Page 86 of Power Play

CLAY

4 years 4 months ago, July

“Good morning,”I say, leaning down and planting a kiss on Layla’s forehead. She smiles affectionately and sits up. Her back is pressed to the headboard of my bed, her eyes still sleepy. “Brought you something delicious.” I lower the tray on her lap.

Layla observes the food I made for her: eggs Benedict, two peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, a bowl with sliced banana, apple, and orange, and a mug of coffee, then she meets my gaze. “Why, Clay Rodgers? Are you trying to bribe me?”

I laugh, rounding the bed, and sit down beside her. “Bribe you? Definitely not. Trying to change your mind? Yes.”

She puts her head on my shoulder, sighing deeply. “Clay, I need to go back home. You know I already signed the contract, and I want to give this job a try. I’m not feeling very confident, not sure real estate is something I want to do in the future, but…I have to try, you know? I wanted it before.”

“I hate that you couldn’t find the job here, in Chicago. Fuck all these people who didn’t see how awesome you are. Who cares you don’t have any experience? They’re all stupid.” I bite out, theanger in my voice too prominent. “I thought once you graduated, you’d come here…We could’ve lived together.”

I fall quiet, my emotions strangling me. She’s been with me in Chicago for two weeks and now she’s leaving in two days. Going back home, starting her first job, starting a new life—away from me. And it fucking pains me. I love her so damn much, and with each year, my feelings are growing stronger, while with her…I’m never sure. We’re not official. We’re not exclusive. She never even said she loved me.

“Yeah, it sucked hearing no again and again, but what else could I do? I needed a job, and this agency in Detroit saw something in me. I signed this contract for a year. It will be fine.”

A hesitant smile is on her lips.

Layla nuzzles her nose in my skin, trailing her lips over my throat. I close my eyes, reveling in how nice it feels. Her soft, plump lips, her warm breath, her velvety tongue. Everything in her is addicting to me, and she knows it. She’s using my feelings for her as a way for me to drop my questions, to stop pressuring her for answers. I understand that, and I’m so fucking weak for her that it takes a lot of effort not to give in.

“Promise me that once your contract is over, you’re coming here, to live with me?” I whisper, my words coming out hoarse. “Promise me that we’ll try to be together? For real this time.”

She leans away. “I promise.”

“And we’ll tell all our friends. And Drake.” I hate that I’m lying to everyone around me. That I’m not telling the truth to my family, to Colton, about why I’m staying in Chicago instead of going back home to Michigan, instead of flying to visit Colt in Santa Clara. I want this to end, just as much as I want her to be with me.

“I promise.” But by the tone of her voice, I know she’s annoyed. “Everyone will know what a terrible person I am.”

This concept is still baffling to me. She genuinely believes that if our friends know that we got back together again, they won’t be supportive…because she broke my heart. But if I can move on and forgive that, why would anyone care?

“They’ll be happy for us, Layla.”

“We’ll see,” she mutters and picks up the fork from the tray. And that’s how I know that our conversation is over.

I kiss her temple and roll out of bed. “Enjoy your meal. I’ll go for a little run, and once I’m back, we can hop into the shower together.”

“Sounds good,” she says with her mouth full. “Ahhh, this is the best eggs Benedict I’ve ever tried. You’re incredible, Clay.”

“That’s because I’m trying to impress my girl.” I wink at her and head to the walk-in closet to change my clothes.

“And it’s working,” Layla yells after me, making me chuckle. Though once I start changing, my smile drops. If it were working, she would’ve been here with me a long time ago.

And this truth hurts.

I hold Layla close,my arms wrapped around her from behind as we lie on the couch in my living room.Gossip Girlis on TV. It’s not the first time I’m watching it with her, but I don’t mind. She loves the show, and if watching it makes her happy, then I’m happy too.

Though tonight it’s hard for me to actually focus on the screen. I’m lost in my own thoughts, and none of them are good. It was one thing when she was in college. Busy with her studies, busy with school life and cheerleading. I knew all about her friends, about the guys she was hanging out with. But her life after graduation will be a totally different thing, when shewill be working hours at this estate agency, meeting new people, making new friends. What if she meets someone who will turn her head? Someone who will be there for her? Someone who she can see daily, go on dates with? Do all the stuff couples do?

With how I still don’t know how she feels about me, it’s fucking hard not to be scared. I’m worried I’m gonna lose her.

“Aww, it’s one of my favorite moments,” Layla murmurs, ripping me out of my thoughts. I glance at the screen. It’s Chuck proposing to Blair. “How this ring still found its way back to them. Another proof that they were always meant to be, don’t you think?”

“Uh-huh.” She’s oblivious to how I feel now, to all the dark thoughts and worries that circulate in my brain. I never told her that, but deep down, I believed she was coming to me this time to stay.

Layla wiggles and turns to look at me, her eyes roaming over my face. I brush away a strand of her hair, tucking it behind her ear.I love you.The words are on the tip of my tongue, but I hold them to myself.

Only when I know for sure she’s ready.