Page 8 of But I'm Still Standing

“If you’re not the bad guy, then who is?” I ask as I take a bite of the bacon egg and cheese waffle sandwich I made. “Pass the syrup, please,” I say with my mouth full. My eyes roll in the back of my head at the flavors that hit my tastebuds.

Max laughs a genuine laugh, putting the syrup in a small bowl for me to dip my sandwich. “Oh my God, do you know what the best thing in the world would be for lunch?” I moan as I take another bite dipped in the maple syrup. I lick my fingers, making sure I get all the stickiness off.

“What would that be?” he asks, watching me like I’m the most amusing thing he has ever seen.

“Hear me out. French dip and Swiss cheese debris po boy with pickles and remoulade sauce on the side. Oh, and curly fries with Cajun seasoning! Oh, can you order it out? The chef here is obviously not from Louisiana. I swear nothing I’ve had has any flavor.” I say as I roll my eyes.

“I’ll see what I can do sweetheart. No lettuce or tomatoes for you, correct?” he asks with a sly grin.

“Yeah, I don’t like those, no onion either. How did you know that?” I ask a little taken aback.

“I know more about you than I do anyone else in this world.” He gives a small smirk.

“Well, that’s not fair. I don’t know anything about you.” I reply as I shove another bite in my mouth.

“My name is Max, I’m here to take care of you and make sure your baby is taken care of. That’s all you need to know about me. For now.” He lets me know that he will tell me more if I continue to be good.

I take a long drink of apple juice and decide to just be myself without letting him know that I will slit his throat the first chance I get.

“I see you prefer sausage to bacon. Orange juice to apple, and you don’t like fruit or coffee. Am I close?”Apparently not talking to anyone for so long and being good all the time has me blabbering about anything.

“Yes, but I actually do drink coffee, just not this late in the morning.”

“Do you have better coffee than what you bring me? If you knew me, you would know I prefer coffee with chicory and I like sugar. Give me more sugar for the love of all things holy, let me just have some sugar.” I rant like the spoiled brat I am.I miss sitting with my best friends every morning making breakfast and drinking our coffee. As much of it as I want! Not this one cup a day bullshit. Who in the hell can live on one cup a day?

Max can’t control his laughter. “I’ll make sure you have a nice dessert with dinner tonight, how about that?”

“I’ll take what I can get! This baby wants sugar.” I reply with a smile as I rub my belly, noticing he actually has a nice smile when it’s not forced.

“I get it now. Why Bash was so obsessed with you, I mean I have pictures of you back then, with him, and even before that. I knew you were beautiful, but you are way more than that aren’t you, sweetheart” He is still chuckling slightly when he realizes he just made a mistake and stops.

“So, you know Bash huh? What about my sister, Lottie? Did you know her?” I take another bite to hide my expression, hoping I hit a nerve, and that he buys I missed that he has stalked me since before Bash.Plus, if he knows Bash, and me, then maybe he knew Lottie.

“I knew him, yes. Don’t be coy about the fact that you killed him, it was an epic exhibition to watch. You should be proud of what you did. Lottie is not up for discussion, ever.” He finally smiles wide after laying down the law about my sister, also letting me know that he knows everything.

“Well, I guess it’s not my secret to keep anymore. So that’s why I’m here?” I finally ask the one question that the answer will tell me my fate.

“Yes, and no. I couldn’t care less about what you did to Bash, he was a disgrace, and we all knew it. They definitely picked the wrong twin with that one. Things would have been vastlydifferent if they had picked Christian from the beginning. You actually did us a favor, he was becoming sloppy and leaving too many messes to clean up. The only thing mother is pissed about is that she didn’t get to kill him herself. She was impressed with the lengths that you girls went to get the job done, even using your own mothers’ connections.”He has a devilish grin, like I’m missing something as he cocks a brow.

“Your mother? Is she by any chance the queen?” I smile, letting him know that I know things too. I think.

“You are a smart one. What do you know about the queen and what she does? Or have you not figured out who she is yet?” His eyebrows are raised as if he expects me to know the answer.

“I know she is ruthless and traffics women to the highest bidder, but not before they are trained to be the perfect pet. No, I haven’t figured out who she is yet.” I know my face is showing my annoyance.

“This is a game, sweetheart, and you need to get brushed up on who and what is controlling the board. We can talk more about that on our walk. I want to know what the one thing is, that would bring you joy, that I can actually give you right now. Besides food, what else would make you smile?” He looks like he really is trying to be a good guy.

“Music. That’s the easiest way to bring me joy, sadness, and every other emotion there is. I love music more than anything, besides books, but you’ve got that one covered obviously.” I give up something about myself as I wave my hands, pointing around the room lined with shelf upon shelf full of books.

“I’ll see what I can come up with. You get ready for the day, and I will come back to get you in thirty minutes.” He replies as he stands up. He bends down to kiss my forehead and I still, until he moves out of my bubble, and walks out of the room.

I let out the breath I was holding in and sigh as I get up from the table to go shower. I rush through the task of making myself presentable while only thinking of two things. Who the Queen is and why Max has watched me before anyone in New Orleans knew Iexisted. Or so I thought. But why? She is Max’s mother. Why would I know who she is in the grand scheme of things? I just don’t understand what I’m missing.

When I come out of the closet, Max is waiting at the table by the window looking at his phone. Thank God I get dressed in the closet. He looks up after I stand there with my eyes cast down and my hands clasped down in front of me for at least ten minutes. Bash used to make me wait like this. He was not to be disturbed when he was doing something, I had to wait until he acknowledged my existence. Same game, different player. I know how to be the perfect pet. I was trained by the ring master.

“Sweetheart, you look lovely. I love your hair down like that. It’s nice to see you putting yourself together and wearing all the clothes I picked out for you. You are looking pale though, let’s go get you some sunlight, I know it’s what you crave most.” His smile reaches his eyes and for the first time I see a bit of light in them as he extends his hand out for me to take. I also notice for the first time that he reminds me of someone, but I can’t figure out who. I take his hand, pretending to be happy to give him this small gesture. Inside, I’m screaming.

“Thank you for picking out clothes that I don’t hate. They are comfortable and most are what I would have chosen.” I’m actually being honest on that one. I just didn’t realize he was the one who chose them.

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