Page 28 of But I'm Still Standing

“Better.” She hangs her head as she tries to catch her breath.

I put my finger under her chin, forcing her to look back up at me, “why don’t we see how today goes with Rosie and the Dula, then tonight we see what you are comfortable with? I can order takeout and we can stay in our little bubble the entire night. How does that sound?”

Savvy’s smile reaches her eyes as she wraps her arms around me, “That sounds perfect.”

I’d be lying if I said I thought she was ready to have sex or deal with her demons, but Savvy has her own timeline on most things, and I will do whatever it takes to make her feel safe and whole again.

Chapter 17

Savvy

29 weeks

Cami thankfully moved all of her maternity clothes into my closet now that she doesn’t need them anymore. I plan on doing the same thing for Mia. We have already given her our stuff I’ve gotten too big for. The guys just tell us to order everything if we need it. Shopping online has become the new norm around here for all things. What’s the point of finally being free if we are still trapped? I must admit, I’d rather be stuck in my own house than anywhere else, but I miss my city. It’s December and I’m dying to see NOLA all festive with red bows and twinkling lights everywhere.

I put on leggings and my favorite NOLA sweater that I bought oversized, so I would be able to always wear it, with my knitted socks and house shoes. I already threw my hair up after our shower.

“Incoming” Sin says sweetly as he wraps his arms around me from behind, hugging my belly. I giggle when he kisses my neck, his stubble is thicker and tickles now.

“Food, you can play with my stomach while I eat.” I lean back against Sins chest as Kohl kicks away.

“Alright little man, let me get mommy food so she is less cranky. Then I’ll come back and play.” Sin jokes as he kisses my temple.

“Please tell me there is some leftover gumbo and French bread from yesterday.”

“If there isn’t I’ll run and get you some.”

“No, I can eat something else if there isn’t, no biggy.” I shake my head smiling up at my perfect Sin. The truth is I don’t want him to leave.

“I have not been able to get your cravings in the middle of the night or ice cream and pickles for breakfast. If you want anything, just say the word and I’ll go get it.” He assures me that he wants to do this.

“Can’t we just Grubhub it or whatever? Or order the groceries and make it together?” I throw out options that don’t include him leaving me here without him. I can be in the next room from him, and even that is too far from him most of the time.

“Yes, angel, if that’s what you want.” He looks surprised, but lets it go.

“Let’s go check the big kitchen.” I give Sin a small kiss and grab his hand pulling him out of our bedroom and down the hall toward the main kitchen, stopping us both in front of the library.

“We are going to take today and tonight to help get us back to each other, but tomorrow, we will deal with that. I won’t have them down there still taunting me. I want to know why. They are going to suffer, and when we get Max, he will join them. Once I go down and see them, knowing they can’t get to our baby, I’ll feel better.” I try to explain why I need to go down there. I just feel like it’s pointless until we get Max. I want them to be the pets, and I want that bitch to watch me punish her son for what he did to me. Had he never touched me, been the nice guy he started off being, I may have let him live. Guess we will never know.

Sin cups my face looking into my eyes, “Angel, you never have to explain why you need what you need to me. We will go down whenever you are ready. You and I can order whatever you want to play with, and I’ll make sure it’s all set up for you. I think you will like how we modified your web.” He smirks at me before giving me the most loving kiss. I melt under his touch, just as I always have, and know that he still loves me, even knowing all of the awfulthings I had to do, he still loves me. He breaks the kiss before I can push it.

“I love you so much. Thank you for always loving me exactly the way I need to be loved.”

“Always, angel.” He kisses the back of my hand as we enter the kitchen.

Sin always knows exactly what I need, even when I don’t know that I need it.

I’m surprised to find all of our friends including MJ in the kitchen making lunch.

Cami spots us first and can’t contain herself, “Well would you look at that! Today your auras are banging, you guys! Together y’all look like the most beautiful sunset I have ever seen! Love is in the air!” She shouts as she bounces over to Charlie giving him a sweet kiss as Morgan smiles up at them in his arms.

“Smells amazing in here, what are y’all making?” Christian asks, as he ushers me over to the counter to sit next to MJ. She is smiling from ear to ear looking at her iPad ogling a sparkly wedding dress. Sin helps me sit on the barstool and kisses my cheek before going around the counter, poring me a glass of apple juice, and setting it in front of me, with a cute smirk as he puts a straw in it.

“MJ mentioned some of the things that Savvy was craving so we thought it would be nice to make debris po boys.” Abbys smile is infectious. Everyone’s’ smile is. It’s funny that I have been home less than a week and I can already see everyone healing, including me.

“Thanks guys! That sounds so good!” I reply before I chug my apple juice.

“Thank Joe. He went and picked up the meat since we didn’t have time to roast it like we normally do.

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