Page 47 of Breakaway

What a fucking joke!

“It’s not a date. And I’m not going to the restaurant with him. That’s what he wants, but it’s not?—”

“You should say yes,” I deadpan. My every word is venomous.

“Roman…” she whispers, pressing her palm to her chest.

“This was a mistake.” I put even more distance between us. “It won’t happen again.”

Turning on my heel, I stalk to my room and slam the door behind me. It doesn’t matter what Drake said about her and her ex. Words mean shit; only actions matter. She’s keeping him close. Giving him hope. She still hasn’t drawn a line.

My brother was in our friend Kirill’s car that night because our teammate told Maks he saw his girlfriend with her ex, a football player she used to fuck when she was bored. Maksim died because Kirill was drunk and lost control of the car, I know that. But the reason my twin even got into that car was because he wanted to confront a girl. A girl who couldn’t decide who she wanted to be with, who was leading guys on and playing games.

I’m done with all that nonsense.

1 ?? ????. — Dammit.

2 ?????? ?????? — What the hell?

3 ?? ??????? ???? ? ???. — You’re driving me crazy.

Chapter 19

To Be Mine

NEVAEH

I wonderhow one would feel if they were given what they wanted, and then it was taken away a moment later. Disappointed? Angry? Or just sad? All three emotions are raging inside me, and I’m teetering on the edge of a breakdown.

The desire to do something with this energy is destructive. I barely slept, and I left the apartment first thing in the morning. Seeing Roman might trigger something I’m trying to suppress with all my willpower. We’re stuck with each other for almost a year, and if things go to shit…I have no idea how we’re going to make it through.

Angie’s words surge inside my head, and I purse my lips tighter. Of course I can divorce him. It’s the easiest and most obvious decision ever. But something in me resists the very idea of it. I’ve never ignored my best friend’s advice before…until yesterday. As soon as she started telling me that I don’t owe Roman anything, that I can leave him whenever I want, I zoned out. And, oddly, I didn’t feel bad about it.

Probably because I don’t think I’m doing anything wrong. It feels all kinds of right…especially when he kissed me.

What happened between us last night didn’t surprise me. I saw him watching me at Ava’s party. The longing in his eyes wasevident, coating my skin like the warmest blanket on the coldest day. All his little smiles, his arm casually draped over my chair, his fingers drawing circles on my skin. His hand on the small of my back as we walked to his car. The flirting, him serving me wine and making me a plate. Something changed, and I was loving every second of it.

I was absolutely obsessed by the time he asked me what I wanted and I told him to kiss me. Indulging my fantasies turned out to be a million times better than I’d imagined. What I thought it would be paled in comparison to what it actually was. Being kissed by Roman was mind-blowing. It knocked me off my feet and pushed me to beg for more. So much more.

The hard outline of his cock rubbing against my pussy turned my panties into a fucking waterfall. I’ve never been more turned on than I was last night. Not only because ofhowhe kissed me, but becausehefinally gave in.

Everything was ruined within one stupid minute. It’s like a cruel joke. The man I’ve been crushing on likes me, but he’s not going to touch me ever again…because Travis chose the worst time ever to call me. I could’ve had a chance to make things right if Roman hadn’t read the text. But he did. His jealousy sent a thrill down my spine, exciting me for a second. Until I realized it had transformed into resentment. Toward me.

It’s the worst outcome possible.

Sitting in my car, I press my forehead to the steering wheel and close my eyes. Feeling this fucking doomed makes me ill. I’m used to always finding solutions to my problems. Sometimes it takes a long time, and sometimes it’s not easy. But eventually I always know what to do…unlike now.

There is a puzzle piece I’m missing. Something that makes him feel so strongly about me still talking to my ex. He’s so deep in his own head, he’s not even listening to me. He doesn’t want to know my side of the story…and it sucks.

The sound of Gavin DeGraw’s “I Don’t Want to Be” rattles the quiet, and I snatch my phone from the passenger seat. As I answer, I open the car door and climb outside.

“Hey, Nev. Sorry I didn’t hear your call earlier. My phone was on silent,” Angie explains softly. “How are you?”

“Roman kissed me last night.” I pause, leaning against my car.

“And how do you feel? How was it?”

“Everything I wanted and more.” Intoxicating but soothing. It’s like he took all my worries away and filled me with happiness and calm instead. Men and women I’ve kissed before…all those memories are a blur. But the memory of his is still there. Vivid and intense. I shut my eyes, chewing on my bottom lip. No longer swollen from his kisses, my lips feel so ordinary.

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