Page 14 of But I'm Still Standing

“Thank you for not ratting me out. Savvy said that they wouldn’t ID me if I was with you.” She smiles wide and I can see the excitement in her eyes. Savvy told her about our first date, now she is trying to recreate it. Why? I have no clue, but I’ll go along if Savvy told her all of this. I’ll play.

“That is the drink that Savvy always orders here.”

“I know, and you are going to order us gumbo with French bread, and we are going to talk and get to know each other, then we will have crème Brulé. I won’t get to see my dad getting jerked off by some slut on the stairs though. I know the whole thing. No tattoos either. Fiona and Alec would kill me.” She laughs.

“Wow, Savvy told you about everything huh?” I ask, wondering if this is part of what will help me get her back.

“She told me enough. I know she loves you and would do just about anything to get back to you. I’m glad she killed Sebastian. He wasn’t a good guy.” She reaches into her back jeans pocket and pulls out a shiny piece of paper and hands it to me. It’s an ultrasound photo. Savvy’s writing is on the back.Look what we made! He is perfect!I turn the photo over and look at the perfect silhouette of my son. He is perfect, angel, just like you. I hold it close to my chest and know they are okay. I fold it up and put it in my pocket.

“Thank you.” I say as I brush a single tear away.

“You deserve to see your son to.” She replies in an almost whisper.

“I also deserve to be with my wife.” I raise my head, meeting her eyes just as the waiter brings our drinks and I bark out our order. He shuffles off quickly after putting our drinks down on the tiny little napkins.

MJ picks up her drink with a snide smirk and takes a sip, cocks her head, looks at it with wide eyes, and takes another long sip this time.

“This really is good. Savvy said it’s the one thing she wants after giving birth.” She stops and looks at me as her eyes widen.

“I’m sorry. I know you don’t deserve my snarky comments and telling you what Savvy wants. You know better than anyone.” She finally softens and sits back in her seat.

“How is she feeling? What is she craving? Can I write her a note or something you can take her back from me?” I am asking all the questions because I want to know. I want to know everything she can tell me about my girl.

“I was only allowed to meet her last week, but we have been spending a ton of time together and even had a sleepover. She is good. I can tell she is careful around me because she isn’t sure she can trust me yet. You can give me something for her, but slip it to me later, discreetly. Like I said there are eyes on us. I can’t promise that I’ll beable to give it to her, but I will try. She wants ice cream all the time with salted caramel, chocolate fudge, topped with pecans and whipped cream. She also wants Cajun food twenty-four seven. She eats blackened alligator like it’s a major food group. She chugs apple juice like its water. She doesn’t like the coffee so we need to pick up the kind she likes while I’m here.” She says almost as a whisper as if they are close enough to hear what she says.

“We can go to the little store for her coffee. I’ll even show you her favorite creamer. I can’t imagine Savvy without her coffee. Has she killed anyone yet?” I joke.

“Almost once, but she lived, unfortunately.” She chuckles, but I know she isn’t joking.

The waiter brings us our food and I can see her excitement as she digs in, buttering her French bread before she dips it in the gumbo and takes a bite. “Oh my god this is good. I can’t believe I get to live here with all this food. I will be soon enough and then I can get this kind of stuff all the time.” She gives me a sad smile as she takes a big bite of gumbo. She reminds me of Savvy always eating her feelings. I’m trying to figure out where the little thing keeps putting all this food.

“Maybe we will get to see each other more after your move and Savvy is back.” I prod, trying to see how she reacts to seeing each other again.

“Maybe.” She looks at me like I’m stupid for even insinuating that it could happen. Not because Savvy won’t be here, but because MJ won’t be able to be. We will see about that.

Chapter 9

Max

26 Weeks

Isit across from my mother as she rambles on about how perfect Christian and Savvy seem to be, “He hasn’t laid a finger on the bait we left for him. Looks like you didn’t train the whore very well. Savvy is a perfect robot when she needs to be. Obviously, she was trained appropriately.”

“Are you listening to me? Maxwell!” My mother pulls me out of my thoughts.

“Yes, Mother, I hear you.” I reply, rolling my eyes.

“If you would quit trying to woo the little tramp and just fuck her senseless, this would be much easier. This shit didn’t work when you didn’t want to hurt Lottie either. Savvy is the perfect pet, just like we knew she would be. Bash trained her, unknowingly, for you. The bitch just has to choose you, or this is all for nothing and we all lose. Sylvia played her part perfectly, exactly how we all planned. It took longer to get rid of Bash than we expected, but that all worked out. This will too if you quit looking at her like she is a fragile doll, you don’t love this one. You loved Lottie and were able to still do your job. You want to beat Christian once and for all and prove you are the one worthy of being a Saint? This is how you do it!” She is talking to me as if I’m still the seventeen-year-old boy she taught to train his pet.

Saints have pets to get them through, until their covenant comesof age. Saints get to choose how that covenant’s life will be lived if they choose to. She is his and he is hers, blah, blah, blah. Saints can do what they want. We are the people who run the world of cocaine, with several businesses to cover where the real money is made, without anyone having a fucking clue, and the benefits are vast. You do what you are told and live a normal life outside the circle, all while they tell you what to do and how to do it most of the time. So far, I’m barely one foot in the circle, when my entire life has been given to the Saints. My mother made Sylvia sign Savannah over to her when she was born. My mother has always stated that she would willingly be my covenant. Once I show it to the Saints, she will be mine and Christian will lose. It’s the one loophole that covenants have. The ability to say no. Most are just too scared to, knowing they could be punished if they aren’t chosen.

When Lottie didn’t choose me or Bash, mother hid me away again. They have never accepted me as a Saint, truly. I’m just the trainer, just like Bash was, nothing more. Christian has always been the golden boy. Had he been brought up like the rest of us things may have been different.

“Charlotte has been dead a long time. Savannah is my covenant. You chose her at birth for me and I will give her time to fall in love with me. She isn’t like the others. She is complacent, yes, but she has a fire that I don’t want to see put out completely if I’m going to tolerate her being mine. I want to be the one who flames it. She has to want me to fuck her if it’s going to work.” I take a long drink from my bulky glass and set it on her perfect glass topped coffee table. She immediately picks it up, putting a coaster underneath it.

“She can’t fall in love with you while she is still thinking there is hope for Christian finding her. She is doing nothing more than playing the game and keeping you complacent. She was trained already, by the best. Anyway, I thought since she has been such a good girl lately that I would give her a treat. I’m letting her talk to her husband at dinner. Don’t look at me like that. He is losing his mind at this point, and your girl hasn’t done shit other than feed us informationon how crazy and miserable he is, and don’t forget about all the men we have lost. I’m giving him a break for the day. MJ is with him as we speak.” She smirks at me, the corners of her pink lips spreading wider at the look on my face.

“Why the fuck would you send her to him? I am her guardian, not you. Why does he deserve to get to know the one person who hasn’t been tainted by him or his fucking twin? He will never come around, mother! He isn’t like us. He wasn’t brought up to be a Saint!” I finish yelling at her, disgusted that she would send my perfect little girl to someone who doesn’t understand anything.

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