Page 100 of Go Cook Yourself

Garett stares at me, but I pretend not to notice. Clive can’t guess that there’s something between Garett and me.

Clive joins Barry Barringer, a baking YouTuber with a massive following, in front of the camera. They’re both leading the show today. Barry updates the viewers that there are two minutes to go before the timer is up.

Clive sneers. “Cooking fans at home, we have a former chef in our midst. This fool used to work for me.”

I bite my tongue, although the voice in my head screams,With. He worked with you. You’re nothing compared to him.Instead, I finish the flowers on my cake.

Clive instructs the cameraman to focus on where Garett sits. He’s between my mum and Amber, as planned. Clive wouldn’t humiliate a pregnant woman on screen. “Look at this guy, cookery fans, it’s like he’s got a bouncer on either side of him, although those aren’t bouncers but the people who own the Cloud Cookery School here in the Cotswolds. The man you’re looking at is Garett Kelsey. He’ll have you believe he’s a chef withgreat skill, but he’s a fraud, which is why no one but these two will employ him.”

I taste blood from biting my lip. He’s publicly ridiculing my family. But instead of shying away, my mum and sister wave. My whole family are waving until the camera pans away. My mum sticks up her middle finger at Clive.

My dad tries to lower my mum’s still high finger, but she slaps him away as Garett stares at them, wide-eyed. Kath chuckles.

“Time’s up,” Clive hollers, “all of you. We don’t want any cheating here.” He points at me. I duck my head as if embarrassed, but I don’t really care because it means my mum has got to him.

One by one, the contestants go to the table where Barry stands next to Clive. The piece of shit sits on a goddamn throne. How does his giant head fit through any doorway?

Every contestant receives insults hidden behind faux recommendations for improvement. He flirts pitifully with the younger women and asks the better cooks what ingredients they used or techniques they employed. He’ll steal their ideas like he stole Garett’s.

We’re on the last but one contestant. I’m last, which was carefully engineered by Jem. He used to date one of the staff members on the show, and they owed him a favour.

The contestant Clive judges dramatically throws her hands in the air before shimmying to the camera. I wouldn’t have expected any less of Betty. Our friendship has come a long way since I stabbed myself in front of her in my first cookery class. Now, she and Kath meet fortnightly for coffee and to share baking ideas. Kath has primed her to lay the compliments on thick to lower Clive’s guard. She’ll be a great addition to the Cloud restaurant, cookery school, and treats businesses. I can’t wait to offer her a job on the team.

Betty trips and “accidentally” drops her cake into Clive’s lap. Barry laughs awkwardly as Clive jumps up, barely holding onto his anger in front of the camera. Amidst the commotion, Dad walks Garett down to wait in the wings with Jem and the floor manager, and I swap my apron for the one I’ve hidden in my ingredients basket. This whole thing is unnecessarily complicated, but I needed to ensure all my family had a role in the plan, or they’d try to get involved and mess it up. Wicksy’s job was to smile throughout the whole thing, and he’s doing brilliantly, bless him.

Based on my performance, Clive presumes I’m stupid and lacking confidence. I tiptoe to his throne in my special apron with Clive’s branding on a Velcro patch. Later, I’ll remove it to reveal the Cloud Cookery School logo emblazoned on the front. Kath stayed up all night to make me a special one.

“Right. Ruby Cloud, it’s your turn to wow me, although, with your pedantry techniques, it’s unlikely,” Clive says. He creepily keeps using my full name, but I’ve never been more proud to be a Cloud, so although I drop my head in a fake demonstration of my shyness, my heart jumps.

I glance briefly in the wings. Garett grinds his teeth, and Dad chats to him like he’s coaching a football team. I falter and nearly trip, which isn’t part of the plan. Seeing him properly for the first time since I raged at him hits me hard. I love Garett. I actually love him. When I look at Garett, I want to run into his arms and tell him about the plans for today and the future. I want to make him smile and bring that joy he needs. I want to get that ice cream middle out of him. I want to hear how he says my name and all the faces he makes when he does. I want him to know I love him.

Get it together, Ruby. This isn’t the time.

Clive cuts a massive slice of my tiered cake, and Barry commentates. Garett furrows his brow. This isn’t what we agreed on me baking for the competition.

It’s a simple cake with a basic frosting, although I’ve decorated the hell of it so that Clive doesn’t clock that I’m deceiving him. He must eat the sponge.

He shoves his fork into the sponge. “I expected better from you, missy, although I’m not sure why, as you’re from the Cloud Cookery School.” He laughs to himself. My red face is from anger, not shame.

He lifts his fork closer to his mouth.That’s right, take a big fucking bite, you bastard.He shoves the chunk of cake into his mouth.

Choke on it.

And then he does.

Chapter Fifty

Ruby

Clive coughs, splutters, and shouts all at once. I cover my face as if I’m shocked, but it’s to prevent me from revealing my smile.

“Oh my god, are you okay?” I squeal, my body trembling.

He gulps down water. His face is bright red, and his eyes bore into me, but he can’t get under my flesh, although my petrified stare suggests otherwise. “What did you do to that cake?”

I know his reactions before he does. The first is shock about how gross the cake tastes, but I’m holding out for the second reaction.

He gags, and I shake violently as if I put my heart and soul into every crumb. Technically, I put my love for Garett into it.

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