Page 149 of Oh, Flutz!

Oh, god.The old nausea is swinging with full force. It’s back to the days of sitting here in the kiss-and-cry, anxiously waiting for what feels like an eternity for a bunch of old people to put out a couple of numbers that genuinely have the power to make or break your career. It makes you want to scream at the poor technician that has to run the numbers and make sure all the calculations are right. Like, how long does it take to punch some buttons?

Part of me almost doesn’t want to get the scores back. Because, for once, there’s a chance that it might be something just as incredible as we think it is. And that’s absolutely terrifying. Because it also means that there’s a lot of room for a letdown.

Especially because of that stumble.Jesus. Of all the stupid things. Of all the days I could have done all the stupid things on, it had to be today? I swear to god, if we get knocked back down to second because I tripped over my damn toe pick like a total idiot, I’m going to lose my mind.

I’m also going to lose my mind if we have to wait any longer. “Why the hell is this taking so long,” I hiss, bouncing my leg uncontrollably.

Katya puts her free hand on my thigh to get me to stop.Breathe, she mouths, even though I know she’s probably just as scared as I am. That alone brings me a wave of relief. Katya’s here. I’m here. We’re going to be fine.

“Uh, apologies for the interruption, but the technical panel is having some difficulties—”

The announcement is cut off by the collective groan of thousands of people.

“You’ve got to be kidding,” I say, dropping my head in my hands, shaking it miserably.

But then Katya starts laughing.

I squint at her to make sure I’m not in some kind of stress-induced fever dream. “Are you in hysterics or something?”

“No—I just—” She dissolves into giggles again, hiccupping once before leaning into my shoulder, putting a hand on my cheek to turn me towards her, until all I can see is silver and gold and that little smile of hers that I think I’d kill for. “It doesn’t matter. It really doesn’t matter.”

The nerves melt away, the fear quieting. Because I know she’s right. No matter what the scores say, we just did something that—well, I can’t exactly describe it. There aren’t really any words for when you finally achieve the thing you’ve been wanting for so long, only it wasn’t the thing you thought you wanted.

Like you got the thing you didn’t know you needed. Like you could almost be whole.

I smile back. “Yeah.”

“It seems the system is back up, thank you for your patience,” the announcer says, the relief evident in his voice, and I’d laugh if I wasn’t immediately seized with hyperfocus. The only thing I can see right now is the empty box where the numbers are milliseconds away from popping up into. All I can hear is my pounding heartbeat. All I can feel is Katya’s hand in mine.

I might go into cardiac arrest before I found out if we’ve actually won or not.

“The scores for Andreyeva and Young are. For the free program:”

The numbers pop into the box.

I can hear the screaming before I’ve even processed the value.

“One hundred and seventy-three point five-four points, with an overall score of—” yells out the announcer, almost incomprehensible over the amount of noise from the crowd.

Oh. My. God.

“—256.33 points!”

“Oh mygod,” I yell at the top of my lungs, and Katya just shrieks, jumping onto me, and I immediately scoop her up into my arms, swinging her around with no regard for Lian or Juliet, who let out protests as we both nearly crash into them.

“With a new world record for the pairs free program and total score, your National Champions, Ekaterina Andreyeva and Bryan Young!”

The audience bursts into a fresh wave of yelling and applause, and I’m dizzy.

We did it. We actually did it.

“This is insane,” Katya says, over and over, and I plant a kiss on her forehead, grinning uncontrollably.

“We just set a world fucking record, sunshine.”

“Language, Bryan,” Lee scolds, but she’s smiling too.

I put Katya down, then pull our coaches into a bear hug that almost knocks Juliet off the bench.

---