Page 11 of Just Try, Again and Again

“Are you going to come for me?” I nod again, a whimper escaping my mouth this time. And with that, Bryce starts sucking on my clit and thrusting his fingers into me deeper, curving them right at the end and pushing them up. Still pinning his eyes on me, he repeats the motion until my legs stop shaking and I stop calling out his name to the ceiling.

“Time’s up.” Bryce chuckles to himself before slapping both of my thighs. “Alright, I’m gonna go shower now. Do you want to join me?”

Putting on his T-shirt, I shake my head. “I think I’m going to pack my things first. It’s quicker this way.”

The moment the door to the bathroom closes and I hear the water running, I grab my phone from the nightstand and check my messages. He always sends me a text around this time. It’s when he gets home from work.

hayaku katte ki te, Haruki-chan (Come home, Haruki-Chan).That’s what he sent me. I don’t know whether I should laugh or cry.

I feel the tears trickling down my cheeks. He wants me to come back, but does he know that I don’t feel at home there anymore? Osaka hasn’t felt like home ever since my mom died. He and everyone else…they will only see me as the unlovable girl with the weird hair. I have nothing to come home to. He made sure of it. He took every piece my happiness one by one until there was nothing left for me there.How dare he ask me to come home now?

Resentment is slowly building up in my body when Bryce comes out of the bathroom in his briefs with a towel over his shoulder. He runs his hand over his wet hair while walking to a chair with his clothes draping over it, but stands still when he sees me.

“What’s wrong?” he asks in a gentle voice, creases forming on his forehead.

My hands grip the side of the bed as I look down at the floor.Haruki, you have to tell him. This thing that’s going on between you two is getting too serious. It’s not a holiday romance anymore. He needs to know.

“I have to tell you something,” I say through tears.

He takes a seat next to me on the bed and places his hand over mine. “You can tell me anything. You know that, right?”

“It’s bad.”

“What could be so bad, honestly?” he asks with a sympathetic but uncertain smile. “You literally saw me crying in the middle of the night because I missed a woman I don’t even remember. I don’t think you can top that off.”

“It’s equally as bad. If not worse.”

His eyebrows scrunch together. Bryce twists his body so that he can get a better look at me. “Okay, now I’m getting worried. What is it?”

“Bryce, I lied to you.”

“Well, that’s not a good sentence.”

After chewing on my bottom lip until I taste copper, I confess to him, “I’m not here for a gap year. Not really.”

9

Bryce - 18 years old

My eyes zoom in on the woman bossing around three other people in my living room. The wedding organizer and his two employees are jotting down diligently what Astrid is spitting out, not daring to lift the pen off the paper or look straight at her.

“Did the Rasmusen Manor already confirm the date?” Astrid asks the man wearing a dress shirt.

“Ms. Lee,” he says in a diplomatic tone. “The Rasmusen Manor is a popular wedding venue. I think we need to adjust our expectations. If you would like to get married there, a summer date would not be possible.”

Astrid shakes her head and scoffs. “I hired you for a reason. Make it happen. A winter wedding in Elsham Cove would look ridiculous in photos; this is a beach town.”

They all turn their heads toward us when they hear me clearing my throat, making myself known.

“Bryce,” Astrid says in a fake chirpy tone that I have grown to hate with every fiber of my being. “What are you doing here?”

“The last time I checked, I live here. Don’t let me stop you from taking the fucking reins of this house, though. The floor is all yours, Astrid. I’m just here to grab my stuff before I fly out to Hawaii tonight.”

“What do you mean,fly out to Hawaii?” She crosses her arms over her chest. “You’ll be here for the wedding, won’t you?”

“I promised my dad I would come. Haruki and I are going on a trip, but we’ll be back before the wedding.”

Haruki looks at me uncomfortably. I know what she’s thinking. She thinks my coming along with her is my way of avoiding the whole Astrid-Dad mess. Maybe that’s not wrong to a certain extent, but the truth is, I just don’t want to leave her side. I want to be with her all the time, and I want to make sure she’s going to be fine, especially after what she said to me before. She needs me.She might need me more than I need her.

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