Page 99 of Breakaway

“No worries,” Colton says, his gaze dancing between my husband and me. “You’re home safe, and you’re not alone, so I’m going to go.”

Turning on his heel, Colton walks down the hallway, and Roman follows him. Without thinking, I call out to Thompson.

“Colton?”

“Yeah?” He glances over his shoulder, meeting my gaze.

“Thank you.”

With a nod, he gives me a smile and proceeds to the door with Roman in tow. I step to the couch and plop down on it, breathing in and out and rubbing my sweaty palms over the skirt of my dress. So many emotions. So many feelings are brewing inside my chest. But the most overwhelming one is love…one I was so sure I wasn’t capable of.

Love that doesn’t know any restraints. Doesn’t see obstacles or accept any rules. But I love my husband without holding back. With an open heart and a burning soul. It’s when I lose myself in Roman, only to find my true self in the reflection of his eyes.

And I swear, never in my life have I felt more…beautiful, smart, desired than I feel with him.

I found my person in him.

“Hey.” His voice is quiet as he lowers himself beside me. His shoulder touching mine makes my body buzz. Then he covers my palm with his, on the skirt of my dress, and a jolt of electricity goes right through me. I look at him, and he smiles, threading his fingers through mine and lifting my hand to his mouth. His soft lips press to my palm, awakening the butterflies in my stomach—or more like making them go absolutely insane, because I swear I even feel ticklish from what’s happening in my stomach.

I ask the first thing that comes to mind. “Were you talking to your mom?”

Roman chuckles, nodding. “Yeah, needed to apologize for lying to her. And I promised that I’m not going to fix my Kawasaki.” I arch an eyebrow, not sure if I really believe him. “I swear, Nevaeh, I’m really not going to ride it ever again. That was the last time.”

“I’ll pretend I believe you,” I say with a smile. Then I fall quiet. I feel like we’re tiptoeing around the conversation wereally need to have. Or maybe I’m tiptoeing, since I was the one who decided to ask him who he was talking to.

Ugh, I should’ve kept my mouth shut, because now the room is irritatingly silent. I have so many things to say to him—hell, I’ve been practicing what I was going to say to him since I left the office, but now the words hang on the tip of my tongue, and nothing happens.

“I’m sorry,” Roman and I finally say at once, and we both laugh.

“Can I go first?” Roman asks, and I nod. “Yesterday, when I read your article on the plane, I was so furious that I didn’t even question how some of those things got in there. I never told you about my first team, and how my future with them was in danger because I started drinking so much after Maksim’s death. I never told you about my father and how exactly he died. But so many things that I did tell you about mixed with the things I didn’t, and they went overlooked. I saw only the picture as a whole, and I instantly assumed you betrayed me. Because of my trust issues. After that, I didn’t think at all. All I felt was rage. I didn’t even try to understand why you looked so surprised when I told you about the article; that only aggravated me more and pushed me to run away from you.

“I’m so sorry for walking away, Nevaeh. I’m sorry for not listening to you. For not trying to talk things through. I should’ve never left you the way I did. I should’ve never hurt you. I…I was a coward, hiding behind my pain and feelings of injustice.” Roman hangs his head low, looking at my palm resting in his. “It’s like a breakaway in hockey—a mistake by a defense. When an opponent is left alone with the goalie, with no defense in sight. That’s exactly what I did…defending only myself, I left you alone instead of staying and trying to figure out what happened. You didn’t deserve that…and I honestly don’t deserve you.”

“Remember I told you about the strange things happening to my emails?” I ask, clearing my throat. “It was Travis. A few months ago, before we broke up, I logged in to my email from his laptop and forgot to log out. He had access to it, and he replaced my original article with the version you read. He became a jealous, pitiful man. He wanted you to leave me because he knew it would break my heart. He wanted to hurt me for the pain I caused him. You were collateral damage, no more than that.”

“The dedication that it took…” Roman shakes his head in disbelief. “You’ll probably think I’m crazy after everything that has happened, but I’m grateful to him.” My lips part, and I blink, not sure I heard him right. “I finally don’t have any secrets from my mom, and she doesn’t hate me for what I said to Maks. She said she understands, and that she never would’ve blamed me for his death. You were absolutely right.”

“I’m really happy you talked to your mom, and I hope it helps you move on.” My eyes are welling up with tears when I put my head on his shoulder and sigh deeply. “Moving on doesn’t mean forgetting Maksim.”

“I know that now.”

We smile at each other, and my chest doesn’t feel so tight anymore. And yet, there’s something I really want him to do…something I’ve wanted him to do since yesterday.

Grabbing my phone from the coffee table, I pull up my article and hand it to Roman. “This is what I wrote about you.”

“Nevaeh…” he mutters, staring me in the eyes. The intense turquoise color entices me.

“Please, Roman, read it,” I insist, and he obeys.

People who hate their own existence and don’t believe they deserve anything good. I recognize their demons, because in the past they were my demons too.

After years of being in the dark, being broken and not believing I deserved to be loved, I never really let anyone get close to me, except for Angie. I was attracted to my partners. I was even in love, but I always held myself back. It didn’t feel right to open up, and I didn’t feel comfortable enough to share my secrets. Until a man with the most beautiful eyes swept me off my feet.

My Roman.

The night I met him changed everything for me, even though I didn’t know that then. I wasn’t single, and I never acted on my attraction, but whenever I was around him, my eyes involuntarily looked for him. On the ice at his games. At the parties our friends would throw. I wanted to be close to him, but I kept my distance because it was wrong.

Even after I finally found the strength to break up with the man I was in a relationship with because I didn’t want to continue leading him on, I never thought anything would happen between Roman and me. I ended my relationship for me, and for my boyfriend, because he didn’t deserve to be with someone who didn’t love him.

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