Page 34 of Just Try, Again and Again

Before I talk myself out of it, I send her a text message.

Haruki, I know we’re hitting the pause button, but I just wanted to let you know that I booked us a trip to Jamaica. It was supposed to be a surprise for spring break. Your birthday present. I’m trying to respect your space, but what should I do with the flight tickets and hotel reservations?

I know exactly what I’m doing. This shit is refundable. The people who drafted the cancellation policy would laugh in my face if they knew this was how I was trying to coax her to talk to me again.

Fifteen minutes go by and there is still no reply from Haruki. I don’t want to torture myself further, so I open the car door and make my way to Cam’s house. To my surprise, Nick Johnson is also here on a skateboard, looking lost, like he doesn’t know where to go.

“Hey, Nick, right?” I call out to him. He stops in his tracks and looks around to see who’s calling him. When he spots me, he looks like he got busted taking a cookie from the cookie jar.

He carries his board and jogs toward me. “Bryce, what are you doing here?”

“I was about to ask you the same thing. I was just about to go see my buddy, Cameron.” I point to the house behind me.

Nick grabs the nape of his neck with his free hand and chuckles. “Funny you say that.” He looks at me, unsure, as if he’s deciding whether I can be trusted or not. “I’m here for a guy named Cameron as well.”

“Oh, you know him?”

“No. Not really. But I want to.” The humorless chuckle reappears. “I, umm, I want to umm…”

I give his shoulder a tap and decide to save this kid the embarrassment. “Nick, relax. I’m not your mother. Are you looking to buy weed, maybe?”He seems the type.

“That would be correct.” He seems relieved that he doesn’t have to spell it out for me. “An old friend of mine buys from Cameron and gave me his phone number, but he said I can just pop by in the summer since Cameron usually just chills on the front lawn.”

Cocking my head to the side, I gesture for him to follow me. “Not today, he’s not. He’s too hungover from the party we went to last night. Come, I’ll introduce you guys. But first, you have to answer a burning question I have.”

“Shoot,” he says, amused, looking me straight in the eye.

“What are your intentions with my sister?”

“Nothing bad. I give you my word.” He lets the next sentence out of his mouth like he’s chewing sandpaper at the same time. “I just want to be her friend.”Yeah right. Not after the ridiculous story I just heard during brunch.

While Nick is talking to Cameron, I check my phone again and see one notification pop up.

Haruki

What’s the cancellation policy? Let’s just turn it into your graduation trip.

My cheeks are hurting from the stupid grin on my face.

Maybe I’ll just go there alone during spring break to check out awesome spots to take you to in the summer :)

Haruki

Sounds like a plan!

Now shoo. Enjoy your last year before I come in full force.

Our time is coming soon. One more school year before my graduation.

30

Haruki - 21 years old

My heart aches. There is no use being in denial, trying to beat around the bush. My heart aches for Bryce. But every idiot in the world knows it—Bryce and I need some space. At the rate we were going, we were about to suffer from relationship exhaustion. Or at least that’s what my brother told me when he asked me why I lack a social life and chug coffee like an alcoholic would vodka. I wouldn’t have outright asked for a break, but hearing about Bryce and that girl snapped something in me. All the frustrations that accumulated over the years, mixed with sadness playing in my head over and over again, came out in full force.

I still don’t know whether it was the right decision or not, since it seems that time spent not waiting up on Bryce is now being spent thinking about Bryce. But I promised myself, as well as Bryce, one whole year to enjoy life as a normal student.

Bryce told me when I broke down and called him three days after asking for the break that, even though it pained him, it was the right decision. He didn’t want me to resent him. I owe this toboth of us, so I’m going to deal with it like a big girl. Besides, who cares about one year when you’re going to have forever, right?

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