Page 158 of Oh, Flutz!

MARISSA:What is goingon?

TAYLOR:He’s lost his mind, is what’s going on.

[Music rises into a final crescendo, and Bryan races through connecting steps before slamming his toe pick in the ice, catapulting himself into a death drop onto the other foot, sinking down into a sit spin before rising back up into a corkscrew position, right leg tucked behind the left and arms stretched high over his head as he whizzes at the speed of light. People are already on their feet.]

[Bryan exits the spin and slams his foot down, reaching in the air for his end position, the music cuts, and the audience erupts into applause and screaming that shakes the stands. Bryan collapses to the ground, dropping to his hands and knees and bursting into sobs.]

MARISSA:Wow. Just wow.

[Camera zooms in on Bryan’s enormous smile as he sits up, despite the tears. He drags his hands over his face, keeping them there in an expression of pure disbelief as the audience continues to give him a standing ovation. He’s mouthing ‘what?’ People in the stands have started chanting his name. He looks around, taking it all in.]

NAOMI:That was incredible. Just incredible—I mean, I don’t think anyone was expecting that. Everyone is just going crazy. I haven’t seen such a performance in the men’s division in a long time. Bryan’s always brought the passion, but that…I’m completely at a loss for words, guys.

TAYLOR:And that never happens.

MARISSA:There’s no question about it, he just won this thing.

TAYLOR:Oh, definitely. There’s no chance Choi’s going to beat him now. And this guarantees him a spot on the World team, too.

NAOMI:Agreed. With all those surprise quads, not to mention the sheer raw feeling—I think we can absolutely say Bryan Young has just won himself his first solo senior national championship.

[The audience has yet to stop applauding. The camera pans to a familiar blonde, who’s jumping up and down, cheering wildly from the edge of the ice, letting out a cab whistle that nearly fries the microphone. The cameraman jerks the mic away from her, but she’s clearly still yelling at the top of her lungs.

Pan back to Bryan, who gets to his feet, still grinning, then bows, and the audience erupts into yet another fresh wave of cheers. He straightens, laughing, then waves, mouthing ‘thank you;” then starts exiting the ice, stuffed animals coming down in a torrent after him.]

NAOMI:Oh, and Taylor? I think he pulled it off.

Epilogue

BRYAN

“Oh my god ohmy god oh mygod!”Katya screams, rushing to meet me with a bone-crushing hug.

She’s still in her free skate costume, and she’s got her gold medal, which tells me she must’ve ran straight from the ceremony to watch me. Because ofcourseshe won her division. Was it even a possibility that she wouldn’t?

“Beat their asses,” I’d made her promise before she went on, and she did. She gave them hell, and looked extremely pretty doing it. The fact that she came straight here makes me feel all warm and fuzzy, even as I’m still trying to figure out if any of that was real. If I really did that.

“I don’t know what just happened,” I tell her truthfully, grinning now despite the fact that there’s still tears in my eyes, and she’s still totally hysterical, but she grabs my face.

“Youjust happened,” Katya says, a huge smile on her face. “You did it. You were incredible, Yasha, you should be so proud of yourself.”

She’s not telling me thatshe’sproud of me. Not because she isn’t—I know absolutely that she is, and not just because she still hasn’t stopped bouncing like a giddy little jumping bean—but because she wants me to be proud of myself. And I love her all the more for it.

“I am,” I tell her. And for once, I’m not lying. I really, really am.

If you’d asked me this time two years if I thought I’d ever be able to skate like this again, like I just did out there, I would’ve laughed. Then I probably would’ve cried. Because…really, I didn’t think I ever would. Or that I evencould.

I’ve always known on some level that, until recently, I wasn’t skating because I wanted to. When Katya said it to get a rise out of me ages ago, she was right. Even if I shoved the knowledge down deep enough that I could ignore it, it was still there. And it blocked me. I was preventing myself from being my best, because I was doing a thing that I loved, but not because I loved it. And that really sucks. Looking back on it, it’s no wonder I was miserable, though I tried so damn hard to hide it. But now? Naomi’s right. I think I have the joy back.

And, okay, maybe it’s a little bit cliché to say that Katya’s the reason. So I’ll just say she’s the one that gave me the courage. If it hadn’t been for her pushing me, bullying me into pushing myself, I don’t think I would be here right now. And I don’t think she would be, either. We’re better now because of each other. On the ice and off.

We aren’t skating together anymore. Which I still haven’t gotten used to saying, because it doesn’t feel that way; considering we still see each other every day, still train together, still skate on the same ice. At least once a week we’ll go and practice some lifts or twists just for the hell of it, and when I go home, Katya’s usually on the couch ready to put on whatever show we’ve been binging, even though technically she should be over at her and Nina and Juliet’s place. She likes to pretend it’s because Nins’ neat freakiness drives her crazy, and not because she misses me. I know her excuse is BS because Katya would give Marie Kondo a run for her money.

But that’s how it’s going right now. We focus on our solo careers, and we live our lives, and try not to drive each other too crazy, although there’s nothing prettier than Katya when her face is all red and she’s about two seconds from hitting me—speaking of which, I’m starting Russian lessons, so I can at least understand what she’s saying when she’s cussing me out.

And it’s all going…pretty well.Reallywell. Katya’s been killing it the last few months, shredding all the records, and is currently the top contender for gold at Worlds in March. I haven’t done much on the ice because of my injury, but home is better, partially because I actually started talking to someone and unpacking all of it. Mom’s still mostly MIA, but she sends a check every month like clockwork, and calls fairly often. I talk to her as much as either of us can handle. We’re both trying.

The State of New York officially granted me custody of my sister a few weeks ago. Even though I’m flying all over the world for competitions, the court could see that a few hectic months was better than living in another country entirely. Plus, I think the judge took one look at the stank-eye all our friends were giving and knew he’d be in for it if he tried taking my little sister away from me. We all went down to Moby’s, and Deanna shut down the place so we could have a party. She made red velvet cake, and Alexandra hugged me so tight I couldn’t breathe. She only said thank you once. She didn’t need to say it again.

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