Page 12 of But I'm Still Standing

Baby Kohl?

Is that what Savvy has chosen for our son’s name or is this just another way for the she devil to fuck with me? I decide Savvy chose it because she loves how one of her favorite characters grew because of the love he had for the woman he loved. I had my heart set on naming him Elijah, probably for some of the same reasons, but if my angel haschosen a name through all of this, then I will honor whatever she wants.

She doesn’t want her to be upset. Maybe the stupid fucking bitch shouldn’t have taken her from her home and family.

What the hell?

I get up and head for the shower, my dick still painfully hard from dreaming of my reason for breathing. It finally registers that I’m going to get to hear her voice tonight. I have been a mess. She isn’t hurting her. That is the one thing I have to hold onto. I think of Savvy saying the name Kohl instead of the haunting voice that just told me what my son’s name will be. I refuse to let that be the first memory of hearing his name.

I turn the shower on and undress while still trying to remember everything she said. My phone vibrates on the counter and my eyes fill with tears as I look at a picture of Savvy standing next to a beautiful spotted horse as she brushes it. She is smiling at the camera. Her eyes show it’s not real. She is smiling and giving it her best shot, but I know how her eyes squint when it’s genuine. This is an appeasing smile. Her skin looks like it’s practically glowing and her tiny bump is now huge. She looks so beautiful. I can’t take my eyes off of her.

My phone vibrates again showing me at the top of the screen another photo has come in. I click back and tap the picture to make it bigger. Savvy is with a young girl who looks just like her, but much younger. Her long straight black hair makes her look more like Charlotte did when she was a teenager. They are side by side with Savvy’s arm around the girl while the girl’s hand lays on Savvy’s belly. Jesus Christ, who is she?

The background is nothing but woods behind the girls. Savvy is smiling in this picture, a genuine smile. That’s my angel. The blue sweater she wears makes her eyes pop. She has her hair down and curly with minimal makeup. I let out a breath, put my phone back on the sink, get in the shower, and lay down, letting all the shower heads hit me at once. I lay there not allowing myself to break, but soak up the pain, and bury it deep, just like I did when Lottie died. I think ofnothing but blood. The blood of whoever took her. The blood of who is keeping her. The blood of anyone who has touched her.

Nothing matters until I have her in my arms again.

I get up and finish showering, watching the blood of my victims from last night run down the drain, allowing myself to just breathe knowing she is okay. That is what I have to hold onto now.

I start getting dressed when I see my phone has another message.

Unknown: Jackson Square on the benches in front of the cathedral at seven a.m. You get to spend the day with someone important who can give you answers. Don’t be late. Come alone. Don’t make me hurt someone I have grown to care for.

It’s almost six-thirty. I head out of our balcony doors and take the stairs to the courtyard. No one is out here yet; breakfast is at eight a.m. sharp every day. The girls like the structure with the new baby and them not being able to leave the compound. They are starting to go stir crazy, and I get it. I continuously have to remind them that Savvy is in the same situation alone and they can suck it up unless they want to join her. Harsh but warranted. They usually shut up pretty quick after that and just try to keep mealtimes as scheduled so everyone eats together at least. Other than mealtimes, everyone just does their own thing. Usually on their phones. I head out to the back gate where I only stationed one guard. He is the easiest to get by just saying I’m doing my rounds, making sure everyone is alert, and not get stopped for bullshit.

I go through without a word and just eye him. He is the most alert motherfucker on the planet and says nothing but Sir. I go out and take a left towards the Cathedral. I’m sure Charlie will let everyone know I’m sleeping off a hangover after last night. They won’t notice I’m gone until noon. Even then I’m sure they will be thankful not to have to deal with my attitude.

I’m in front of the church doors just before six-forty-five. I grab the handle to the door and contemplate going in, but when Ithink about the last time I set foot in there, I let my hand fall, remembering the day I found my angel. She isn’t in there so what’s the point? I turn around and see the girl from the picture with Savvy taking a seat on the bench. She looks at me and waves me over. I take my time, taking in the tiny girl. The queen sent a child to do her dirty work.

I finally sit next to her and look straight at the cathedral, not able to look at this little girl, who looks too much like Savvy and Charlotte.

“Who are you?” I ask with venom in my tone.

“That depends. Did you knock up my mother when she was fifteen or did your brother? The details are sketchy and that’s the only question I have for you since I know you didn’t know about me.” She chuckles slightly when she is finished, I’m sure, at the look on my face.

“Pick your chin up off the floor, daddy, it’s a girl.” Her smile looks almost evil after the words fly out of her mouth.

“I don’t know what you have been told, but I would never have had sex with a fifteen-year-old. Now who the fuck are you?” I try to keep my voice steady but I’m starting to get really pissed.

“Wanna bet? If we took a paternity test right now it would show you are my father regardless. That’s how twins work. So, Sebastian was the right Deveraux. Too bad he is already dead. I never really got to know him. So, Uncle Sin, Auntie Savvy says you know where to get the best coffee and food in town. Wanna spend the day getting to know me, or would you rather go home and wallow in the fact that you still have no idea who you are dealing with. I have been given strict instructions only to let you know what the queen wants you to know. First lesson, the queen gets what she wants, the cost be damned.” This girl is acting like this is all completely normal.

I stop and think about when Lottie was about sixteen and her parents made her go to boarding school for a year after she got caught partying. We didn’t get to talk to her the whole time she was gone, and she never came home on breaks. She was different when she came back, her spark was gone. That’s when the ruthless girl whonever wanted to be held came to be. She was docile and waited for instructions on what and who to be.

I look at the girl knowing it’s true. She looks just like her mother; the difference is she still has a spark; way more than her mother ever did.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t know. How about that breakfast?” I ask her, hoping to at least find out more about Savvy. She has been spending time with her. She is my niece. I thought that I was Charlotte’s first, when she was eighteen.When she told me she was ready.

“My name is Magnolia June. You can call me MJ. I have never liked my name. Unfortunately, it’s the one thing about my upbringing that Fiona decided she would let my mom have. I chose to go by my initials when I started school at the age of four. Mark would take me sometimes and scare any of the little kids that messed with me until we convinced Fiona to let me be home schooled when I was twelve. Can we have beignets and coffee at Café Du Monde? Savvy said it’s to die for and I promised her I would have the guys take her some home.” Her bright blue eyes look into mine and I can’t tell her no. Charlotte always sang a song about a little dark-haired beauty named Magnolia June. She said she was the most beautiful little girl in the world. What were the words?

“What makes the queen think that I won’t take you and hold you hostage to get Savvy back? Or follow you back where you came from to find my girl?” I ask as I get up and head towards the river.

“What makes you think that you wouldn’t be squashed the moment you tried. I have people spread out all around us. We could take you and anyone else I saw fit. If we wanted to. This is a game, play or not, it will have the same outcome regardless.” She moves to walk past me with a snide smile. I grab her by her throat, bringing my face closer to hers, “they aren’t fast enough to save you little girl, so watch your mouth.” I let go and watch as her smile widens.

“You have a pussy grip. Savvy said you don’t have it in you to be a Dom, she’s right.” She grabs my hand and places it back around her throat standing on her tiptoes trying to get in my face, “Listen, I havehad men bigger, and much meaner than you, punish me for the things that my father and mother did since I can remember. My entire life has been this right here, so do your worst and it still won’t come close, you pansey ass bitch.” She makes her point and I back down first. This is my niece and I saw that Savvy cared for her in the picture. She is only doing what she is told. She is as much Savvy’s niece as she is mine and a victim. She needs help.

“MJ wait, I’m sorry, I didn’t realize that you were actually part of the sex ring. You know it’s not your fault. What they have done to you. There is a way out and I promise I will help you.” I try to be what Savvy would want me to be to this poor little girl too grown for her time.

“Savvy said that you would say that.” She shakes her head and smiles to herself.

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