Page 74 of Oh, Flutz!

He holds up three fingers.

“Andhowmany medals did you win?”

He’s barely stifling a laugh even before he holds up four fingers.

“How is that even possible?”

“I tried another event at my last one. Placed in both.”

“Youtrieda new event? Like, just for the hell of it?” I ask in disbelief. “That’s it, I’m leaving. You’re insane.”

Sanjiv grins. “And that’s exactly why I became a psychiatrist.”

“In my case, it’s why I’m seeing one.”

“Agreed.”

My jaw drops.

“I’mkidding. Anyway, speaking of why you’re here, we should probably talk some more about what the plan of attack is for you.”

Why do Americans insist upon speaking in riddles? Bryan has explained a lot of common phrases to me that, even after his explanations, still make no sense, but he hasn’t managed to come up with an answer for why they’re used than“variety is the spice of life, sunshine.”Which, now that I think about it, just goes to prove my point perfectly. He’s just feeding me examples every time he opens his mouth.

Irritation sparks at the thought. Just because I like this psycho psychiatrist doesn’t mean I’ve forgotten whose fault it is I got sent to him.

Also, I hate it when he calls me sunshine.

“What were you thinking?” I ask Sanjiv.

“I think you can’t stop taking the pills outright. You’re already used to planning out your doses, right? So we’ll just alter it little by little. And eventually, between that and other things we can do, you’ll be able to sleep like a baby without having to worry about setting your house on fire in your sleep.”

“That…would be preferable, yes.”

“Is this your off week?”

I nod.

“Perfect. I’ll talk to Lee, work it out. For now just turn off your alarms, and try to minimize blue light and caffeine intake starting five hours before bed.”

Forget the no-coffee and no-phone thing. Myalarms?“How am I supposed to make sure I don’t miss practice? How am I going to get up in the morning? We have a competition next week—”

“You’ll get up when your body wants to get up.”

“But—”

“Try it before you yell at me. We’ll go from there.” Sanjiv pushes his glasses up his nose. “I’m also going to send you some notes on what to expect in terms of symptoms. It varies from person to person, but withdrawals can be pretty rough. I don’t want you freaking out. I’ll see you as soon as you come back from Germany, alright?” He pauses, eyeing me. “It’s going to be hard. I’m not gonna lie and promise it’ll be sunshine and rainbows. But this is going to make you a better, healthier athlete.ThatI can promise you. Trust me on this.”

I huff, leaning back in my chair and crossing my arms like a petulant child.Easier said than done, I want to tell him, but I just keep my mouth shut. Especially when he’s basically ruining my entire routine, which in turn means my entire life. Because without it, I feel my life spinning out of control.

I’m going to kill Bryan when I see him.

NEBELHORN TROPHY—OBERSTDORF, GERMANY

My skin is crawling.

I’m supposed to be practicing right now, but I’m too busy adjusting my sweater, tightening my ponytail. I’m practically turning into Bryan with the amount of nervous fidgeting I’m doing.

“Stop,” said fidgeter says, visibly annoyed as he grabs my hand tighter during another lap. “Why are your hands so sticky?”

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