Page 8 of Beyond Reason

I start to fiddle with the ring on my finger. “You’re right. We shouldn’t make any decisions right now. I should let you rest. Are you hungry? Can I bring you a sandwich or anything?”

Instead of answering me, he points at my finger. “You’re still wearing your ring.”

I look at my hand and hold it up. “You mean my wedding ring? Of course, I’m still wearing it.”

He takes a step toward me. “So you’ve worn it the last seven years?”

He’s staring at me as if he’s anxious to hear my answer. “Of course. Since the day you put it on my finger, I’ve worn it. Well, except the time I hit my hand with a hammer and it was starting to swell so I took it off, but that was just for a few days.”

By the time I’ve finished talking, Grant has moved toward me and grabbed my hand and is now holding it up to inspect it. He strokes his finger along it and stares at my ring, and that’s when I notice it. I don’t even try to hold back my gasp. “You uh, you have your ring on too.”

He nods his head. “Yeah, I haven’t taken it off either. Can I ask you something, Jane?”

I nod my head, and he asks something I never thought my husband would ask me. “Have you been dating?”

I jerk my hand away from him and step back. Stunned, I shake my head. “Really? I know we don’t know each other well, but surely you know me well enough to know that I wouldn’t cheat on you. You’re my husband…”

When my voice trails off, he holds his hands up. “I know. I know. But this really isn’t a conventional marriage, and it’s been seven years. I just thought…”

Pain like nothing I’ve felt before crushes in my chest. “Wait… so you’re saying...”

I stop, clutch my hand to my chest, and start to walk toward the bedroom door. I know I’m being ridiculous. He’s right. We’ve been married seven years, and besides the brief kiss he gave me in front of the justice of the peace, we’ve had literally no intimacy whatsoever. I can’t hide the hurt, so walking away is the only option. I was a fool.

“Jane, stop. Where are you going?”

Without looking at him, I say, “I’m going to let you rest.”

His hand goes to my shoulder, and he stops me from leaving. “Look at me.”

CHAPTER5

GRANT

This is going too fast,but I see no way in slowing it down. I thought I’d have days to get myself together, but already I can see everything coming to a head. I shouldn’t have asked, but I also knew that the first opening I had, I wouldn’t be able to stop myself. This has been on my mind for the last seven years, and I haven't had the balls to ask her before now. And now she’s telling me that since the day we said I do, she hasn’t been with another man.

She doesn’t turn to look at me, but at least she’s no longer trying to escape. My voice is husky and filled with emotion. “Honey.”

I move to stand beside her. “Look at me.”

She raises her head and looks at me through hooded eyes. It takes everything in me to not lean down and kiss her. “Tell me what you’re thinking.”

She shakes her head, but it doesn’t hide the pain reflected back at me in her eyes. “It doesn’t matter, Grant.”

I put my finger on her chin and tilt it up. “Everything about you matters. Tell me what’s wrong.”

She takes a step back and puts distance between us. “It’s nothing.”

I give her a soft smile. “Can I talk to you for a minute?”

She nods, and I look back at the bed. Talking here is probably not a good idea, so I point down the hallway. “Want to talk in the living room?”

She nods and disappears out the door. I follow behind her, and when she sits down on the couch, I sit on the coffee table in front of her. She has her hands held together in front of her, and she’s staring at her fingers.

I wrap both of my hands around hers. “When we got married seven years ago, I didn’t really think things through…”

She tenses and tries to pull from me, but I’m not letting her go. “No, listen to me, Jane. Let me just get this out.”

She nods her head, and I start to ramble. “I married you because I couldn’t leave you. Your brother was my best friend, but it’s more than that. I wanted—I needed—to know you were going to be okay. I thought I could leave you here in my house and go on about my life, but I couldn’t. You’re all I’ve thought about.”

---