Page 19 of Just Try, Again and Again

16

Bryce - 18 years old

It has been over three hours since I left Haruki with her dad, and two since Astrid looked at me smugly, warning me not to concern myself with her parenting decisions ever again. I pace back and forth in the bedroom that’s assigned to me in the manor, my skin hot to the touch from all the fury I feel inside. That woman is the bane of my existence. Her daughter’s, too. What does my dad even see in her? I hope there was an ironclad prenup.

Before I can fantasize about murdering Astrid any further, I hear the door open. My eyes spot the half-black, half-green hair, and I immediately feel a sense of calm washing over me. “You’re still here,” I say. I expected her father to haul her ass directly on a plane and to not find them where I left them, after speaking with Astrid.

She takes off her heels and gives me a small smile. “I’m still here.”

I move on autopilot and take her in my arms. “Are you okay? What did he say? If he’s mad about the money, tell him I’llfucking pay it back. I’m really sorry about Astrid. She’s mad at me.”

Only after my rambling is finished do I see that Haruki is not upset, nor is she sad. She doesn’t look like someone who had just been scolded by her estranged dad for stealing her own college fund to run away from home. Haruki looks at peace.

“My dad is not upset, Bryce,” she says calmly. “I thought he would be, but nope. In fact, he apologized to me.”

“Really?” I cock an eyebrow before intertwining my hand with hers and inviting her to sit on the edge of the bed, the cool night breeze coming in from the opened French doors leading to the balcony.

She nods her head. “He said he was glad that Astrid contacted him. He told me that the last two and a half months have made him think long and hard about how absent he was of a parent ever since my mom died, and how I didn’t deserve how he treated me.”

“That’s amazing.” I swallow the bitterness that’s rising up my throat. Her dad is more of a man than mine, because Arthur Simmons would never do this. Fucking kudos to her father for finally realizing how great his daughter is and stepping up.

“After telling me toneverpull this stunt again,” she says with a small chuckle, “he told me that if I would like to study photography and cinematography instead of becoming a realtor like my brother, he would support it. My dad said that my creative streak and carefree attitude reminded him of Mom, and that’s why he became distant after she died. But he regrets it, and although it was reckless and dangerous, he understands why I felt the need to escape.”

I see it in her eyes. This is not the same lost Haruki that came with me to my fucked-up family’s wedding. This is a new version of Haruki. This Haruki will not be staying with me in Elsham Cove until next week when I move into one of my dad’s condosin Radinger. The thought has crossed my mind that she would be moving in with me, but I can’t let her, and what comes out of her mouth solidifies my decision.

“He told me that I can pay the money back by working for his company part-time until I take the entrance exam for university again and go next year if I get accepted. He told me he’d pay for my tuition if I get in.”

Entrance exam means she’s not here to stay.

Entrance exam means our bubble is about to burst.

“My dad took the whole of September off. He told me he would love to do a road trip with me. My mom’s family is from the West Coast. My mom didn’t have a good relationship with them, but he wants to contact her parents.” When I don’t answer, Haruki fidgets. “Bryce, say something.” Her words come out slow, like she’s scared of how I’m going to react to all of these things she’s spitting out of her mouth.

When we got married, we were two peas in a pod. Two broken souls looking for something to anchor us to each other, afraid that we won’t find the connection ever again, hopeful that there would be something better for us out there if we joined teams. Would she still have said yes if she knew this was going to happen? She married me because she had no one in her corner and had nothing to come back to.

“I’m happy for you,” I say honestly. She doesn’t miss my frustration because she holds my hand tighter. “When are you going back?” I ask, deciding to rip the Band-Aid off.

“I haven’t decided that yet.”

“Does he know about us?” A throaty laugh claws out of me. “Does he know you’re married?”

She shakes her head. “But he knows about you, and he knows how important you are to me.” Haruki looks at me with gentleness in her eyes, as if I’m some wounded bunny she found in the forest. “I don’t want to leave you.”

I kiss the top of her head before bringing our foreheads together. “Haruki, this is all you’ve ever wanted, a loving dad. Him accepting you for who you are. You already know what you need to do.”

“Do you want to get an annulment?”

My head shakes firmly. I know it’s insane, I know it’s selfish, I know it’s ridiculous, but I say it anyway. “Let’s be married for a little while longer. I like being married to you.” I try to make it come off as a joke like I always do, but my heart knows better.This way you won’t leave me so easily.When Haruki doesn’t answer, I throw the question back at her. “Do you want to, though? Still be married to me?”

She gives me a kiss that warms my entire spine. A kiss that feels a lot like being hugged on Sunday morning by my mother. Fuck, I have Mommy issues. “Yes, I do. But are you sure?”

I give her a small, sad, pathetic laugh. “This way you’ll have to deal with a shit ton of paperwork before you can get rid of me. A built-in obstacle that works in my favor.”

17

Haruki - 18 years old

One and a half months later

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