Page 13 of Power Play

I fucked up my own happy ending, confusing light infatuation because I was lonely with a real love. What could be more pathetic than that?

Only the fact that I never said ‘I love you’ to the man I was in love with for years.

I am a joke.

“Mommy.” Maya’s voice makes me flip my head to her. She’s sitting on the couch in the living room with Angie by her side, who holds Meghan in her arms. “I want drink.”

“There is apple and grapefruit juice if you want,” Ava says to me before focusing on Nevaeh. “Everything’s ready. We just need to take the dishes outside. Thank you so much, Nev.”

I skirt the kitchen bar and go pour some apple juice in Maya’s sippy cup, which I brought to the kitchen earlier, all while loosely listening to Ava chat with Nevaeh about Colton and Roman. When I turn around, I see Maya walking toward me with a bright smile on her lips. Grinning in return, I kneel to her and extend the juice. “Here you go, sweetie.”

Maya takes it from me and starts sipping, her eyes dancing between me and the girls. She didn’t last long with Drake in the backyard, preferring instead to come back and be with us. She spent the last twenty minutes or so talking with Angie as she looked after Meghan.

My heart swells. There are so many emotions running high in my chest. I’m happy that Maya is surrounded by so manyamazing people who love her and care about her deeply. I know I can always count on my friends and Drake to help me if I ever need anything. Maya has everything she needs, except her father’s attention. Sometimes I wonder how it’s possible for someone to be so indifferent to his own child. Not a question about how she’s doing, not a text asking for a picture so he can see his daughter grow. He doesn’t care.

I spent so many sleepless nights worrying about him, dying from jealousy because I knew about all the girls he’d be hanging out with. Stalking his social media to check if he posted something, only to fire up my insecurities more and more. And for what? Did he ever change how he acted? Did he ever think about how it was for me? No. Finally accepting this when Maya turned six months old helped me a ton, and I stopped being upset about what Eli does or doesn’t do.

The future, on the other hand, is something that bothers me. There are definitely days when I think about Maya inevitably asking me about her dad. I don’t know how I’ll answer that because growing up knowing that your parent doesn’t want you would be a low blow to anyone’s self-confidence. I don’t want that for my little girl.

“Mommy, come.” Maya extends a hand to me, and I gently wrap my fingers around hers.

“Where are we going?”

“Out,” she says. Maya starts pulling me out of the room, and I follow after her, grabbing a bowl filled with a salad on my way.

“Do you want to go back to Uncle Drake?”

She shakes her head.

“Do you want to go play outside?”

Another shake.

“So why are we going to the backyard?” I ask as we step onto the wooden terrace.

Maya looks around, and then her gaze lands on the guys sitting at the table and talking. She lifts her hand and points at a man with auburn hair and a short, neat beard. His yellowish-green eyes sparkle as he listens to Drake say something to Roman. An amused smile stretches across his face.

“Him,” Maya says.

My insides start churning with the reality that I’m trying to chase away. Maya brought me out here to go tohim?

“I wanna talk to Clay,” she tells me, tugging on my hand. “Come.”

Not a big deal, Layla, you know she’s very sociable and gets along with new people easily.

With a deep breath, I nod and drag my feet after her.

When we’re a few steps away from the table, Maya lets go of my fingers and rushes to Clay. This gesture alone leaves me stunned. She stops by his side and places her hands on his knees. I watch them, my heart beating so fast that all the sounds around me fade away. Everyone at the table falls silent, probably as surprised as I am by Maya’s sudden appearance. Everyone but him.

Clay’s lips break into a wide grin as he bends over to level his gaze with Maya’s. “You changed your mind?” he asks, and she nods. Not even a second later, he scoops her into his arms and lowers her onto his lap. The pure joy written all over Maya’s face makes me freeze like a deer caught in headlights. I stand still with my jaw unhinged.

What is happening?

Nevaeh passes me, carrying a dish, and it instantly takes me out of my shocked state. I’ve got this. Straightening my back, I strut to the table and put the salad bowl on it, trying to avoid Drake’s gaze, but he keeps glancing between his niece and me. I have no clue what’s going on, but I’m not going to question it.If Maya wants to spend time with Clay, for whatever reason, she can totally do that.

I head back to the house, reciting Maya’s favorite song fromPaw Patrol. Anything to keep myself from overthinking. Helping Ava serve dinner is exactly what I need.

But even with this song, I can’t stop the memories that flood my mind.

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