Eli had been hit by the scent of dinner the moment he walked through the front door of his house, so he wasn’t at all surprised by his son’s declaration. He allowed Charlie to take him by the hand and lead him back to the dining room, where the table had been set for two.
He looked up at Maddie, who was placing a hot dish on a trivet in the middle of the table. “Only two settings?”
“For the two of you.”
“You’re not joining us?” Eli thought back over the past week. Maybe she hadn’t been given enough time off. He made a mental note to review that with her and see whether a change needed to be made to her working hours — he knew they were long, and he definitely didn’t want to lose another nanny the way he had with Katie.
“I thought the two of you would like the chance to eat dinner together,” Maddie explained.
“No, sit down with us. If you’re only leaving because of that — you put all this work into making dinner. You should get some while it’s hot and fresh. And besides, Charlie wants you here — don’t you, Charlie?”
“Yeah, I do,” Charlie said.
“You guys can tell me all about what you did today,” Eli said.
“You seem calm,” Maddie observed.
“I do?”
“I mean, more so than usual. Usually you seem a little tense when you get home from work. But today you’re more relaxed. I’m guessing it was a good day?”
“It was,” Eli said. “But, you know, I think what you may be picking up on has more to do with the fact that I was expecting it not to be.”
“Really? Why would you expect that?” Maddie hesitated. “I guess I don’t know very much about what it’s like at your job. Maybe difficult days are the norm?”
“Well, they are — but there’s also the fact that I just took a whole day off,” he explained. “I thought I would be playing catch-up all day long. But as it turned out, my team did a great job keeping up with things while I was away. I didn’t have to worry about it at all. Almost everything I’d have done if I had been in the office yesterday was already accomplished, so there was only a little bit of work to catch up on, and then I was able to get into today’s tasks. It wasn’t anywhere near as bad as I thought it would be.”
“You’re saying the place didn’t burn down without you?”
Eli laughed. “I guess it didn’t,” he agreed. “And I guess thatwasthe thing I always worried about. That if I stayed away from work too long, everything would fall apart in my absence. The fact that that didn’t happen made it easier than I thought it would be to come home early today. I thought that was going to be a real hurdle for me, but actually, walking out of the building at five o’clock felt kind of nice.”
“You should be able to do that,” Maddie encouraged. “It’s your company, after all. It’s not as if you have a boss you need to impress. And I’m guessing that a lot of the day-to-day stuff can be delegated to your employees.”
“You’re right. I think I need to work on trusting them more — but they really proved themselves over the past couple of days, so that’s going to get easier for me now.”
“Does that mean you’ll be coming to dinner more often?” Charlie chimed in. “Because I’m afraid Maddie and I might run out of recipes, Dad.”
“I’m not coming for the recipes,” Eli said. “You know, we do still have Hank. He always cooked for us before. I’m sure he’s enjoyed the downtime while you and Maddie have been doing the cooking, but that isn’t really part of Maddie’s job.”
“Actually, Hank has still been doing plenty of cooking,” Maddie said. “Charlie and I seasoned this roast, but Hank did most of the rest of it while we played in the pool, so we can only take partial credit today.”
“Well, whatever share of the credit you take, you did a great job,” Eli told her. “And I’m glad you two got some playtime in.”
In fact, he wished he could have been there for it. Although opportunities to see Maddie in a swimsuit had been a surprisingly common feature of their lives together since they’d met, it wasn’t the kind of thing he could imagine himself ever willingly passing up. Dinner was all well and good, but another day like the one they had spent on the beach was what he really could have used.
And yet, Eli was mindful of the fact that he couldn’t propose that sort of thing too often. If he did, it would start to be obvious that he was just coming up with excuses to get a glimpse. And he shouldn’t even be hopping on those opportunities with as much enthusiasm as he had so far.
He also couldn’t ignore the fact that hedidwant to be with her in this setting. Seeing Maddie’s body was great, it was true, but there was something special about these nights, too.
As he watched, she put some roast on Charlie’s plate. “Napkin in your lap,” she reminded him, and Charlie beamed up at her as he obeyed.
God, what a miracle it was to see him looking up to a woman like that. And how special to see a woman who really seemed to love his son! Those were two things he had never believed he would experience after Fiona had died. Things he’d never believedCharliewould experience.
Sometimes he couldn’t believe that his life had taken the turn it had. Sometimes it felt as though Katie walking out on her position as nanny was the luckiest thing that could possibly have happened to the two of them.
But whenever that feeling struck, Eli forced himself to remember that, for Maddie, this was just a job. Nothing more.She might care about Charlie — in fact, Eli was sure that she did. But that didn’t mean she was a mother figure, or anything close to it, and he could never allow himself to forget it.
Forgetting that she didn’t have feelings for him was foolish, but if he ever let himself think that she might truly love Charlie — beyond the terms of her job — that would be irresponsible, and he would risk letting his son’s heart be broken. That was the one thing Eli could never do.