Page 33 of Having the Time of My Midlife

Lura Belle jumped right on in. “Jolly Sue, you can shove it up your mangled, clay-brained clotpole. What Dimple did was heroic!”

“I was worried and suggested we wait for y’all, but Dimple wasn’t havin’ none of that,” Gram said, patting Dimple on the head. “That there old gal had big lady balls!”

“And get this,” Jennifer said. “I was in the middle of a hot flash when Dimple dove in and it took it away. I think we could start a business.”

“I think not,” Gideon said, pressing the bridge of his nose. “It would be quite difficult to explain that a ghost was going to fly through you to cool you down. That’s the kind of business that could land you in a psych hold.”

Jennifer nodded as she sipped on her wine. “I can see how that might be weird.”

Weird was an understatement, but something else piqued my interest. “Didn’t it hurt when Dimple flew into you?”

I’d always experienced it as icy daggers stabbing all my internal organs.

“Nope,” Jennifer said. “I loved it! But the real kicker was that Dimple was able to come back out.”

That was incredibly good news. I wasn’t thrilled with the method, but it took some of the weight of what we were about to do off my mind. However, I didn’t understand how it had been painless.

I looked over at Dimple. “What was your method? How did you fly into Jennifer?”

Dimple pursed her cat-butt lips in thought for a moment. “I went into her feet and worked my way up. When I got past her intestines, I settled in under her ribcage. I took a three-minute catnap then left the way I entered.”

“Wonderful,” Lura Belle said, fanning herself. “I’m not fond of intestines—all that lumpish, bugger-mugger mess. I’m quite impressed with your technique, Dimple.”

Dimple took a bow. Mr. Jackson applauded and lost his entire arm.

I looked over at Gram. She was grinning like a fool. I grinned right back. “You heard the ancient coot. I say you go for my feet, old lady.”

“Can do,” Gram said. “Get ready, Daisy girl, I’m a-coming!” Gram flew at my feet then disappeared.

I was shocked into happy silence when I felt no pain. My feeling of gratitude to Jennifer and Dimple was immense. I wasn’t sure how much more pain I could take. The fact that Gram hitched a ride without torture on my end was priceless.

“You in there?” I asked.

Her voice was muffled, but we all could hear her. “Sure am! This is just nuts. It’s cozy in here. Gotta say, I’m as happy as Karen and Donna layin’ on the front porch chewin’ on a big ol’ catfish head.”

I wrinkled my nose. That was gross. Donna and Karen didn’t think so, they barked, wagged their tails then took off through the dog door. I was pretty sure there were no catfish laying around, but at the rate the crazy was going, who knew?

“One thing to remember,” Tim said. “Time runs differently on different planes. You are bound to Alana Catherine for twenty-four hours as we know time. I’d suggest you work with haste once you arrive at the destination.”

I nodded slowly and took that in. Keeping my daughter safe was paramount. I was not going to mess around. “Thank you, Tim.”

“Always, friend,” he replied with a warm smile.

“Are you ready, Daisy?” Gideon asked, still sounding stressed.

Glancing down at Alana Catherine, I smiled. “You ready, baby?”

“Mamamama,” she yelled before she stuck her thumb into her mouth and cuddled close.

“I’m ready too, Daisy girl,” Gram shouted from somewhere in my midsection.

“Then I guess it’s time to go,” I said, reclining back on the couch. “I love everyone in this room. I’m going to do this. I’m going to beat the Higher Power at Its own game.”

“Not alone, you’re not,” Gram added. “That’s why you got me and sweet Alana Catherine.”

“Not alone,” I amended. “And after, I’m coming right back home.” I closed my eyes and then opened them, looking straight at my husband. “And when I get back, we’re going on our damned honeymoon, come hell or high water. You hear me, Reaper?”

“Loud and clear, Counselor. I’ll have you packed and ready,” he replied with a sweet kiss to both me and our child. “You will be cautious. You will be smart. And you will come home to me. Period. Nothing else is acceptable.”

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