Page 9 of Just Try, Again and Again

Just as she is about to get to the part where it gets a little technical, Luisa, our office manager, plants a soft knock on theglass door. “Sorry to interrupt, but Bryce, your sister called. She said it was important,” she says in German.

“Alright. Thanks for the heads up.” I excuse myself and go outside to a quiet corner in the open space office that we share with the whole company. Observing the engineers that are still here working overtime, I dial Lily’s number and wait for her to answer.

“Bryce, I’ve been trying to reach you the whole time.” She cuts right to the chase. Her voice. It sounds different. She sounds panicked.Did she have one of her anxiety attacks again?

“I was in a meeting. Technically, I still am. Did something happen to you guys? To Nick?”

“Haruki is here.” My body goes rigid, as if someone implanted a steel rod on my back. “She’s in my apartment.” Lily is going on and on with her story, but my brain has tuned her out. My eyes also decide to blur out the engineers huddled up together with their laptops in front of me.

Haruki is here.

Haruki. Haruki. Haruki. Haruki.

A name that I haven’t heard in a long time. The last time the name slipped out of my mouth was when I told Lily about our marriage. I couldn’t tell her about everything that went down, and she didn’t need to know that the real reason my dad went ice-cold on me five years ago was because I told him he should call the family lawyer because of something I did. She wasn’t ready then; she had a lot on her plate. But I had to give her something. I had to let her in on a part of it with the way I returned all brooding and fucked up. So, I told her about me and Haruki. Enough so that she would get the gist. Lily never asked again after that, and I never offered anything else. Whatever blanks she filled in herself, she never shared her thoughts with me.

Cutting her off, I answer, “I’m coming home.” After all these years, I still can’t shake the feeling. Wherever she is…that’s exactly where I want to be. Even if I’m fucking dead to her.

7

Bryce- 18 years old

Haruki looks pretty in the dress that we bought yesterday. She’s wearing an ankle-length wrap dress with heels, her ombré green hair styled in an updo at the salon before we arrived here.

She looks up at me, flustered, as we walk into my house. “Are you sure this isn’t weird? The two of us met just a few weeks ago, and now I’m your date for your dad’s engagement party?”

I can’t help but snort out a laugh. My dad is getting married to a woman he just met a few months ago.This pales in comparison.“It’s not weird, I promise,” I reassure her, resting a hand on her lower back. “Besides, it’s not a real party. It’s just going to be us, my dad, his fiancée, her daughter, and some of their friends.”

My dad and Astrid not only sprung the news on me that they were engaged during the dinner we had that night, but they also used the chance to invite me to this weird get-together to celebrate the two of them, us becoming a family, and Astrid and her daughter moving in here. The audacity of that womanis something else. She actually invited me to my own house for a housewarming party. In a house that she hasn’t even moved into yet. I haven’t even met her daughter.Becoming a family my fucking ass…

“Son,” a familiar voice greets me when we step through the front door. “Glad you could make it.” His eyes move from me to Haruki, offering her his hand to shake. “I’m Arthur Simmons, Bryce’s dad.”

“I’m Haruki. Nice to meet you, Mr. Simmons. Congratulations on your engagement.”

My dad looks at both of us and gives a small smile. “At least one of you is happy for me.”

He gives me a nod and walks away to join his friends before stopping and coming back in our direction. “When you go over there, do me a favor. If anyone asks, tell them you’d already met Lillian during our dinner. Astrid is a little concerned about what people will think if her friends find out that we’re engaged, but our kids have never met before.”

I grab Haruki’s hand and walk over to the pretentious buffet spread the caterers have set up. Trays and trays of finger food lay on our kitchen island. “Make us a plate, yeah?” I tell her.

My eyes scan the room and I smile when I find what I’m looking for. I take one of the chilled champagne bottles from the ice bath and call out to Haruki, tilting my head to the side, telling her to follow me outside once she’s done. One thing I’ve learned about her—that girl is a foodie. I’m going to let her be in her element for a while. She can pick out her food in peace and I can calm my irritation down before meeting Astrid. Win-win.

The further I am from the house, the clearer the muffled conversation in the pool house becomes. Looking in through the window, I can see the devil herself in a brown pantsuit and blazer, yelling at a girl wearing braces who looks just like her.

“Can you just please, for my sake, stop with the brooding? We are supposed to celebrate happiness today, Lily. Aren’t you tired of crying all the time?”

“Mom, I don’t understand, why are we even moving here?” the girl asks Astrid. “Aren’t you going a bit too fast?”Looks like she and I might get along.

“I love Arthur and he loves me. Sometimes you just know.” Astrid delivers her defense in such an irritated tone; her daughter’s expression is morphing from sad to angry.

“His body was barely even cold, and you were already?—”

“You naïve child. I did this for you. Now, for the love of God, please stop moping around in here. What will other people think of us? What will Arthur think of us? Behave yourself and act accordingly. Don’t be ungrateful.”

I had a feeling about her when we met, and I was right. This woman is going to cause trouble. Astrid is about to say something to her daughter—something vindictive, probably—when she stops in her tracks the second she sees me walk into the pool house.

“What’s going on here?” I ask.

Astrid straightens her blouse and swipes the loose hair strands on her face to the side. She attempts a smile. “Bryce, I didn’t see you arrive.”

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