Page 24 of But I'm Still Standing

“No, I want to see the girls. How are they?” Savvy tries to sit up, but winces, sitting back quickly.

“What’s wrong angel? Are you hurt?” I try to look her over, but she pulls away from me quickly, putting up her hands. Alec wanted her checked out, but MJ said to let her sleep and wouldn’t let anyone else near her.

“No, no, no, I’m fine, just tired. Belly gets in the way now.” She looks down and won’t look back up.

“Savvy,” I reach out to touch her, but she slaps my hand away.

“I’m sorry, I just want to go in our home and see our friends. I need to know this isn’t a dream.” She finally looks up as tears spill over.

“Whatever you need, angel.” I open the door and put my hand out to help Savvy out of the SUV, but she doesn’t take it, she just looks at it, backing away from the door moving herself as far away from me as she can.

She starts crying and hyperventilating, “I knew this wasn’t real, it never is. I swear I could smell you this time, I could feel you. Make it stop. I can’t do this anymore, please.” She crumbles, curling up on the seat sobbing as she hugs her belly.

“Savvy, angel, listen to the sound of my voice.” I pull her bracelet out of my pocket and hold it out to her. “Look, angel, it’s real, always and forever, remember? You’re home. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. Please let me help you.” I get in the SUV on my knees, and softly touch her arm. She jerks, startled, but doesn’t push me away. She raises her head, opening her eyes, realizing that I really am right next to her.She reaches her hand up and takes the bracelet, giving me a small smile. She looks at her arm and then back to me. She pinches it and gasps, realizing it hurts. She almost laughs, then slaps the shit out of herself. She bursts out laughing as she clutches her bracelet to her chest.

“It’s real, you haven’t disappeared yet. Your shoulder is wrapped up because I shot you!” Her eyes get big again as she points at my shoulder. “I’m home, you’re here, Kohl is safe.” Tears continue to fall, but she seems better.

“It’s real,” I give her the best smile I can, considering what she just did to herself.

“Come on, Cami is dying to introduce you to your God daughter.” I saw the light spark back in her eyes for just a second mentioning her friends, but her flame ignites hearing about Morgan Rose and her best friend.

I let her get out of the SUV on her own. She is keeping her distance from me and won’t look at me. Hopefully she will talk to her friends. I won’t push her to tell me, but I need to know what else will trigger her. I don’t want to be the cause of her fear. My heart can’t take it.

We don’t even make it to the stairs in the courtyard before the girls hit Savvy like a ton of bricks.

“Savvy!” Cami yells as she hands baby Morgan to Charlie and runs until the two collide. Mia and Abby are close behind her. She hugs them all, and I see the pain she is in with every touch. They all let the tears of joy fall as they just enjoy the moment. I let them fall knowing she is still hurting even though she is home. I didn’t get to her before they broke her.

“I’ve missed you all so much. I was so worried I was going to wake up one day and have one of you as a bunkmate. Wait, where is Jill?” Savvy stops everyone abruptly as her smile fades completely. “Where the fuck is that bitch? I’m gonna kill her!” She looks at all of us as we stop at the mention of her name, and I realize she knows.

“She is in a cell in the caves.” Joe responds first. Savvy whips her head to Joe as tears fill her eyes.

“I’m so sorry for what she did to you, to all of us. It’s your call Joe, I won’t touch her until you give the okay.” She looks him in the eyes as tears fall.

“I uh, don’t care. Do what you want with her, she was never truly mine.” Joe sighs as he looks down. I know he is hurting in the worst way possible.

“Not tonight. Tonight, I want to sit with my family and get to know our little Morgan Rose. This is what I need right now.” Savvy looks around the courtyard and stops.

“Sin, where is MJ?” she asks as her eyes go wide at the realization of something.

“She is safe with Alec, we dropped them off on the way home, she didn’t want to wake you. Said you haven’t been sleeping.” I try to explain, but she is shaking her head.

“She can’t stay with Alec, it’s against the rules, before their wedding. Saints can’t take their covenant home while she is underage; she will be tarnished in the Saints eyes. She needs to come here until the wedding.” She is practically frantic.

I take out my phone and call Alec,

“That was fast. Thought you would be enjoying your time with your wife.” Alec answers.

“Savvy is saying that MJ can’t stay with you before the wedding, is that true?”

“It’s a technicality that gets overlooked from time to time. It shouldn’t be a problem given the circumstances. The rules for MJ are different because she is a Saints orphan. Her guardian is about to be locked up and now she is my responsibility.”

“But she could be tarnished, meaning you wouldn’t be able to marry her?” I ask, not knowing what all this means. Savvy looks like she is ready to scream at Alec as she takes my phone from me.

“You bring MJ here now! If she gets tarnished, I will fucking kill you. Don’t fuck it up for her because you can’t wait a few months toget your dick wet. If you love her, you will bring her here, and let us help plan your wedding. She deserves this time to get to just be a girl for the first time in her life and you aren’t going to take it away from her!” Savvy yells at him, not letting him get a word in, then hangs up, and hands the phone back to me smiling. How does she know all this?

“They should be here within the hour. Now give me that baby.” Savvy can’t hold her excitement as she holds out her arms to Charlie as fresh tears fall down her face. We all look at each other, but Cami just rolls her eyes and takes Morgan from Charlie, kissing baby Morgans cheek as she hands her to Savvy.

“That’s better.” Cami says softly as she steps back looking at Savvy holding her beautiful daughter for the first time.

---