Page 11 of Claiming Jane

He’s screaming at this point, and I can’t stand to see him like this. The guttural sounds coming from him are a man in pain, and I can’t just stand by. I put my hands on his shoulders. “Grant!”

It all happens in an instant. I’m on my back on the bed and he’s hovering over me, his hand around my neck.

He’s covered in sweat, eyes bulging and muscles straining. I grip on to his hands, trying to get him to let go.

When he finally realizes what he’s doing, he’s off the bed and across the room staring at me as if I have three heads.

I gasp for breath as tears stream down my face.

“Jane.”

I hold my hand up to stop him, and he shrinks into himself. As he turns away from me, he says, “Leave. Please go.”

I sit up on the edge of the bed. Panting, I tell him, “Grant, it’s okay….”

He has his arms crossed over his shoulders, and he’s staring at the wall. He doesn’t even sound like himself. “Please, Jane. Please go.”

I get up and slowly walk out of the room. When I get to the hallway, I run the rest of the way to my room as my tears continue to flow.

Sitting in the middle of my bed with my legs drawn up under me, I let it out. I’m crying so hard I don’t even hear Grant come into the room until I feel the bed shift under his weight.

“I’m so sorry, Jane.”

I gasp and raise my head to look at him. “You’re sorry? I’m the one that’s sorry.”

He’s shaking his head and looking at me with a tormented look on his face. “You have nothing to be sorry for.” He takes a deep breath. “Let me look at you.”

I shake my head. “I’m fine.”

“Please,” he says.

I lift my chin up and move my head side to side. “I’m fine.”

He puts his hands on my shoulders and surveys my neck. His voice is deep and thick with emotion. “I hurt you.”

I try to pull away, but he doesn’t let go. “You didn’t hurt me.”

His thumb trails over my skin, and I can feel goosebumps forming on my arms. When he leans in, I suck in a breath as his lips touch my neck. “Fuck, I’m so sorry, Jane. I wouldn’t hurt you for anything.”

“I know that.”

He leans back and searches my eyes. “I should have talked to you about this. I’ve been having nightmares.”

I put my hand on his knee between us. “Oh Grant, I’m—”

He interrupts me. “I’ve talked to a therapist, and I’m working on it, but I need you to do something for me.”

I nod my head. “Anything.”

His hands go to the sides of my neck, and he’s looking at me intensely. “When I’m having a nightmare, don’t wake me up. Just leave me alone.”

I shake my head. “No, I can’t do that. Grant, you were screaming like someone was torturing you. I can’t just stand by while—”

He interrupts me. “You have to. I don’t want to hurt you, and when I’m like that, I don’t know what I’m doing.”

I let my hands slide up his chest, and the muscles under my palms contract. “I’m sorry. You can ask me anything, but I won’t just leave you to suffer. I can’t.”

He leans his forehead against mine. “Baby…”

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