Page 55 of Hope's Heartlands

Before I can talk myself out of it, I grab her hand and pull her behind me toward the back exit of the bar. Fuck, even taking her outside like this would have Bull ready to kill me but death doesn’t scare me right now. No, the thought of not knowing what it’s like to kiss Emma does though.

As soon as we get outside, I shut the door behind us and lean her against it. My arms are on each side of her caging her in as if I’m afraid she’s going to change her mind and try to run from me. She’s looking up at me with her big, wide eyes and I’m worried I’m going to scare her. “I’m not gentle, Emma. I don’t know how to be.”

She’s breathless and her voice is husky. “I don’t care.”

She’s staring at my mouth and I lean in until our lips are mere inches apart from each other. Yea, she may have asked for this kiss but I don’t know if she knew exactly what she was asking for because I know once our lips touch, I’ll have trouble keeping it all together. One kiss. She asked for one kiss... her first kiss. I can do that and walk away. Sure, I can.

The more I contemplate it in my head the more I know I’m losing ground. With my hands fisted against the door, I tell myself I’m not going to hold her. I’ll keep my hands on the wall and not touch her. With that decided, I lean the last inch and press my lips to hers. I touch my lips to hers briefly and am about to pull back when she loops her arms around my neck. Her hands go to the back of my head and her nails drag across my scalp. She’s holding me to her like she’d rather do anything than let me go. I take one look into her heavy lidded eyes and I know I can’t resist. Hell, this may be my only chance to have her in my arms and I’m not going to let it go to waste. I touch my mouth to hers again and instantly deepen the kiss. She opens her mouth with a moan and I take full advantage, swiping my tongue along hers.

My hands now have a mind of their own and I pull them off the walls, before stroking them down her back and landing on her sweet ass. I cup each of her cheeks and pull her to me, letting her feel my arousal against her belly. Her hips press into mine and I know she wants more. Fuck, so do I.

I’m going to hell. That’s my first thought as I bring one of my hands up to her breast and cup it. Her nipple is pebbled and hard and tug at it between my thumb and forefinger. Her head falls back and kiss her neck as I slide my hand down between her legs. Her short skirt beckons me and I slide my hand between her thighs. Her panty covered pussy is soaked and I’m about to slide the material to the side when a door slams and there is loud laughter coming from inside.

The sound brings me to my senses and I let Emma go in one quick movement. She looks up at me, stunned and I push my hand through my hair in frustration. Fuck, I could have taken her right now. Two more minutes and I would have been balls deep inside her without a thought. She’s an addiction, I knew that before the kiss but now, there’s no way I’m going to get her out of my head. But along with that, there’s a deep sense of guilt. “Shit, Emma. I’m sorry. Fuck, you wanted a kiss and I maul you.”

She’s speechless. She’s wide-eyed staring at me as if I have three heads. Her lips are swollen, she’s panting as if she’s just ran five miles and she’s not even trying to hide the fact she’s turned on as fuck. I press my hand to my face and shake my head which is a huge mistake because the smell of her pussy is on my hands and she smells fucking perfect.

She takes a step toward me with her hand up. “Maddox.”

I shake my head and take a step back, holding my hands up in front of me to shield her. “No. No, Emma. That shouldn’t have happened. I shouldn’t have touched you. You’re a kid... you’re a virgin for fucksake. What the hell was I thinking?”

Her eyes widen and I can see I’ve hurt her. “I’m not a kid.”

I know it won’t be long before Bulldog or Kate come looking for her. I know I’ve fucked up and I need to make it right. “Look, Emma. Nothing can come of this. Plus, I’m not interested in breaking in any virgins. It was a kiss. You got what you asked for now I need to get back to work.”

She looks at me stunned and I can’t say I blame her. I’ve never talked to her like that. Never. Hell, I’d probably kill someone else for doing it. I stomp off the back porch of the Ride or Die and stalk back toward the garage, avoiding the inside of the bar. I don’t know how I’m going to do it, but I have to avoid her the rest of the summer and then she’ll be at school. Out of sight, out of mind. I take a deep breath, thinking I have a plan in place but I know it’s not going to work. There’s no way I’ll be able to forget how completely in love with Emma I am. Fuck!

Chapter3

Emma

Present Day

Itake the necklace off and stare at the crown charm. I rub my finger across it and get lost in the memory of that day I’ve tried to put out of my head for three years. I can’t stop thinking about it though and even now it causes my heart to race.

If the fact he pushed me away wasn’t enough, the fact that he avoided me the whole summer finally got the point across. He’s not interested in me. Yea, it took me a while to finally get it but it finally clicked when he would literally ignore me any time I was near. I knew my mom and Bull thought something was up, but neither one of them questioned me about it, thank God. I’m sure if they had then, I would have burst into tears because of the unrequited love.

Since the day I left for college, I’ve avoided the Ride or Die bar, the Heartlands Garage and any type of party or club get together because I knew I needed to keep my distance from Maddox. In the beginning, I did it because I didn’t trust myself. I could totally see myself throwing myself at him and begging him to love me. Now, I do it as self preservation. I don’t want to see him with another woman. I definitely don’t want to actually look at him and him see in my eyes that I’m still crazy in love with him.

But it looks like today is my last day of hiding. I’m going home for spring break and my mom has said the club is having me a welcome home party. She doesn’t want to hear any excuses. She’s guilting me, letting me know that my “family” loves me and I’ve not come to see them in forever. Which is a lie. I see her and Bull all the time, but I know what she means. The Heartlands are a tight knit group and I’ve probably offended some of them with my avoidance. I tried to put it off. I had told her in two months, I’d be home for good but she wasn’t having it. The party is tonight.

I had taken college classes in high school and I’ve been able to shorten the length it took me to complete my bachelor degree. Her and Bull are so proud of me for focusing and putting in the work. They act as if I’ve sacrificed a lot to get where I am but the truth is, I didn’t enjoy college life. I avoided dating because I had no interest in it. I wasn’t here to party or have a good time. I wanted to get my degree and be done. I wanted to be home so working hard to get their sooner was no skin off my back.

I take a deep breath and drop the necklace into my jewelry box. I wear my necklace all the time here, but I definitely don’t want Maddox to see me with it. For the sake of my pride, I need for him to think I’m over him.

There’s a knock on my door and I’m ready for a distraction. I walk across the small room and swing it open, leaning on it. “Hey Carson, what’s up? Candace left about an hour ago.”

His shoulders drop. “Oh.”

I shake my head and stand back, waving my arm for him to come in. A part of me feels bad for Carson. He’s been in love with Candace since our freshman year but so far she’s shown no interest in him. “Come on in. I’m getting ready to leave but I have some time.”

I’m not lying. I have plenty of time before I have to leave to make the party but the truth is, I’m procrastinating.Will Maddox be there tonight? The thought hits me and I literally shake my head to make the idea of it go away.It doesn’t matter, Emma. He doesn’t want you.

I swallow down the bile suddenly rising in my throat as Carson throws himself across Candace’s bed. I sit in the chair at my desk and look at him, determined to get my mind off Maddox. “What’s wrong?”

He throws his head back on the pillow and sighs loudly. “Nothing.”

I laugh because this isn’t like Carson. He’s a jock and there’s never any drama with him. We’ve become friends these last three years. Mostly because I feel bad for him and how Candace doesn’t give him the time of day. I kick the edge of the bed. “Whatever. What’s wrong?”

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