Page 94 of Break my Heart

Hayes’s reaction is almost comical.

His eyes widen to the point of looking like they might fall out of his head before he pulls out of my body, then wraps the condom in tissue and throws it in the trash can near his desk.

Only then does he haul me into his arms.

“Tell me what I did, and I swear I’ll never do it again.” He rains soft kisses against the crown of my head. “Jeez, Ava. Tell me. Your tears are fucking killing me.”

Even though I’m overflowing with emotion, I’m not sure how to put any of it into words. At least not ones that will make sense.

It continues to come out in a torrent of sobs.

“I-I’m sorry,” I say when I’m finally able to speak.

“Baby, you don’t have anything to be sorry about. I just want you to tell me what I did to cause this kind of reaction.”

“You didn’t do anything.” I pause and rethink that statement. “Actually, you did everything.”

“Fuck,” he groans. “I knew it.”

I chuckle weakly. “That’s not what I meant.”

Most guys would be jumping out of bed and gathering up their clothing to escape the awkwardness of this situation—especially being the first time we slept together. It would be the last time I saw them before they ghosted me.

What they wouldn’t do is attempt to get to the bottom of what’s going on.

At every turn, Hayes manages to surprise me.

“Ava, please. Would you just spit it out? I’m dying over here.”

I draw in an unsteady breath, holding it captive in my lungs before gradually releasing it back into the atmosphere. It’s important to take the time to gather my thoughts in order to explain them properly.

This man, above everyone, deserves the truth.

“Nathan was my first relationship?—”

“It wasn’t a relationship,” he interrupts with a frown. “It was an abuse of power.”

Everything inside me wilts. “I know.”

It’s taken a long time for me to come to terms with that knowledge. For whatever reason, it was easier to accept that I was eighteen years old and made the choice to get involved with my coach as a mature adult. I didn’t want to believe that someone I loved and trusted took advantage of and manipulated me into doing something I didn’t want.

It’s a bitter pill to swallow.

“Whatever you want to call it, he was the only one I’d been with long term. There were a few guys after…” My voice trails off as I jerk my shoulders. “They made me feel bad for wanting certain things. And I began to wonder if I was normal. Especially when I couldn’t get off from just regular sex.”

His mouth drifts across my forehead. “You know that’s not true. No one should have made you feel that way because you’re more adventurous in the bedroom. I fucking love it.”

My lips lift into a slight smile as I meet his earnest gaze. “I get that now.”

He tugs me closer, wrapping me up in his arms. They have the rare ability to make me feel protected and safe. “I like every damn thing about you.”

That admittance is all it takes for the tension swirling through my body to dissipate, leaving behind something I’ve spent the last year searching for.

Contentment.

We fall into a comfortable silence as my fingertips drift across his chest before I still. “So… are you going to tell me about what I walked in on earlier?”

When he releases a deep breath, I wonder if he’ll bother with a response.

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