“You made arisotto?”
“Well, not a very good one.” Maddie grinned sheepishly. “It’s only the third time I’ve ever tried to make risotto.”
“Did Charlie eat that?”
“He did, actually! I think he liked it.”
“I’m surprised. A kid of his age eating something like that, I mean.”
“He’s got an adventurous palate, actually. You didn’t know?”
“I guess I didn’t,” Eli confessed.
Maddie didn’t express any surprise at the fact that he hadn’t known this about his son. Eli supposed she had gotten used to the fact that he didn’t know Charlie as well as he should. In the beginning, a story like this one would have prompted her to give him a strange look, but now she took it in stride. Eli didn’t know whether to feel better or worse about that. It was nice not to be constantly confronted with the fact that he was falling short of what she considered to be good parenting, of course. But on the other hand, it meant that Maddie had come to consider that sort of thing the norm from him. She had stopped looking for more than the bare minimum.
It was strange the way he had found himself wanting to impress her. He wanted to be a good father for Charlie’s sake, of course, but he also wanted Maddie to see him that way. He wanted her to look at him as a good parent, and to admire his relationship with Charlie. Little things like the fact that he didn’t understand his son’s eating habits were a source of embarrassment to him.
“I guess I still thought Charlie’s favorite foods were pizza and hot dogs,” he said.
“Oh, I think those are his favorites,” Maddie laughed. “Yesterday we made macaroni and cheese from a box and had it with tomato soup, and he told me it was the best thing we’ve cooked together so far.”
“Oh yeah?” Eli would keep that in mind. “Maybe we should put more of that box macaroni on the shopping list.”
“That might be a good idea. He loves kid food like that. But he’s also willing to try unfamiliar things, and that’s a little more unique for a kid his age. I guess it comes with the lifestyle he’s had.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, you know.” Maddie bit her lip and looked hesitant.
It was a complicated thing — Eli didn’t want her to feel hesitant to speak up, but at the same time, he was always so charmed when she made that face. It made him want to reach out to her, to reassure her that she didn’t need to feel any hesitation about saying whatever was on her mind. He wanted her to be comfortable talking to him about anything at all.
He waited, hoping that she would get over whatever was giving her pause. Trusting that she would. Maddie was confident and outspoken, and she always seemed to find the strength to say what needed to be said.
And this time, apparently, was no exception. “I just mean that Charlie is a kid who’s been raised with a lot of resources,” she explained. “A lot of opportunity. He’s been exposed to things most kids his age haven’t.”
“Oh, I see.” She was talking about the fact that he had money. No wonder it had made her feel a bit awkward.
“I’m not sure how aware you are about it,” Maddie said. “I’m sure it was the same for you growing up as it is for Charlie now, so you wouldn’t have the context of what a more typical childhood is like. I’m sure you grew up with the same kind of exposure to nice things as Charlie has had. And that’s a good thing,” she added quickly. “This isn’t criticism — of your upbringing or of his.”
“It wasn’t like that for me at all, actually,” Eli said.
“What do you mean?”
“You’re talking as if you’re imagining that my parents had a lot of money when I was growing up, but it wasn’t like that for my family.”
“Oh,” Maddie said. “I’m sorry. I guess I was making an assumption. It’s just a little hard to picture you as middle-class.”
Eli shook his head. “Not middle-class.”
“No?”
Eli took a deep breath in and released it slowly. This was something he tried hard not to think about. It was something he had fought long and hard to leave in the past. He hadn’t spoken aloud about this part of his life in years.
“My father left when I was a baby,” he explained. “I was only a year old — I have no memory of him. My mother raised me on her own. She worked as a waitress — night shifts — so that she could be at home with me during the day.”
“Oh,” Maddie said softly. “I didn’t realize. I guess I thought…”
“You thought I had always had money.”