never had . . . With them, I couldn’t . . . They couldn’t . . .”

Oh, it was too much fun. “The human men didn’t make you come.”

She found the loose thread once again, and her gaze flicked to the window as though she was contemplating jumping out headfirst. “Yes. No, they couldn’t. I’ve never . . .” she said, not finishing her sentence.

“Have you ever had an orgasm?”

The flush returned. “Of course I have!”

Gods, Goldie, do not think about it. Do not let your mind wander there.

Fuck. Too late.

My dick jumped in my trousers as though being summoned into action. I shook my head to rid the thought. “Again, what does this have to do with me?”

She blew out a long stream of air and waited approximately an hour before saying, “I want you to teach me.”

My feet were burnt before I realised I’d dropped the coffee. I picked up the now empty cup and set it aside on the table.

“I want you to show me everything I need to know to . . .” She trailed off, cleared her throat, and continued, “To, uh, please a fae man. So, uh, so that he’d want more than one dalliance with me.”

Did she really just use the word ‘dalliance’?

I started pacing.

“You want me to teach you how to fuck? For Seth’s benefit?”

Holly flinched at the word fuck, confirming what I already knew. This was possibly the worst idea in Borderlands’ history.

“Okay, let’s skip over the most obvious flaw in the plan for a sec, yeah?” I said. “Even if I wanted to agree, I can’t help you. You probably know this, but in case you don’t, I’m going to spell it out for you. I’m not allowed to fuck you. That’s it. If I sleep with another colleague, August will fire me. And since I don’t want to be fired. He,” I placed a hand either side of my cock, her eyes followed my movement, growing wide for a second, before she dragged them back to my face, “Needs to stay where he is, i.e. in my pants, i.e. not anywhere near whatever may be lurking under that circus performer costume you’re wearing.”

It took her a few moments to speak. Couldn’t say I blamed her. Even in his slumbering state, he cut a fairly impressive silhouette. Or was she pissed about the circus comment?

“That’s why I’m asking you. And not any of the other guys.”

I frowned at her.

“Because if you agree to help me, you cannot tell a soul, or you’ll be sacked on the spot.”

“Damn, human,” I said, stopping my pacing to stare straight at her. “You might actually be a genius.”

Holly stood up, huffed on her knuckles, and rubbed them on her shoulder.

“Oh, no, don’t be cute with me.” This made her smile even more. “It’s still a very firm no.”

“What’s the other thing, then? The most“obvious flaw”in the plan?” she said, doing air quotes. She was still smiling as though she’d already won, but I was about to wipe that sucker off her face.

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