Page 93 of Go Cook Yourself

“None. You said you needed to do that competition, and I didn’t want to stop you from doing something important. I was going to tell you what he was like after the competition,” I bluster.

“But what if that had been too late? He could have ruined my reputation by then or stolen my ideas,” she hits back.

I hold my hands out. “I didn’t think he’d treat you like he treated me.” My voice loses power with every word I speak.

“Why?”

I can’t find my words. I can’t explain myself when I’m faced with all this emotion. This is the side of families I can’t do. “Because.”

“You’re no different than Neil,” she snarls. “Garett, you lied to me daily and set me up for this. Is Clive the real reason you’re leaving the cookery school? Now you’ve got your dog, you can leave and work at that restaurant in Ireland.” There’s a series of gasps, but my focus fixes on the woman I love, throwing every ounce of her anger at me. And I deserve it because I lied to her repeatedly.

“It’s not like that. You know how I feel about you,” I whisper, because even after everything, I don’t want her family to know about us.

“I don’t know anything anymore. You’ve been lying to me for weeks,” she replies under her breath. “I thought we had something special.”

“We did.” I hold my hand out to her.

“You meant everything to…” Ruby looks at her family, who stare at us like we’re a rowdy couple from reality television. They look around the room as if they hadn’t been staring at us the whole time. She squeezes her eyes tightly shut and shakes herhead. Her voice drops, and my heart breaks. “It doesn’t matter. I was wrong. Please leave. I can’t do this anymore.”

I pull my hand back, and it hangs loose at my side.

“I’ll never forget you,” I whisper so quietly that I’m not even sure she hears.

No one looks at me. Ruby is right about everything. I don’t deserve this family because I’ve lied to them, too. They welcomed me in, and now I’m ditching them, but more than that, I don’t deserve Ruby. I thought I was protecting her, but I was taking away her chance to decide about Clive and the competition for herself.

When I turn, Cookie and Flora try to follow me. “You two stay. This is your family, not mine.”

“No, I’m coming with you, Garett. You’re my family.” Everyone else is speechless.

“Please stay. I can’t take Cookie yet, and he needs to have you close when I’m gone.” And Flora will need these people once I’m gone. As much as Ruby hates me, I’m certain that Amber and Kath don’t hate me, and the others might not eventually.

“I’ll bring the van back tomorrow,” I say to Amber. “Thank you for everything.”

And with that, I stumble to the van. A forlorn Flora stares at me from the door, Cookie in her arms, as I drive out of the car park. The rest of the family haven’t come to wave me goodbye. I don’t deserve it anyway.

It’s time to pack because Ireland is the only place that will have me now.

Chapter Forty-Six

Ruby

The lump in my throat won’t go away even as I swallow chunks of Christmas dinner. It probably tastes heavenly to everyone else at the table. I glance up and find everyone except Flora sending me daggers. She’s too busy sliding little bits of food under the table for Cookie.

“What?” I say to the table. “Why are you all glaring at me? He was the one who lied, yet you’re all on his side.”

“Because you told him how important the competition was to you,” Amber replies. “Because you made out that you needed to do this competition no matter what.”

“And he’s helped you by teaching you techniques every night when he should have earned more money, but he didn’t.” I’m taken aback by Kath, who delivers the explanation so softly that I question what I’ve heard. When I left the family for Neil and only came back briefly for my grandparents’ funeral, she never told me I was wrong. “He knew that whatever he taught you could be stolen, but he did it because he wanted you to win.”

“For Amber. Yes, I was doing it to start my own business one day, but Amber and Kalen need the money for the twins.” I’m doubling down and not accepting responsibility like a petulant child.

“No, we don’t,” Kalen replies. He turns to Amber. “We don’t need it for the twins, do we? You know I’ve got enough, baby.”

“Of course I know that. I’m the one who manages our finances. You’ve earned enough, and the cookery school is booming, thanks to Garett, Ruby, and Kath,” she replies. Wicksy clears his throat noisily. “Sure, you too, Wicksy. We’re good for money.”

“But I heard you talking about needing money,” I say.

“That’s not what you think. That’s—”

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