Page 5 of Just Try, Again and Again

Bryce - 18 years old

Our empty plates sit on the table between us, not even a drop of sauce or a piece of linguine left. Haruki told me she would only come to lunch with me if I took her to the restaurant that sells the most delicious food in Elsham Cove, so I did. La Mia Perla might be a hole in the wall, tucked between a bookstore and our post office, but their seafood pasta is to die for. One can argue that instead of the cove, this place is actually our town’s hidden gem. Thank God the influencers haven’t figured that out yet and thank God the tourists haven’t discovered this place. Not until thirty minutes ago at least. Haruki devours her meal in silence, occasionally moaning as she scarfs down her lunch.

After wiping the grease off my face with a napkin, I open my mouth to speak. “It’s not that I don’t want to study business, because I do, and the Radinger Institute of Technology is one of the best places in the country to study that. But my dad has this expectation of me that I will follow in his footsteps and be like him one day. I don’t know if I want that for myself.”

Before I can finish, Haruki finishes my chain of thought for me. “And studying business administration at the Radinger Institute of Technology feels like a step toward a life that you don’t necessarily want.”

My shoulders feel lighter at her words. Nobody, and I meannobody, understands why I don’t want to be like Arthur Simmons, the fancy investment banker, TED talk speaker, and RadTech graduate. Everybody thinks this would be the best trajectory for me. Even Cameron, my buddy at school who deals weed and party pills, tells me that it would be fucking stupid for me not to work for my father once I get my degree. The guy who sells drugs under the bleachers actually told me to be a good boy and go work for Daddy.

“What do you want to be, then?” she asks, looking genuinely interested in what I have to say.

“I don’t mind the university and the program. I just don’t want to be working ninety-hour work weeks wearing a suit and tie.” Maybe this is why my dad wants me to work for him, then he’ll finally get to spend time with me. I don’t understand why we even live in a house as big as ours, because as long as I can remember, it’s basically just me and the revolving door of housekeepers.And soon, his new fiancée, Astrid, and her daughter.

“My father owns a real estate company in Osaka. They expect me and my brother to help out later on. My dad’s family has owned it since the early sixties.”

“Why does something tell me you don’t want to do that, either?”

She doesn’t answer my question directly, instead, Haruki tucks a few strands of hair behind her ear and stares at the camera that’s next to her plate. “When I told my family that I like photography and would like to pursue it further by studying at the university level, they told me that I would be much moreuseful doing something else. It doesn’t really matter who I am or what I like.”

“What kind of pictures do you like to take, Haruki?”

“I like nature. I like beaches the most. And people.” The solemn look in her eyes is now replaced with a gleam. She turns on her camera and clicks a button repeatedly until she finds what she’s looking for. “Even better when they’re combined.” Haruki hands me the DSLR and smiles. “Here, look.”

It’s a picture of me. I can’t remember the last time I saw myself smiling like that.I look happy.Haruki must notice me being in my own head because she starts to frown.

“What? Is it not good?”

“I love it,” I tell her honestly. “You’re talented. Your skills would go to waste if you were to just take pictures of bathrooms, bedrooms, and kitchen units.” Her cheeks turn a shade of baby pink and I can’t help but smile at the sight of her looking away, embarrassed at my compliment. “Let me tell you what, while you’re in the area, I’ll take you to the best beaches around here. You don’t have a car and the public transport is absolute shit.”

“Thank you, but I don’t want to bother you,” she declines. “Besides, you probably have things to do and friends to hang out with.”

Yeah, things to do. Like stare at the wall at home alone and get stoned because my mom is dead and my dad is at work, spending time with clients that are higher on his priority list than me. Or maybe friends to hang out with like the snobby children of said clients who think they’re better than the other kids in this town. Thank God my dad agreed when I told him I wanted to transfer to the public high school.

“I got time to kill.” I shrug. It’s a better answer thanyou’re the most interesting person I’ve ever seen set foot in this town. With you, I can be whoever I want. Also, my only real friend is my drug dealer, and hanging out with you is less depressingthan hanging out with him, or the guys from the football team who only want to stick their dicks in any hole they see.

Before Haruki gets a chance to answer, my phone starts vibrating on the table.

Cameron

You need a ride to go to the bonfire tonight?

“I will only do that, though, if you go somewhere with me after this,” I say with a grin on my face.

She rolls her eyes, but I can tell by the softness of her expression that she doesn’t mean anything by it. “Not this again! Are you going to make me get dinner with you?”

“Even better. Come with me to the cove again tonight. There’s going to be a party. What better way to end the date than at the beach with some booze? Plus, there’s going to be people there. Loads of people. Two of your favorite things combined.”

“What’s booze?”

“You’ve never heard of that word before?”

She shakes her head.

I feel my cheeks getting hot as my chest caves in.I guess my subtle sign got lost in translation.Haruki is looking at me, waiting patiently for my answer. I chuckle nervously before replying, running my hand through my hair. “It’s alcohol. I’m trying to get you to come with me to a party and get drunk with me and my friends.”

4

Haruki - 18 years old

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