Page 4 of Hope's Heartlands

What I do regret is that aside from my brothers, there are precious few who even care to know that I am still alive and kicking. Seeing my closest friends in fulfilling relationships makes it all the more absent from my life.

Fuck it. Some people are meant to be cared about, and with my short temper I’m sure I’m not gonna find someone to truly be there for the likes of me. If anything, prison made me more of an ass. More withdrawn and temperamental. No one could put up with me then, and they sure as hell wouldn’t be able to deal with me now.

Cat appears to be unattached and I can’t stop looking at her. I’ve waited all night to see if one of my brothers had an interest in her. But besides the one fuck that I had to run off, all my brothers have left her alone. I know she’s avoided me most of the night. The few times she’s allowed herself to look at me, I was staring at her and I have to admit, I enjoyed watching her face light up and turn red. Every time she would act like she didn’t see me nod at her and she would turn her head away quickly.

I make my way over to the bar and she’s still working, cleaning up, but she starts to fidget when I get close to her. “It’s time for your break,” I say to her. “You haven’t taken one all night.”

She just shakes her head and laughs. “You don’t know if I’ve taken a break or not.”

My voice doesn’t waver and I don’t hesitate. “Besides the three-minute break you took at eleven o’clock to go to the ladies room, you haven’t.”

Her mouth drops.Yeah baby, I’ve been watching you. I know it and now she knows it too. She seems skittish, nervous even, which surprises me because usually a bartender is feisty and used to advances from men.

When she doesn’t seem to be giving in, I soften my voice and smile at her. “Just a dance, that’s it.”

She looks over at Stella, another bartender, and Stella waves her off.

Cat seems to like my smile because finally she agrees to a dance. I lead her out to the dance floor and the need to protect her fills me. She’s small, compared to me anyway. She’s a bigger girl, with wide hips and large breasts, but standing next to me, she seems tiny and petite. My hand is on the small of her back and I lead her across the dance floor and don’t stop until I get her to the other side, away from most of the drunks and the prying eyes of the few brothers still here.

When I can’t wait any longer, I put my hands on her hips and pull her against me. Her curvy body fits perfectly against mine and I have to take deep, calming breaths to control my reaction to her. The feel of the sexy as fuck woman in my arms is like nothing I’ve ever experienced before. Holding Cat is like holding a lightning rod, but instead of being electrocuted, I’m being funneled energy, passion and awareness.

If she were a club sweettart like Barbie, I’d hike her legs up around my waist and fuck her right on the dance floor. But I know she’s so much more than that. She is exactly what I need, what I’ve been searching for, fuck, what I’ve been praying for these last four years.

I brush her hair back, exposing the long base of her neck. The music is low, playing some slow seventies rock ballad. “Tell me about you, Cat.”

She’s looking to the side. I can barely hear her when she whispers, “There’s not much to tell.”

I tip her chin, wanting her eyes on me. She doesn’t fight me on it. She raises her brown eyes up to me and I could get lost in their depths. “Who hurt you?”

I know I should ease into it, but I can’t. I have to know. Her body freezes against mine. I know I’ve pushed too far, I’m asking too much, but when Gage told me about how Ranger found her I knew I wouldn’t be able to rest until I got the truth. Who do I need to hurt for hurting her? I force myself to relax, not wanting to push her away. “Gage. Gage told me and I know it’s none of my business, but I need to know, who hurt you? Who left you for dead?”

She stops moving, but at least she doesn’t pull from my arms. I tighten my hold on her and wait for the tears to come, but they don’t, making me realize my girl is tougher than she looks. My girl. Where the hell did that come from? I never thought I’d be the guy that would want to settle down, but now, looking at Cat, that’s all I can think about.

She just shrugs her shoulders and starts swaying to the music again. She’s quiet for so long I wonder if she’s going to answer. When she does, it’s soft and there’s so much hurt in her voice, almost like she’s wounded on the inside. “It doesn’t matter. It’s done. It’s over.”

Giving in, not wanting to upset her anymore, I leave the subject alone except to say, “And he won’t hurt you again.”

She smirks like someone that’s lived the cold hard truth of life. “You don’t know that.” Her eyes get a vacant look and I know she’s thinking back to something painful.

I brush my thumb across the soft skin of her cheek before grabbing behind her neck and pushing her to look at me. “I promise you that.”

She’s looking up at me so intently, as if trying to find out if I’m the man I seem to be. I know she don’t trust me and she doesn’t trust this connection between the two of us. But it’s there and I know that no matter how I try to tamp it down or ignore it, it’s still going to be there. I have to have her.

Chapter5

Cat

Ilove the feel of his hands on my waist and lower back. I can’t believe that I’ve so easily forgotten that I’ve sworn off getting involved with men after all the shit I’ve been through. With his sweet touches and full promises, I know I need to distance myself. When I’m able to get a few clear thoughts breaking through the haze, I know I’ve got to back off and get away from Saint. He’s sexy, funny, strong, and intoxicating. He’s the kind of guy that just one night with him would not be enough. I would never get enough of him; he’s that potent. No wonder Barbie was like a squeak toy in a Chihuahua’s mouth about Saint returning. I get it now. If he affects me like this, even though I’ve sworn to not get close, I can imagine what it does to a normal woman that’s looking for a man.

We’re still slow dancing and I’m looking for a way to escape. I know I need to, but it’s also hard to pull away from him. Being held against him with his arms around me makes me feel things that I haven’t felt in a long time. Heck, it makes me feel things I’ve never even felt before. I burrow into him, seeking the safety in his arms. I keep telling myself one more minute, just one more minute in his arms and then I’ll walk away.

He bends down then, his mouth next to my ear. “Where are you going after the bar closes?”

A part of me misses the old Cat. Before, if I felt like this with someone, which I’ve never felt before, but if I did, I would have asked him back to my apartment upstairs. But now the new Cat knows that’s not an option. I don’t know him, and even though he doesn’t seem like the violent type, I’m still not going to chance it. I can’t allow myself to sleep with him—heck, I shouldn’t even be dancing with him.

Instead of answering him, I smile up at him. “What about Barbie? She’s a friend of mine, you know.” I figure if I can get his mind off me and on Barbie, I can find my opening to walk away.

He laughs and the rumble of his chest vibrates against me. “Barbie’s a floater, bouncing from one biker to another.”

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