Page 27 of This Christmas

Back in the store, I put a Whitaker’s General Store smock on and start cleaning and straightening the shelves. Way back in the day, this was my job and while I used to hate it, I was good at it.

Dad and I went to Evergreen’s for lunch, and got our food to go. We stand at our counter, eat, and talk about the weather, and help customers when they come in. By early evening, the store is quiet, and Jake has gone home after another successful day of selling.

The door opens and high heels clank against the old tile floor. Caryn walks around the corner in her stiletto boots, skirt, and fur coat. I’m thankful my dad is in the back. He hasn’t brought her up once today.

“Hey, babe,” she says as soon as she sees me but stops walking. “What on earth are you wearing?”

I look down at my smock. It used to be dark blue but has faded over the years. “Keeps my clothes clean.”

“From what?”

“From the dust. I cleaned today.”

“Why?” Her nose scrunches in disgust.

“Because that’s what you do in a store.”

“Oh, well. Go back to the Inn and shower. We have dinner plans.”

“Where are we going?”

“Albany. I spoke to Serena earlier. She’s on the train, heading in. There’s a W there. We’re going to meet her for drinks. I figured wemight as well move our stuff there anyway, especially since she’ll be there for a week.”

No, no, no.

I look “I don’t want to leave my dad, Caryn. He’s the whole reason we came to town.”

“But I’m bored and there’s nothing to do here.”

“You knew this before you even agreed to come.”

“Yes, and now I’ve been here, I want to leave.”

I take a deep breath and take her hand in mine. “I love you, babe. You go to Albany, do whatever with Serena. But please be back on Friday. My dad is getting this huge honor, and I’d really like for you to be there.”

Caryn pouts for the briefest of seconds. “Okay, love you.” She says and then she’s out the door without even a kiss goodbye.

I stand there until my dad’s voice sounds. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah,” I say with a hint of a sigh. “Just thought I could mix my current life with my old one.”

“Not going so well?”

“Not even close.”

ELEVEN

EVANGELINE

It has been a few days since I’ve seen Zane. Honestly, the reprieve has been sort of nice. I know he’s around town because Noelle has told me she’s run into him at the Evergreen Café and even at Alma’s Bakery in the morning getting breakfast. Noelle has also informed me that Caryn has not been around, and it makes me wonder why. Did she leave? Is Zane about to leave his dad brokenhearted again? Mr. Whitaker is really the only person who matters in this equation. Although, I have to admit that once Zane ends up leaving, I’ll be sad and wish things could have been different between us, but those days are long gone. He’s moved on and I’m determined to do the same right after the beginning of the year. There is no point in trying to look for romance in December since I am so busy.

At least that’s what I'm telling myself.

Losing Zane was one of the hardest things I’ve everbeen through. There was a time, right after I accepted that he wasn’t coming back, when I thought I was having a heart attack. I’d never felt suffocated in my life until those moments. The hyperventilating cries were enough to scare my friends into calling for an ambulance. Most days my chest hurt. I would walk around in pain. It was as if someone had stabbed me in the heart.

Someone had.

My grades suffered. All my hard work circled down the drain. Slowly, I pulled myself out of the funk. While I didn’t cry at the drop of a hat, when I was alone at night, I did. My life as I knew it would never be the same.

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