Page 46 of Having the Time of My Midlife

“You gals ready for the second round?” I asked.

“Heck to the no,” Gram said, patting both me and Alana Catherine on our heads. “But that ain’t never stopped me and sure ain’t gonna stop me today!”

Taking my daughter’s hand in mine and Gram’s in the other, we walked together toward the next round.

I spoke the message aloud for all or our benefits. “The game is a riddle. Three must play to win and break the evil spells. The show will go on and the wheels will turn. The answers are questions. The price must be right or the innocent will pay. In the end the choice will be on the strongest. The strongest shall emerge the victor. Anything is possible. You just have to believe. Time is running out.”

“We’ve broken the evil spell,” Alana Catherine said.

“And that there wheel did turn,” Gram said, spitting on the wheel as we passed it.

“Then that means in the next game the answers will be questions,” I said. “Anyone wanna take a guess what the game is?”

Gram gave me a salute. “What isJeopardy?”

I had a feeling she was correct, and I would take the category of “Ready To Kick Ass” for five hundred, Alex.

CHAPTER TWELVE

TheJeopardysoundstageon the Higher Power’s plane was identical to the one on human TV. As expected, there were three contestant podiums on the right side. The host stand was on the left, and the category board was in the middle on the back wall between the two. However, the board was dark, and no categories were listed. There was no audience in the studio like withWheel of Fortune. Not trusting that, I kept my eyes peeled for a new set of armed mammals. I found nothing. The bleachers were empty.

“Jeopardy!”Gram exclaimed. “I love this show.” She was positively giddy, considering the circumstances.

I wasn’t giddy at all. The ‘no category’ and ‘no audience’ thing made me uneasy.

My gaze went to the setup on the empty stage.

“It’s deserted in here,” Alana Catherine pointed out with a small shudder.

“Not for long,” I guessed. “You okay with all the guests inside you?”

She gave me a thumbs up. “Got room for a few more.”

I knew what she was talking about. There were three more of the dead on my porch who hadn’t been accounted for yet—Sister Catherine, Agnes and Steve. Something was gnawing at me. Why weren’t there more? If there was a tear in the Light wouldn’t millions of souls be milling around in confusion? Wouldn’t they have come looking for the Death Counselor? Wait. Not necessarily. Not all souls needed a Death Counselor. Most people didn’t have unfinished business that kept them on the earthly plane after death. But… I’d helped send far more than six people into the Light. And over time, Gram had sent hundreds into the Light. Why hadn’t they all come back?

And where in the hell was the Higher Power? Cecily said she’d seen It immediately. Granted, she hadn’t known it was the Higher Power at first. Had that happened to me as well? I’d be hard-pressed to believe Fake Pat Sajak or Fake Vanna White were the Higher Power. That left the harried assistant whose name I didn’t know. Alana Catherine had been firm in her belief that the woman wasn’t the Higher Power, but if she wasn’t, then who was?

As I wrestled with my thoughts, Gram took my hand in hers and gave it a quick squeeze. “Come on back from where you went, darlin’,” she said. “We need to stay focused on the now. I’m expectin’ Fake Alex Trebek to show up any minute now doin’ the hula in his birthday suit.”

I squeezed back and smiled. “You’re right—although, I really hope he’s not naked.” I looked around again. We were still the only people here. “What should we do while we wait for whatever crazy is headed our way?”

“Welp, I say we keep our minds as sharp as tacks!” Gram said, pushing me over to the podiums. “A little practice never hurt nobody. Alana Catherine, get your cutie patootie over here. We’re gonna bone up.”

“Yikes,” Alana Catherine said as Gram led her to a podium.

“Now, y’all can call me Alexa Trebek!” Gram said with a giggle as she stepped behind the host console. “I’m gonna give out an answer, and you’re gonna give me the question. Got it?”

“Got it,” I told her.

“Alrighty then,” Gram said, clearing her throat. She took her game shows seriously. When she started humming the theme song toJeopardy,I had to groan. The old lady was tone-deaf. When she finished, she took a bow in front of the imaginary audience and then shouted at the top of her lungs—"This isJeopardy!”

Apparently, we were ready to start.

“The answer is… Whale of Fortune,” Gram announced with a mischievous little grin.

“Did you say whale?” I asked, unsure if I’d misheard.

“Daisy,” she admonished me. “That right there would get you disqualified. If you ask a question, it’s gotta be the question to the answer.”

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