Page 25 of Having the Time of My Midlife

“Thank you,” I said to Pandora. “I owe you.”

She paused for a long moment. “No. I owe you. Take care of that baby.”

“I will.”

Cecily gave me a quick hug and wished me luck. Abaddon nodded curtly to all. Pandora was strangely subdued and thoughtful. They joined hands and disappeared in a shimmeringblack and red mist. We stood in silence for a few minutes after they’d disappeared. I wasn’t sure what to make of the last part, but that would be dealt with eventually. Right now, we needed to decipher the clues. From the expression on Gideon’s face, I didn’t think I was going to like the answers.

“Alrighty fuckers,” Candy Vargo announced. “Shit, I mean farkers. Let’s get to work.

And we did.

I was not happy.After going back and forth for an hour, we’d worked out some of the puzzle. The answers were not satisfactory.

“Daisy girl,” Gram said, hovering next to me as I held a still-napping Alana Catherine in my arms. “You need to relax your crack.”

“My crack is fine. It’s my sanity that’s the problem.”

The debate had been heated. My baby had slept through the entire thing. Three meant the past the present and the future. As in Death Counselors—Gram, me and Alana Catherine. The thought of taking my child to the Higher Power’s plane was horrific. Plus, I wasn’t sure logistically how it could be done. If I had to be in a dream state to get there, taking Gram and Alana Catherine didn’t seem possible.

Anything was possible. I just had to believe. Those words, which usually calmed me, made me want to scream right now.

What I didn’t want tobelievewas that I was supposed to put my baby in danger. Gideon was beside himself and had punched a few holes in the walls. If I hadn’t been holding our child, I would have joined him.

“Look at it this way, darlin’,” Gram continued. “Three’s a right powerful number. You, me and that beautiful baby are the past, the present and the future. Kinda like the Holy Trinity of Death Counselors. The Father, the Son and I’m the Holy Ghost.”

I groaned. While my bible knowledge was iffy, I knew about the Father, Son and Holy Ghost. “The genders are wrong,” I pointed out.

“Times, they are a-changin’,” she replied.

The room suddenly darkened. The sun streaming through the windows disappeared. A feeling of dread permeated the air. The four apocalyptic queens jumped to their feet and sprinted to the door in their stilettoes.

Handing Alana Catherine to Gideon I rushed over. “What?” I asked. “What’s going on?”

Dirk took my hand and led me to the front yard. “Look up at that sky, sugar boot,” he whispered.

I did. It looked wrong. Dark clouds rimmed in icy white sat high in the sky. They floated without grace and seemed to be sparring with each other. The wind was scented with something acrid and it grew cold quickly. Checking my watch, I realized it was only six. It shouldn’t be getting dark yet. And it really shouldn’t smell bitter and angry outside. “What is that?”

Wally shook his head and stared at the ominous sky. “Girlfriend, I’m not real sure. It needs to be dealt with, though.”

My frustration was at an all-time high. I hadn’t signed up for all of this world-ending shit, but it just kept landing in my freaking lap. “Is this a warning from the Higher Power?”

Candy Vargo joined the group on the lawn. “Well, fuck a duck,” she grumbled then went into her bossy mode. “Queens, I’m gonna suggest that you fuckers go on back to Kingdom Come and get out of town for a bit.”

“Why?” I demanded. It felt safer with the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse here with us.

“One, cause they ain’t really supposed to be here. It might be their presence that’s pissin’ off the Higher Power. That’s doubtful, though. Two, if Armageddon really is on the way, them boys are the only ones who can help stop it.”

I squinted at her in confusion. “Is that what the bible says?”

She laughed. It was a tinny sound, and her smile didn’t reach her eyes. “Hell to the no. It’s what I say. Fate’s what we make of it.”

Fred mounted his steed and gave me a wistful smile. “I shall miss you, Daisy. No one in all of time has accepted us like you, your family and your friends. It’s been a glorious blip in a long and mundane life.”

Wally and Dirk hugged me and made a Daisy sandwich. It felt wonderful.

“Candy Vargo is correct, dollface. We have to go,” Wally said, kissing my cheek then wiping away the lipstick smear he’d just left. “I shall leave you with this little tale. It might be useful. Many moons ago, I wanted to fit in with the human population and see what all the fuss was about. So, I took a job at a fast-food burger joint in Cleveland. It was so much fun!”

I had no idea where this was going. From the expression on Candy’s face, she didn’t either.

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