Page 48 of It Just Feels Right

I nod. “Yeah.”

He puts his hand on my shoulder. “He’s going to be okay. He’ll probably be doing better when he finds out you’re here.”

All I can do is nod my head. Ryan puts his arm around my shoulder. “Now we wait. Let’s have a seat.”

We sit down in the closest seats, and I stare at the door that leads to the back. Ryan grabs my hand. “He’s going to be okay, honey. He’s strong.”

I suck back a sob. I’m barely holding on. I felt like I had to be strong to get us here, and now I just feel completely numb. “I broke up with Baker.”

I don’t know why I admit it. I’m not sure what all Ryan knows about Baker and me, but I’m sure he figured something was going on.

He holds my hand. “I figured something happened when he pulled out of the house yesterday. Needless to say, he wasn’t happy.”

When I don’t say anything, he asks, “Why did you break up with him?”

Still staring at the door that leads to the back, I mumble, “Because he would break up with me anyway. When he finds out what a mess I am, he’ll dump me. He’s my stepbrother, and Mom said I was ruining the family—”

He cuts me off by leaning in, putting his shoulder against mine. “You love him, don’t you? And it scares the hell out of you?”

The tears start to fall, and no matter how much I wipe at them and try to get a hold of myself, I can’t stop crying. “I do. I love him.”

He reaches over and puts his arm around my shoulder. “Then you’ll make it work.”

I blink, and more tears roll down my cheeks. I give up trying to stop them and just give in to the fact that I’m going to cry. At least until I see Baker with myown eyes and know he’s okay. “But you and Mom… he’s my stepbrother and I don’t want—”

He cuts me off, and there’s nothing but compassion in his voice. “Oh, Cassie, how long have you had to take care of everyone else? You just need to focus on you and what you want. Do what makes you happy.”

“What if—?” I start.

He shakes his head. “Honey, I know it’s scary. Trusting someone else with your heart is probably one of the hardest things you’ll ever do. But I’ll tell you this: You’ll regret it if you don’t try.”

I don’t want to say it, but I’ve thought it the whole night. I royally messed up last night, and who knows what Baker’s thinking now? “What if he changed his mind? What if he’s decided I’m not worth it?”

I barely get the words out and the door to the back opens. Every man and woman in blue rise to their feet, and I stand up with Ryan’s help.

“Family of Baker Johnson?”

Ryan looks around the room. “It’s us. All of us.”

The surgeon nods his head and takes his hat off. He’s grim and straight to the point. “The surgery wassuccessful. He’ll have to stay for a day or two, and when he goes home he’ll need to be monitored. Our worries now are infection and the concussion.”

He drones on about the ins and outs of the surgery, and I know I should be paying better attention, but the only thing I need right now is to see him. I have to get to wherever he is.

I interrupt the doctor. “Can we see him now?”

He looks around the room and then back at Ryan and me. “Yes, two of you can go back at a time. He’s going to be groggy.” He points to the doors. “Down the hall. Room 117.”

I start walking, and Ryan stays right beside me. I hear the doctor talking to the other police officers, but once the door closes behind us, the only sounds are the beeps of machines as we pass by rooms. When we get to 117, I stop and shudder a breath. Ryan gently shoves me toward the door. “Go on, sweetie. I’m going to give you a few minutes.”

I shake my head. “No, he’ll want to see you.”

He nods knowingly. “And he will, but trust me. More than anything, he’ll want to see you right now.”

I push through the door, and the sight of him brings tears to my eyes again. He’s hooked up to all kinds ofmachines, and he’s so pale I hold my hand to my mouth to silence my whimper. He’s asleep, and I’m not going to wake him up. I open the door a crack and wave for Ryan to come in. “He’s asleep.”

Ryan sits down in one of the chairs, and I move across the room and lean against the wall. I watch Baker closely, counting between breaths, watching his chest rise and fall. I can’t take my eyes off him.

When he stirs in his sleep and moans, I move to his side. I lay my hand on his just because I have to touch him. I need to have my hands on him.

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