Page 11 of But I'm Still Standing

I eat until I can’t eat anymore, and wince at the heartburn I have given myself.

“Can you get the tums from the bathroom? Tell the new chef they have my vote.” I try to relax back into the pillows but can’t get comfortable. I get up and head to the bathroom suddenly feeling the urge to pee. I almost bump into MJ with her head down looking at her cell phone.

“Shit! What are you doing up?” I guess I startled her, more than she did me.

“I have to pee.” I explain pushing past her before I piss myself.

“Oh, ok. For the next three days that is all you are allowed to do. You can get up to pee but that’s it. Dr. Cowans orders. If you need anything I’m here to get it, or make the guys go get it.”

“Who is Dr. Cowan? I ask as I come back to the bedroom and comply by laying back down with a huff.

“A new OBGYN Fiona brought in for you. He is yummy, unfortunately, also gay. She thought it would help put you at ease since she already got rid of Kiefer. When you passed out Max panicked, calling Fiona. He carried you all the way back here, to your room. I’ve never seen him show such care with a female before, other than me and Fiona. He is different with you, softer somehow.

Chapter 7

Sin

26 weeks

Itake another drink straight from the bottle of bourbon, not wanting to have to pour another glass. I’m covered in blood from my last victims, and I don’t care. I’m sitting in the library surrounded by all the books that Savvy has filled this room with, listening to the last playlist she made, My Darkness. It’s as if she knew something bad was coming and made a playlist for me. To help me get through it.

I didn’t even realize she had made another playlist until this morning when I logged into YouTube Music on the TV in the library. I’ve had it playing on repeat all day since Joe figured out it was new, and that maybe it’s her only way to communicate with us, hoping we would find it. Since we figured that out, I have been listening non-stop, hoping for hints or clues as to where she is.

She always made playlists for her moods. “Echo”, by Jason Walker fills the room, surrounding me with the warmth of something from Savvy. I let the tears fall knowing she is in more agony than I am because she has no one. I have our friends, but I can’t seem to allow myself to lean on them. I’m weak and I can’t feel anything but pain and sadness. I need to feel my angel again, to hear her voice, and hold her in my arms. To know she is safe.

I get up and walk over to Savvy’s favorite chair, I pick up the lightblue knitted blanket that she loves so much and hold it up to my nose, breathing her in.

“Love You To Death,” by Chord Overstreet fills the space and I can’t take it. I look up to the ceiling and hit my knees in front of the fireplace, clutching the blanket for dear life.

“Please bring her back to me, I’ll do anything. What do I have to do to get her back? Please!” I pray and beg God for the answers that never seem to come.

A hand is softly placed on my shoulder, “We will find her,” Charlie says softly. “Come on, you need to get cleaned up and get some sleep. Its two thirty in the morning and I just got Morgan Rose put back down for the night.”

3 days ago

“Savvy is supposed to be with me! This isn’t right!” Cami screams and cries through the pain of another contraction as Charlie and Abby try to soothe her and get her to breathe. Abby and Cami have become closer since Savvy has been gone and Jill just keeps to herself most of the time. She is refusing to go into the room while Cami is in labor. She figured out that delivering babies wasn’t her thing while she was in clinicals. She doesn’t even know if she wants kids now and that is driving Joe crazy. They have been fighting a lot lately but I’m sure it’s just due to her having to be couped up in this house. He is still pissed that she keeps postponing their wedding date. It’s like she is avoiding marrying him altogether.

“Chamomile, calm down and breathe my precious girl. Savvy is with you in spirit. Think of her and her strength, she will help you get through.” I hear Rose tell her daughter and can’t help but break a little. Cami is Savvy’s best friend, and they are more like sisters most days than best friends. It’s rare when they don’t spend all of their free time together. Rose had been spending a lot of time with Savvy as well. She told Savvy she is a natural witch and just has to look deepfor her hidden talents. I never discouraged her because it made her happy and who am I to tell her what to believe in. Rose had become another mother figure to Savvy, and I loved her for it.

“It’s almost time, she is dilated to a 10 and ready to push, help get her into the tub with Charlie.” Rose orders. I kept my head down and waited for instruction, promising I would help. I move over to Cami and help Charlie carry her to the tub, sitting her in the warm water in front of Charlie so that he can deliver their little girl. Once she is comfortable and I’m no longer needed I exit their bathroom with tears in my eyes knowing this is exactly how Savvy wants to deliver our son. I sit in their bedroom until I hear the cries of their daughter and go back down to the caves where I have three naked men hanging in the web I decided to weave like Savvy and the girls did with Bash. The guys already questioned them and got a lot of the same shit I already knew. Queen Fiona, Boudreaux, Bash, my dad, and Charlotte keep being brought up and I don’t know what to make of it. I guess I can go let my frustrations out on the assholes who work for the Queen. At least I know if I keep killing them, I will eventually get to who I’m looking for.

I crawl up between Savvy’s legs as she sleeps, spreading her thighs wide for me. I love that she always sleeps naked, ready for me to take her body any way I choose. This is her favorite way to be woken up. I delve my tongue in her tight cunt before licking her soft pussy up to her clit. She squirms, moaning my name. I feel her fingers slide into my hair gripping it as she holds my face in her pussy as she grinds into it. I slide two fingers into her making her moan as I pick up the pace.

“Sin. Please. I need you.” She pleads.

I pepper her body with soft kisses as I make my way up to her mouth. I capture her lips with mine as I slide my dick into her soaked pussy. “Fuck, angel, such a good girl, telling me what you want.” Ipraise her. I love the feeling of her hands gripping my ass pulling me in deeper. Our moans fill the room and are gone just as quickly as I wake up drenched in sweat and panting to the ringing of my phone. My eyes refuse to open due to the mounting throb in my head. I roll over trying to find it on the nightstand in the dark and answer without looking at who is calling.

“What?” My voice is dry and hoarse, I don’t even recognize it.

“Well, that’s no way to greet me when I call to give you an update about your wife and precious baby boy.” Everything registers at once and I sit up abruptly.

“I’m sorry, good fucking morning. Is that better.” The words spill out before I can stop myself.

“Not really, but I suppose I’ll let it slide this once. I know you are under a lot of pressure and are going insane wanting to know about your Savvy girl. My guys keep falling off the face of the earth. You have been a busy boy taking out your aggression. Figured it’s time I throw you a bone.” She chastises.

“I want to speak to my wife. How do I know she is still alive? You haven’t given me anything, but your bitch boys have. Queen Fiona.”

“You still haven’t figured out the most important piece of the puzzle. All the hints I knew you would get out of the idiots I have working for me and the ones that I have given you. I’m disappointed to say the least. I’ll be having dinner with Savvy again tonight. I’ll arrange a call this evening around seven. Try not to be so hateful when you answer, Savannah has been a bit hormonal, and I will not have you upsetting her, it’s not good for baby Kohl.” She spits out coldly and hangs up.

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