Page 52 of Having the Time of My Midlife

She kissed my cheek and nodded. “Just gimme a few minutes to get over myself,” she said with a small, embarrassed giggle. “I’ll be right and ready in a hot sec.”

I nodded to my daughter, and we both gave Gram a little space to mourn the loss of what was about to happen. Taking my child’s hand in mine, we walked away to inspect the area.

Again, we were the only live people on the soundstage. However, the bleachers were filled with cardboard cutouts of audience members.

“Umm… is this weird or am I crazy?” Alana Catherine inquired as we stared at the hundred or so women and men with crazed expressions of anticipation and fevered eagerness on their paper faces.

“We’re both crazy, but this is extremely weird,” I acknowledged.

We stood in silence for a long moment and checked out the creepy crowd.

Turning away, I shuddered. “That’s giving me the heebie-jeebies.”

“Word,” my daughter agreed.

Gram was doing jumping jacks to shake it off. The visual made me smile. When we got home—and we were going to get home—she’d be a ghost again. I realized that I hadn’t taken any time to appreciate the good amidst all the scary and bad. I waspretty sure my twenty-year-old daughter would be a baby again and I was missing out on really getting to know this version of her no matter how brief it might be. Granted, we were sort of busy trying to save lives and make sure we didn’t lose our own, but once a moment disappeared it was gone for good.

“I need to live in the now,” I said aloud.

“What?” Alana Catherine asked, confused.

Turning to face her, I cupped her face in my hands. “I want you to know this. I love you. I love you more than I thought it was possible to love anyone. You’re such a gift to me and your dad. He’s completely besotted with you.”

She squinted at me. “Are we getting ready to die or something?”

“I seriously hope not,” I told her with a chuckle. “But if we do, we’ll come back. Nothing stays dead on the Higher Power’s plane.” I paused and tried to find the right words to explain myself. “Our lives are long. Immortals live forever, but forever is too long to grasp. It’s the small exchanges and split seconds of joy that make a life—not the length of it. If we stop acknowledging those moments, then life isn’t worth living. I have no idea what’s about to go down. But my gut tells me that this is the last game. I just need you to know how much you mean to me.”

My little girl, who wasn’t so little, threw herself at me and hugged me hard. The feeling was glorious. I sniffed her head like I did earlier today when she was a baby, and she smelled just as delicious.

“You are so very special, Alana Catherine,” I whispered against her head. “So very loved.”

“So are you,” she replied. “And I love you more.”

I laughed. “Not possible.”

“Is,” she countered.

“Not,” I shot back. “I’d die for you.”

She pulled back and looked me in the eye. “And I’d die for you.”

She was serious. That didn’t sit well. The order was all wrong. “Not happening. Ever.”

She grinned and booped my nose. “That goes both ways, mom. Let’s just try and stay alive. Deal?”

My girl was something else. She was truly far more than any of us knew. “Deal.”

“Alrightyroo,” Gram said, joining us. “How about a little tutorial of the games on the show?”

“Genius,” I said. I was sure that Steve was the prize. There was no losing this round. That was unacceptable.

Gram grabbed our hands and hustled us onto the stage. “You ready?”

“Born that way,” Alana Catherine said with a lopsided grin. “Let’s get this party started.”

I was still amazed at how much my daughter knew and understood. It was like she’d been some kind of omnipresent figure in all of our lives. The feeling was unsettling and worried me, but that conversation would have to wait. Just having her with me was enough. Whoever she was meant to be would emerge eventually. Gideon and I would be by her side every step of the way.

Gram pointed to a large pegged board. It was slanted and had a bunch of pegs arranged in uneven rows. “That right there is called Plinko. You’re gonna get you some chips and drop ‘em down the board from the top. If you drop it down the middle, you’re more likely to win the big cash prizes.”

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