Page 63 of Hope's Heartlands

She seems lost in thought. “So, where’s your mom at?”

I clear my throat because of everything that’s happened in my life, the shit with my mom is probably the hardest to handle. “Well, uh, the mc offered her a place to live. They said they’d take care of her and I. She told them no thanks.”

Her eyes widen in disgust. “She left you?”

I laugh. “Well, she didn’t want to. By then, I was making money for her boosting cars, working and giving her my paycheck. No, she wanted me to go with her.”

She leans forward now and I put my hands on the outside of her legs. She looks at my hands and back at me. “What happened then? You’re here... You’re a member of the mc.”

I nod. “Yea, Saint told her I was staying. It was a huge mess, but my mom and dad knew they couldn’t go against the whole club so they left. And before she drove off, my mom told me that I was a waste of a person. She told me that no one would ever love me...”

Emma looks back at me in utter shame. “What? That’s not true, Mad. You know it’s not true, right?”

I shrug indifferent. I like the fact that she used the name she used to call me all the time. She always said it fit because I walked around looking mad all the time. I never told her this, but I walked around that way because I was frustrated. I wanted her and couldn’t have her. When I don’t answer her, she puts one of her hands on my forearm. “Maddox, listen to me, she was wrong.”

She shakes her head, not even comprehending how a mother could say that to her child. I know she’s stunned. “It’s okay, Emma. I’ve been dealing with my demons a long time. It’s messed with my head a lot. Things that have happened in my life, things I’ve wanted... I didn’t think I deserved them. But I’m trying to fix that now.”

She squeezes my arm. “Good, Mad. That’s good. Regardless of everything I know you’re a good man and you deserve whatever it is you want out of life.”

It’s on the tip of my tongue to tell her that she’s the one I want. I want her with my ring on her finger and fuck, the idea of her round with my baby makes my fuckin heart skip a beat. But I can’t say any of those things. Not yet. So instead, I start simple. “Go out with me tonight." She shakes her head and looks across the pool at Carson and her roommate. "I can't. I have two visitors.”

"They can come too," I tell her.

She's quiet for just a minute and then I hear the interest in her voice. "What? You mean like a double date?"

"Yeah, a double date. We can all go together, Emma, but you'll be going as my date," I tell her.

At this point I'm not going to leave anything to chance. There's not going to be any question on how I feel about her.

Chapter11

Emma

Ican't remember ever being this happy but there's a part of me that knows that it's too good to be true. The double date that we went on my second night home was as close to perfect as it could be. I tried to be standoffish and keep my guard up but Maddox broke through it all. We may have only held hands but it was a start. The whole night, he focused on me. Since then, he’s always asking me random questions wanting to know more about me.

Since I got home, Maddox has been sleeping on my family couch. It seems like any spare time we've had, we've been together. Carson and Candace left a couple of days ago to go to Candace's house. She was all excited to introduce Carson to her family. I'm happy for them but I am a little nervous about being along with Maddox.

We have went to the movies. We've eaten out numerous times. We've hung out at the Ride-or-Die bar and when I thought that he would try to hide his attraction towards me, he didn't. He made a point to hold my hand or put his arm around me in front of all of the men of the mc. I’ve waited on Bull to say something about it but he hasn't. There's a thousand times I've almost asked Maddox what's going on between us but I've been too afraid to. I'm leaving tomorrow to go back to school and I would say I don’t want to rock the boat, but honestly, I’m afraid of what his answer will be.

We’re sitting on the couch watching television but I'm not really following what's going on. Maddox has his arm around me and Mom and Bull are at the Ride-or-Die bar. We’ve been doing this charade for at least an hour because I know he’s not watching the movie either.

I look over at him in the dark. The only light is coming from the television and instead of watching it, he's watching me. He brushes the hair off of my face and tucks it behind my ear. He's looking at me as if he's in awe. I lean forward and press my lips to his. The kiss ravages me. It brings to the surface so many memories of that night so long ago. He's holding me tightly against him, his hands stroking up and down my back.

I feel as if I cannot get close enough to him and I climb up on my knees, straddling him on the couch. His hardness is pressed against the core of my body. I shift my hips forwards and backwards, side to side, wanting the friction to build between us. "Please, Maddox," I say.

I'm practically pleading with him to take me. I reach between us and cup his manhood through his jeans. His hips flex, pushing into me. My head falls back and I moan loudly, filling the room with my breathless desire. I reach for the button on his pants and open them, and as soon as I do he freezes underneath of me.

His hands, wrapped tightly around my waist, almost painfully, he lifts me from his lap and sets me next to him on the couch before he jumps up, backing away from the couch. “Fuck!” He all but screams.

I’m trembling, watching him from the couch. Desire is raging through my veins and I don’t know what to make of his outburst. “Come back over here, Mad. Talk to me.”

He looks at me, his nose flared, his arms flexing. I hold my hand out to him but he doesn’t take it. "I can't do this, Emma. I can't."

I open my mouth to argue with him and he's shaking his head. He looks so frustrated, so mad. "I have to go."

Before I can even say a word he's out the door, slamming it shut behind him. I sit here speechless. I refuse to cry. I've been down this road before and I should've known that it would go this way again. I’ve been played... again. Fuck, I’m a fool.

I pull myself together and straighten up the living room. I'm determined to act like nothing happened when Bull and Mom get home. Finally, an hour later I hear the motorcycle pull into the driveway. I paste a smile to my face and greet them as they come in. I set the remote down as if I've been flipping through the channels.

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