Page 7 of Breakaway

“Trav, I know how this sounds, and I’m incredibly sorry, but I can’t do this anymore.” I sniff, looking away.

He moves closer, crouching in front of me and putting his hands on my knees. “Nevaeh, look at me. Please.”

I lick my lips and swallow my nerves. Reluctantly, I meet his brown eyes. His brows pull together as he studies my face with a deep hurt behind his irises.

“What’s going on?” he whispers. “I saw you crying today at the office, and now you’re breaking up with me. Wha…How can I help you?”

A lonely tear trails down my face when I lean forward and cup Travis’s cheek. “I was crying because I couldn’t deal with my emotions. Because I was angry and disappointed that my coworker botched an assignment I gave her, and I took responsibility for it. No one blamed me, but I felt terrible. It’s like…everything is fine, but at the same time it isn’t. I don’t even know how to explain it to you.”

“Let me help you, baby,” Travis pleads, his palms running up and down my knees. “Sometimes things stop making sense, and we need a moment to find ourselves in the craziness. I’m here for you, and I will always be here for you. I will do?—”

“I saw the ring, Trav.” I shake my head. My tears are freely streaming down my face now. His eyes round, and his pupils widen. “I’m not ready…”

Travis leans back, his mouth hanging open. He threads his fingers through his hair, making a mess of his curls. “I wasn’t going to propose to you right away. I wanted to wait till your birthday.”

“In four months?” I hiccup. “I had a panic attack when I saw the ring. That’s not a normal reaction.”

His eyes stay on me, making it hard to breathe. Then he pushes away from me, rises to his feet, and starts pacing back and forth. The longer he keeps quiet, the more uncomfortable Ifeel. I want him to shout at me, to tell me how wrong I am, but instead, when he finally looks back at me—I see tears.

“Travis…” I whisper, my voice trembling.

“So, this is over? We’re over? Or you just need a break?”

“I haven’t been myself for a while now. Nothing has been making sense. Nothing is bringing me joy.” I look down at Happy, and my heart constricts painfully. “I need to get myself together first. To work on my issues. Anything that will make me feel like myself again. You deserve better.”

He runs his palm down his face. “But what if I only want you?”

“You don’t.” I shake my head. “My parents were never happy together. My mom cheated on my dad with his best friend. All I ever saw was pain and hurt. Lies and scandals. Even my first boyfriend turned into my worst nightmare. I have no idea what it means to love someone without holding back, what it means to lose myself in someone without being afraid that I will become a different person. I’m not capable of the love you deserve.”

“I’ll wait for you. No matter how long, I will.” He stomps back to the couch and grabs my hands in his, bending down to look me in the eye. “You’reitfor me, Nev. And I will wait for you to see that I’m it for you as well. The way we met…it was destiny.”

It was just a broken elevator.The words hang on the tip of my tongue, but I swallow them down. We were never right for each other…and once he’s had time away from me, he will see it too.

I nod, pulling my hands out of his grip. “Okay. Let’s talk again in a few months.”

“A few months?” he asks, taken aback. I stand up from the couch. “Where are you going? You don’t have a place to stay, and it’s already eight o’clock.”

“I booked a room for tonight. I’ll figure out the rest tomorrow.”

“You can stay?—”

“No,” I say and stroll toward the hallway. I don’t even allow myself a second glance at Happy. Because if I see the dog, I’ll lose it again.

Right before I grab my things, Travis catches my elbow and turns me around. His eyes desperately search my face, his lips quivering. “I love you, Nev.”

“I love you too,” I lie and wrap my arms around his shoulders, hugging him tightly.

I know thisisthe end. I have no right to continue giving him false hope. This man deserves to be happy…just not with me.

“Bye, Travis,” I whisper and step back, taking my suitcase.

Waiting for the elevator, I prop my shoulder against the wall, feeling defeated. The fear of ending up with the wrong person is catching up to me like never before. If I know anything for certain, it’s that I don’t want to be like my parents. In a loveless marriage. Zero respect for one another. After watching them, I know it’s better to be alone than with someone who isn’t right for me.

Unfortunately, I let myself be fooled that I could build something with Travis. Something big and full of love. Something that would last forever, even if deep down I knew it was an illusion, I just refused to admit it.

My only regret is that I had to break his heart to realize it…while there’s only emptiness in my own.

Chapter 3

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