Page 37 of Breakaway

My heart beats so violently, like a drum reverberating through my body, I’m surprised he doesn’t wake up. Uncertainty engulfs me as I bend down and lift his blanket. There’s nothing I want more than to help him deal with the night terrors that torture him. It’s like a mantra that resonates in my brain, getting louder and louder with every breath I take.

Fuck it.

Rounding his bed, I climb in from the other side. With calculated slowness, I move closer, cover him with his blanket, and search his face in the dimness of his room. His jaw is clenched hard, and I hear him grind his teeth in his sleep. His usually plump lips are pursed into a thin line, his eyebrows etched together. Even in his sleep I can see the tension in his rigid muscles. Whatever he’s dreaming about is still haunting him.

I lick my lips and gradually lower myself onto my right side, moving forward inch by inch until I’m under his blanket too. Closing my eyes, I snake my hand around his waist from behind until my chest is up against his broad back. My breath gets stuck in my throat from the contact. I wait for him to wake up, to kick me out of his bed, but it doesn’t happen.

It feels like time has stopped. Little by little, his body relaxes into my embrace. Roman’s no longer muttering or crying, his breathing is deep and rhythmic. Mustering the courage, I slide my hand higher and feel his heartbeat. Steady and slow. His nightmare seems to be gone, and he’s sound asleep, quietly snoring beside me. My eyes grow heavier, and I’m trying my hardest to stay awake.

The logical part of my brain knows I should leave. The illogical part of me, the one that rules my heart, wants me to stay. He smells woodsy and powdery. Notes of sandalwood and, strangely, coconut are easily recognizable. His scent injects under my skin, warming my insides and making my head dizzy. It feels good to be so close to him, and it makes it really hard to resist my attraction to him. And yet, I should resist. Using his vulnerable state to enjoy his closeness is wrong.

I force myself up and out of his bed. Back in my room, I hide under my blanket and close my eyes. His scent crept under my skin, igniting a tingling sensation all over my body and flooding my veins with his presence. The beating of his heart still echoes in my ears, even when sleep overtakes me.

He’s all I feel…and all I dream about. And I’m not sure that’s a good thing.

“Roman saidhe already bought a gift for Ava,” I tell Angie, holding my phone between my ear and my shoulder while rummaging through my purse. Where are my damn car keys? “Do you think I should buy something for her myself?”

“Well, you’re going as a couple, so one gift is enough. But if you want to make a good impression on Roman’s friends, I’d suggest you bring something small. Maybe flowers? Or chocolates?”

“I was thinking maybe flowers for Ava and something sweet for their kids, but I’m not sure.” I finally fish my keys from my purse.

Angie chuckles softly. “You’re taking the role of Roman’s wife very seriously. His friends will know what happened in Vegas and why you decided to stay together. You don’t need to pretend.”

“I’m not pretending,” I blurt, instantly biting my bottom lip.Me and my big mouth. “What I mean is, his friends have already met me, but we’ve never really talked to each other. If I’m going to be stuck with him till summer, there’s a pretty good chance I’ll see them all more often. I don’t want it to be awkward.”

“It won’t be awkward. I promise,” Angie murmurs. The distant chatter on her end of the phone becomes louder. “How are things between you and Roman?”

I unlock my car and slide inside, keeping silent. When the door is closed, I relax into my seat and let my shoulders sag. “We’re good. He’s a pretty awesome roommate.”

“Just roommate?”

“Just roommate.” I confirm. “Nothing has happened between us. Not in Vegas, not in his apartment. He’s made it clear that he’s not interested in me, just like I’m not looking for a relationship. I need to find myself before I get back on the market.”

“I thought you?—”

“Jesus!” I blurt, cutting Angie off. Travis is hurrying toward my car with a huge bouquet of red roses. I grip the steering wheel. I should’ve left the second I got in my car.

“Nev, is everything okay?”

“Travis is here. Again,” I grit through my teeth, faking a smile as he waves at me. “I gotta go, Angie. See you on Saturday.”

“See you, Nev. Bye.”

My ex stops near my car, and I roll down my window. “Hey, Trav.”

“These are for you.” He extends the flowers to me, smiling from ear to ear. “I went to your office, but Gigi said you’d already left, so I rushed to the parking garage. I’m so glad you’re still here.”

“Travis, you shouldn’t have?—”

“Please, Nev, take them.” He bends down and puts the bouquet on my lap. “I know how much you love roses. It’s just a little something to make you smile.”

“Thank you.”

“Do you have plans this weekend?”And here we go.“I thought maybe we could do something together. Maybe take Happy for a walk in the park.”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea, Trav. We broke up.”

Travis winces, sticking out his bottom lip. “I remember.” With a rejected sigh, he hangs his head low. “We were friends before, Nev. Why can’t we start by going back to the basics? Spend time together, just walking the dog and talking like in the good old days. Happy misses you.”

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