Page 52 of Just Try, Again and Again

“I’m glad you have her in your life. She seems like a great friend.”

“So, are you here with the papers?” My words leave my mouth in a whisper. I still don’t know why I’m feeling all of the emotions that are swirling inside me right now. Until I saw him again, Bryce was this thing that I could put in a box and put in the back of my mind, only unpacking it a few times a year on nights when the memories force themselves free.

“Already signed by yours truly. We just need you to sign it.”Stab. Free fall. Gunshot.This is what I wanted. He’s giving me what I was asking for.

Straightening my spine, I summon all the courage inside of me and look him in the eye. “Thank you. I will.”

“We don’t work, Haruki. Not like this. If I had somehow charmed my way back into your life back in Berlin, we might have gotten back together, sure, but we would still be on borrowed time,” he blurts out.Where is this coming from?“You were right. We were doomed from the start. We were two fucking kids with no business getting married. I’ll save my apologies, since I probably sound like a broken radio already. This will be my last. I’m sorry that because I had some things to work through when I was younger, I roped you into my bad decisions.”Stab. Free fall. Gunshot.

“Friends, then?” I ask, giving him one of my fake smiles and willing myself not to cry.

“Friends, huh?” This asshole has the audacity to throw me a grin. “I have no intention of being your friend, Haruki Sano.”Stab. Free fall. Gunshot.Before I throw my stapler at him, Bryce continues. “I want you to divorce me, and then I want to ask you on a date. A second first date. Consider this mykokuhaku.”

“What are you talking about?” I ask with an uncertain smile on my face.

Kokuhakuis a Japanese custom. Before the official relationship stage begins, someone usually will confess their feelings to the other person first, and the other person either accepts or declines the confessor’s intention to date. How Bryce knows this term blows my mind. I feel my cheeks flush, imagining Kate laughing in the back office hearing this.

“We did everything wrong, Haruki. I did everything wrong, and we paid the price for it. I would really like to do it right this time.”

He’s not kidding. He’s dead serious.Every fiber in my body is telling me to say yes to, yet again, another crazy idea from Bryce, but then I’m reminded of the reason why I wanted to get a divorce in the first place.

“Bryce, I’m sorry, but we can’t. Too much time has already passed and we upset both of our dads. So much. Besides, I’m a different person now, and so are you. We both don’t even know if we’re a match.”

“You’re right; we are different people now. That’s why it wouldn’t be right for me to try to keep you in whatever is left of this marriage. It wouldn’t work. I want us to start over again, if you want to, that is.” He looks at me and I can see his jaw tick. “I talked to your dad.”

“Wha—”

“I got his stamp of approval. Ask him yourself,” Bryce says again with a cocky grin on his face. “So what do you say, Haruki Sano? You want to divorce me and go on a date? I have to be back in Berlin tomorrow morning, but I can fly to Copenhagen in two weeks and take you out to dinner.”

46

Bryce - 32 years old

Three days after saying goodbye to Haruki at the coffee shop

Iused to block this city from my map. In fact, I pretended that Osaka didn’t exist. I can’t do that anymore. I won’t.

A few seconds after ringing the bell, I hear the sounds of footsteps on the other side of the door. By the way his lips thin, it’s safe to say that Mr. Sano remembers who I am. He doesn’t say anything; he doesn’t let me, either. He just stands there, his eyes moving from me to the package I’m holding in my hand.

“Good morning, sir,” I say. I don’t bother trying to butter him up with small talk and wits. Haruki’s father is not a fan of mine. I know that much.

“Bryce.” A long pause stretches. He’s probably confused why I’m here. He probably thinks it’s rude that I’m showing up unannounced. But I have no other choice.This is my long shot.“Haruki doesn’t live here anymore,” he finally breaks the silence.

“I know. I was hoping to talk to you, Mr. Sano. Do you have a moment?” Once again, his eyes dart to what I have in my hand. “This is for you, sir. I know it’s customary.” I lift up the present, but he doesn’t take it. He just looks at me like I’m trespassing simply by breathing the same air as him. “It’s a cuckoo clock. I remember you telling me once that your father used to collect them.”

Mr. Sano takes the gift from me and sighs, walking back inside the house. I’m taking the fact the door is not slammed in my face as a sign of invitation to follow him. I’ll take what I can get at this fucking point; this is a win in my books.

“You know where the living room is. Sit. I’ll get us tea.” After a while, Haruki’s dad comes back with a tray. “What is it that you want, Bryce?”

“I would like to apologize.” He crosses his arms over his chest, and I already know that this will not be an easy battle. But I promised myself; whether or not I will get back together with Haruki, I owe this man an apology. At least an explanation.

“For what, exactly?”

I opt for blunt truth. “For punching your nephew. But mostly for marrying your daughter without asking for your permission first. Better late than never.”

Mr. Sano looks at me like he can’t figure out what my end game is. “Do you know, in Japan, before people become an official couple, before they even start seeing each other, usually the man confesses his feelings to the woman first. It’s calledkokuhaku. The man would reveal his feelings and then, if the woman accepts the declaration, the process can start.”

“I did not know that. No.”

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