Page 12 of Just Try, Again and Again

“Now, if you’ll excuse us, I need to pack my bags.”

“Nice to meet you again, Ms. Lee,” Haruki says apologetically to Astrid as we make our way to the curved staircase that leads to the second floor where the bedrooms are. The bedrooms that stayed mostly empty for my entire childhood—except for mine.

I pack my suitcase on autopilot, shoving different clothing items into it, while Haruki studies the room I grew up in. She shakes her head and laughs when she sees my bong hidden underneath the bed.

“My other nighttime hobby,” I tell her. I kiss the black part of her hair before I continue speaking. “Sometimes I get bored and lonely, so I just get stoned and watch funny videos.” It’s such a loser thing to admit, but somehow I don’t think she’ll judge me. And she was vulnerable with me, she laid everything bare. Why shouldn’t I do the same?

“I hope you’re not bored and lonely anymore, Bryce.”

“With you?” I loop my arm around her shoulders. “Never.”

We both perk up when we hear the sound of footsteps and something heavy dropping on the floor in the room next door. Haruki and I walk out of my bedroom and spot Lillian sitting on the carpeted floor with a massive duffle bag.

“Hi,” she greets us, wide-eyed, like she’s been caught doing something she’s not supposed to. “I’m really sorry, is this your room? I didn’t mean to invade your privacy any more than we already have.” She stands up to leave, but I stop her, shaking my head and mouthingnah.At least the daughter understands to some level that she’s in my territory.

“I’m next door, but we’re going to leave for vacation soon. You’re good.” My finger points at her duffle bag. “What’s with that? Is it move-in day already?”

“My mom said she wants to have the meetings with the wedding organizers here at your house because your living room is bigger than ours. I figured since I’ll probably be spending a lot of time here, until then, I might as well bring some stuff here to entertain me.” She unzips the bag and shows me her books, laptop, snacks, and a two-piece swimsuit.

“That’s how you’re going to spend the summer holiday?” I can’t help but let out a laugh. “Don’t you have friends?”

I meant that as a joke, a rhetorical question. Guilt jolts inside me once she starts speaking. “I used to,” she admits, not looking me in the eye. “But he moved to Japan over a year ago. We don’t really talk anymore.”

“Where in Japan?” Haruki asks curiously.

“Tokyo,” Lillian answers with a bittersweet smile. “His dad got transferred there for his job.” She looks like she’s about to cry, but then she tucks her side bangs behind her ear and puts on a fake, happy face that can be sensed from a mile away. “Anyway, don’t let me disturb you guys. Like I said, don’t worry. We’re not moving in yet. It’s just so I don’t get bored.”

I can’t believe this.There will be another lonely kid in this house, staring at the blank wall, hoping that their family pays attention to them.

I nod to her and Haruki waves goodbye, pressing her lips together and trying her best to hide the pity that she feels for Lillian. Just as we are about to walk out the door, I twist my body and call out to her, “Hey, Lillian.”

“Yeah?”

“Keep the room.”

“Huh?” She looks at me, confused.

“When youdomove in, pick this room. This one has the nicest balcony out of all of them. And if you do get bored, feel free to raid mine next door. I don’t know if it’s your thing, but I have an Xbox that you can play with. Just, ah, don’t break anything.”

She looks at me, stunned. I don’t wait for her reply and grab Haruki’s hand to walk out the door when Lillian shouts from behind us. “It’s Lily. You can call me Lily.”

“Alright, Lily. See you at the wedding.”

My new stepsister, Lily. I kind of like the sound of that. I always wanted a sibling.

“Hey,” Haruki chimes in. “You only have a few more years left before you become an adult, you know. Have fun and find your own version of freedom. You don’t always have to follow your mom everywhere she goes and listen to her orders. You have to live for yourself.” She winks at Lily.

Lily laughs at what Haruki is saying. “Thanks, maybe I’ll dye my hair green, too.”

I carry my suitcase down the stairs and head to the front door when Astrid’s voice echoes in the high-ceiling living room. “You still need to go with your father to get your suit fitted, Bryce!”

“I’m sure I can just buy one in Honolulu.”

“What about your toast? Your father said you are going to make a toast at the wedding.”

I pinch the bridge of my nose and shake my head. Haruki squeezes my hand, and the gesture calms me down enough for me to not raise my voice. “I’ll write it while I’m there.”

“Are you going to say anything that might embarrass me and your father?” she says, trying to hide her fear.

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