Page 56 of Just Try, Again and Again

A smile breaks out on my face. There were so many things that I wish I could’ve done with Birdie, things that I did in my own childhood, but we never could because we live in a big city. Birdie didn’t grow up going to the beach. She never learned how to ride a bike on a quiet street. She loathes seafood. All a starkdifference from how Lily and I were brought up. All can be done during summer and winter vacations when she visits me and Haruki in Denmark.

“You can visit me anytime you want, Birdie.” I ruffle her hair and she pouts, immediately fixing her headband back in place. “And we’ll FaceTime all the time, too.”

Hearing the voices of Lily and Nick murmuring in the living room, the kid leaves me alone with the packed boxes.

It hurts me to leave them—Lily and Birdie. Lily came into my life as Astrid’s mildly depressed daughter. She became the sister I never had. But with Nick around, three is a crowd, and I know I should move on. Being there for her as a life partner would was never supposed to be my role. This has been a long time coming.

I have no doubt Lily and Birdie can take care of themselves. I have no doubt that Nick will love them to death. I have no doubt I will have a hard time not micromanaging Birdie’s after-school activities from a distance. Lily always tells me I’m such a helicopter parent. Sue me, I’m just excited.

My job here is done. I will still be there for them, for every single fucking thing. But it’s time Lily and I both restart our lives and finally live to the fullest. Life handed us a bad deck of cards, but it has also given us a second chance. And I intend to use mine—spending it with the woman who stole my heart with her funky hair at the crack of dawn on a beach.

“You ready?” Lily asks, her head peeking from the door.

“Ready as I’ll ever be.”

“Bryce?”

“Yeah?”

“You’re the world’s most mediocre stepbrother.”

I laugh when I see the grin on her face.Little shit.

“I love you, baby sis.”

My phone vibrates in my pocket and I take it out. Haruki shows up on the screen, smiling from cheek to cheek.

“My shoot is done. Did I miss her?”

I can’t control the stupid grin that flashes on my face. When Haruki visited me three months ago and officially met Birdie for the first time, I was scared shitless of what would happen. A small part of me feared she’d resent Birdie for keeping us apart all those years ago. I know I’m not her real father, but that protective side of me came out like they do with single dads when they introduce new girlfriends to their kids. I shouldn’t have wasted my time overthinking because the two of them got along like a house on fire. Haruki loves Birdie’s sass and Birdie thinks Haruki is way too cool for me.

“Is that her? Is that her? Is that her?” Birdie comes running and snatches the phone away from me. “Why are you not in Berlin? I thought you’d come.”

Lily and I both shake our heads the moment Birdie starts pouting.

“Hello to you too, princess.” Haruki chuckles as she leans back on her chair and plays with her hair. “I had a wedding to shoot today, remember? But I’m going to come next week.”

I swear my niece’s face starts glowing. Birdie turns to me and asks, “Are you coming to, Uncle Bryce?”

“Nope.” I shake my head. “Just her.” A German-Danish couple booked her for an engagement shoot and I’m going to use the time alone to unpack all this shit I just packed. Something tells me organizing eleven years worth of things you’ve accumulated will not be an easy task.

The spoiled brat has the audacity to squeal in happiness. “I can’t wait to have quality time with you! Are you going to stay with us?”

“That’s the plan,” Haruki answers in a sing-song voice. “Want to have a sleepover with me on your couch? I got us matching pajamas the other day.” If Lily is obsessed with getting me ugly Christmas sweaters, Haruki’s obsessed with buyingpajamas for Kate’s kid and Birdie. She was dead serious with the whole fun aunt thing.

“I can’t wait!” Birdie screams before giving me back my phone and running off to Nick to tell him all about her upcoming weekend.

A feeling settles in my chest, like all the puzzle pieces of my life are coming together. When I was younger, Dad used to always say that my mom’s dying wish was for me to be happy. That was what she repeated over and over again when she was sick. I think if she could see me now, she’d see that I am.

EPILOGUE

Haruki - 33 years old

About a year later

Elsham Cove in August is not as nice as blogs and websites make it out to be. There is no way to sugarcoat it. There are lots of tourists and the weather is too hot. Lucky for our group, we have most of the beach to ourselves. Unlucky for everyone who is a part of today’s celebration, it’s four in the morning right now.

I would have settled for a sunset wedding, but Bryce insisted on having one at the crack of dawn.To be sentimental, he insisted. Everyone lapped up the romance and got over the time they’d need to set on their alarms quickly once Bryce told them the reasoning behind it, Kate and Nick being his biggest champions.

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