Page 43 of Just Try, Again and Again

I grit my teeth, but answer him anyway. “What happened?”

“It’s not what you think.”

“It’s always never what I think, but humor me.”

“Do you remember Nick Johnson?” I wince in pain at the name. “The guy who dated both your sister and mine?” I cringe for Nick as Cameron finishes his last sentence.

Not knowing what else to do, I let out a nervous laugh. “You didn’t have to call me just to gossip, Cam. What about him?”

“Bryce…he just got carried out of my house by paramedics on a stretcher.”

“What? Why?”

“He overdosed or got a bad batch, I don’t know, man. Sienna told me he’s been coming around a lot. I swear I had nothing to do with this.”Fuck, this is going to set Lily thirty steps back.

“Is he dating your sister again?”

“No, man. The guy is still hung up on your sister, not mine.”No.Cameron hesitates before answering, and for a while, I can only hear his breathing. He starts to speak again as I make my way to the minibar to get a small bottle of something strong. “He’s been coming around to see my dad.”No. “I have to tell you the truth. My dad…A few years ago, he moved on from selling party stuff and started selling smack and oxy to high school and college kids from the area.”No.“I helped him when he got started, but it was too fucked up for me.”No.“The story your ex told you about that party was true.”Fuck.“Bryce, I’m so fucking sorry, bro.”I’m going to fucking kill him.

“Fuck out of my life, Cameron.”

Nick Johnson still has feelings for Lily. Nick Johnson begged me to tell him what happened to her and I never returned his calls. Nick Johnson looked up to me and put me on some cool dude pedestal. Nick Johnson was a good guy. Probably still is.Nick Johnson was introduced to the Livingstons by me. One Livingston sold him weed, the other one posted a picture of him having sex with my sister, and Daddy Livingston corrupted him for good.I corrupted him for good.

After emptying my mini bar and wallowing in self-pity, my drunken need to get some fucking fresh air and take a walk becomes stronger than anything else. So does my need to see Haruki, but first, I need to sober up.

I need to talk to Haruki. She’s always able to calm me down. She always knows what to do. I need to tell her how lost I am without her. I need to beg for her forgiveness for when I didn’t listen to her and acted goddamn annoyed when she warned me about Logan and Cameron.

Just as I am about to walk out the front entrance of the hotel, I see her. She’s laughing with some guy, looking like the happiest person in the whole world. I decide to swallow the lump in my throat and approach them anyway.This is your price to pay, Bryce.

And as I tap her shoulder to let her know that I’m behind her, this pretentious-ass dude blows out a puff of smoke from his stupid vape and says to the love of my life, “I love you, I love your brother, and I love your dad.” In that moment, the demons inside me that I’ve been suppressing ever since I’ve had to be the pillar of support, the ones who feed on my insecurities and self-loathing, decide to come back to life.

Don’t go down without a fight, Bryce.

38

Haruki - 26 years old

Iopen the door to my hotel room and spot Lorenzo sitting slumped in a chair. One of his hands is holding ice cubes wrapped in a small towel. The look on his face makes me want to cry, not that I have any tears left after the conversation that I just had with my father.

“So what did the old man say?” he asks in a sympathetic tone.

“Nothing good.” I sigh.

How could you have kept this from me?

“He doesn’t understand why I did it,” I continue.

You have disrespected me with your recklessness and your childish behavior. Running away is one thing; trying to find yourself after you lost your mom is one thing. Getting married? Without telling anybody? With a boy who you’ve just met two months before?

“He definitely isn’t a fan of Bryce,” I say as I roll my eyes, knowing that Lorenzo probably won’t be asking for his autograph anytime soon, either.

Never mind asking for my blessing, he has met me already. Multiple times. And not once did he have the decency to tell me that he was your husband. My son-in-law. Does he think he can do as he pleases just because he’s wealthy?

“He’s really mad at me.” I start crying again.

I am very disappointed in you. It seems like I do not know my own daughter at all.

Lorenzo regards me with pity, like somebody just beat me up instead of him. Bryce might as well have. It would have been better than having my dad list all the things that I should have done differently. I would give up all the money in my bank account to have him not look at me like I’m some wild teenager who came home with green hair again, but now, there’s no turning back.

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