Page 55 of Just Try, Again and Again

Haruki is still catching her breath when I move up to kiss her and put my tongue between her lips, giving her a taste of herself. “Bryce, that?—”

“Flip over,” I say as I reach for my jeans pocket and grab a condom from my wallet.We don’t want kids. Safety can be fun.

The moment she does, I slide my dick inside her, the metal on top of the head already glistening with precum. Over the years, I’ve memorized everything about this woman, but somehow I didn’t remember that being inside her feels like this. “Fuck, Haruki.”

I don’t want to talk anymore, we have the whole night for pillow talk. I glide myself in and out of her. Slow at first, then increasing my speed as she gets used to me. My hands grab the sides of her hips as she meets me thrust for thrust. My attempt at being gentle is thrown out the window the moment she takes one of my hands and guides it to the swollen bundle of nerves.

“You want to come with me, baby?” I ask, momentarily taking my hand away and coating my finger with my spit before going back and massaging her clit.

“Please…yes.” She nods.

I feel it. Both of our orgasms are on the precipice. A few more flicks, a few more thrusts, and both of us are going to go over the edge. We come undone with Haruki moaning, and me groaning and cursing as I blow my load. A perfect end to our first date. Just like the first one years ago.

“How arewe going to do this?” Haruki asks me sleepily in the dark. After having sex three times, I’m not sure I have the fucking energy to have this conversation, but I know this is something that we need to talk about.

I stay silent, my eyes staring at her ceiling. “Let’s go with Denmark.”

“Come again?” she asks.

Turning my head to her, I see the two brown eyes trying to read my expression. “We never ended up picking a place to live in. I vote for Denmark.”

“Are you insane?” Haruki hits me in the arm playfully. “We barely know each other as adults, Bryce. You can’t just make a decision to move on a whim. And you can’t leave your family behind.”

I grab the arm that she used and hold her hand. “I’m dead serious,” I answer. “When we did it the first time around, we never had a plan, we never had an end date. I’m telling you now; if six months from now we’re still together, I’m going to move here. I’ve spent a lot of years not prioritizing us, putting us on the backburner. I’m not going to do it anymore, Haruki.”

“What about Lily?” she asks, biting her lower lip. “What about Birdie?”

“I’m going to miss the shit out of Birdie, but Lily will be fine. Lily has Nick.” Remembering the conversation I had with my sister, I smile to myself.I’m grateful for everything you’ve done for us, Bryce. But it’s your time to be happy now.“Lily gave me the go ahead.”

“And what exactly will we do in the next six months?”

“FaceTime, visits, holidays. You know the drill.” I kiss Haruki’s shoulder, excited for what’s to come for us.Better be fucking rainbows and butterflies.“We do an easier version of what we were doing before. Copenhagen to Berlin is not that bad, baby.”

“What if we fail again?” she mutters.Jesus Christ, so many questions.

“I’ve learned my lesson. I’ve matured. So have you. And if we have new problems coming our way, then we’ll go through themtogether. If they break us, which they won’t, then we’ll just try, again and again.”

“You always were overly confident in yourself.” I don’t miss the hint of a smile in her voice. “No wonder you ended up as a sales guy.” Haruki rests her head on my chest and draws circles near my collarbone. “Consider your kokuhaku accepted.”

I kiss her forehead, pressing my lips to the bed of hair that smells of almond oil and sex. “Today's the twelfth of April. Remember it and forget the old one, Haruki. New chapter. New book.”

“I love you, Bryce,” she murmurs into my skin.

“It’s a little creepy to say that on a first date, don’t you think?” I feel her roll her eyes on my chest and try to hold back my laugh. Because the memory of the first night we met is seared in my brain, and I know she’s replaying it, too. I say, “You won’t regret it this time, Haruki Sano. I promise.”

49

Bryce - 33 years old

Six months later

The pout on her face is breaking my heart in two.My little girl—in all the way that matters. She wasn’t supposed to be mine. She wasn’t supposed to be brought into this world. But one night changed everything and before I could catch my own breath, she became my whole world.

“You promise you’ll visit?” Birdie asks, her eyes glossy like emeralds.

I put the moving box I’m carrying down and walk over to her. My own tears are threatening to come out, but I reign them in. “I promise, kid.”

“And I can come visit you during school holidays?”

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