Page 69 of Go Cook Yourself

“Best get to the demonstration counter,” Kath says. “We’ll get started.”

My feet hesitate.

“You weren’t on the list of attendees,” Ruby stutters. “Neither of you.”

“We didn’t think you’d be here if we signed up as ourselves,” the woman states. Her PVC dress makes the sound of little farts as she nears Ruby. “And when you ignored my calls, we decided this would be the best way to apologise. And ask for your consent.”

She practically gags at the word. “My consent?”

I’m at my demonstration counter as per Kath’s instruction. All of the action continues in the doorway. Kath directs the rest of the students to aprons, but everyone looks warily at the reality television–style conversation.

Ruby’s shoulders are stiff. From my angle, her eyes blaze as the woman waves her hand.

“Viv and I are getting married,” Neil says.

I wait for tears or shouts. Instead, Ruby turns to the counters and the other students and says, “Right. Are you all ready for a fun evening? The great Chef Garett will start by making mince pies. We’ve got Christmas music, wreath making, mulled wine, and massive smiles. Let’s get our jingle bells on!”

I recognise the strain on her face, but spying the excited faces of the other students, it’s clear they’re oblivious.

Viv and Neil stare dumbfounded at each other. They may not have devil horns, but they’re the epitome of villains to me. They hurt the woman I care about.

“Get your aprons on, then,” Ruby hisses to them before walking around the room.

“Are you okay?” I ask as she nears me, but she dismisses my question with a wave of her hand.

“Neil thinks we’re together, remember?” Her eyes flicker up to mine. “Screw our rules. Play along with me, please?”

I lock eyes with her. She nibbles her lip, and her hand trembles as she pushes back the strands of hair that have escaped her bun. I grip her waist and dip her as I plant a kiss onher lips that’s like something from forties Hollywood. It’s chaste but with promise.

She’s breathless as I let her go.

“Sorry, everyone.” I point up at the mistletoe that Kath added earlier. “When your girlfriend looks like this and makes demands, you have to comply, especially when there’s mistletoe. Who’s ready to make mince pies and find love this Christmas?”

A cheer fills the room, led by Kath. The only quiet ones are Flora and Wicksy, whose mouths are practically on the floor, and Neil and Viv, who glare at us.

???

If Ruby thought the flirting would be subtle, then tonight’s a revelation for her. I enjoyed myself once I’d confirmed with Kath, Wicksy, and Flora that we were faking our relationship because of Neil and Viv. She’ll never be my girlfriend, so I’ve made the most of it and given her the whole Garett boyfriend experience.

During the cooking, I’d find ways to touch and tease her. When I told the class that the pastry needed to be soft like butter, I compared it to Ruby’s lips on a warm day. There were sighs from all the ladies, especially when I added that I wrote a message when I first asked Ruby on a date and placed it in Ruby’s favourite pie in a heart-shaped crust.

It was fun to cook with her, getting her to demonstrate how to roll the pastry and then telling the group that Ruby was a fantastic baker who’d taught me a lot of skills, too. I was talking about baking, but when one of the ladies giggled, I may have winked and added, “Lots of skills there, too. The person who let her go must be the biggest idiot.”

That earned me a grunt from Neil, much to my delight.

I’ve called her nicknames like sweet cheeks and floury buns and threw in the odd cutie pie.

But now it’s time to excel and join the wreath making. The sofa bed is decorated with tartan Christmas blankets, but all I see is Ruby and me chatting and kissing on it.

“Old Garett never would have done wreath making, you know,” Flora whispers as I reach the top of the stairs.

When the teams in my restaurants enjoyed Christmas activities or Easter egg hunts or went out for Halloween, I’d continue working or go home early to focus on menu planning.

I shush Flora, whispering, “It’s all an act.”

Flora tips her head. “I’m calling you Timothée Chalamet from now on.”

I let her comment roll off my shoulders. I'm here to make Neil feel like crap for how he hurt Ruby. There’s something irresistible about spending time with Ruby, especially making her do that unimpressed laugh or grumpy face when no one’s looking because I’ve pushed it too far. It doesn’t mean anything more than that.

---