Page 36 of Punish Me

“That fucker!” I bark, causing a few people to look my way. “Sorry.”

He purses his lips and looks out the window again.

“So, what did you do?”

“I swallowed my pride and kept moving. We separated for a while but then decided to reconcile after six months.”

“God! I’m sorry that happened to you,” I say, pushing the tears back.

“It happened to us, Bryn. I was supposed to trust you when I couldn’t trust no one else. I was so fucking angry that you didn’t want to tell your brother the truth about us. So, when I found out the truth, I couldn’t come back to you after all that time. If you didn’t stand by me before the trouble, I didn’t expect you to return to me after the trouble.”

“I just wish that you’d have told me anyway.”

“Would you have believed me?”

“Yes.”

“If I had divorced her, would you have come back to me? Would you have stuck by my side and faced your brother? Your family?”

Disappointment flows through me, and I shake my head. “No. I wasn’t strong enough or mature enough back then. I would have failed you.”

He laughs derisively.

“The road you take to avoid something is usually the road that leads you directly to it. I chose not to talk about that night so I wouldn’t lose you, and I lost you anyway.”

When his gaze swings back to me, I see it’s full of pain and regret.

“I failed you, Ro. I’m sorry, but I’m here now.”

We sit in silence, nursing our drinks, both lost in our thoughts, for quite a while before the server comes and asks if we’d like a private table on the restaurant side of the bar that we’re at Palm 51. Ambrose seems pleasantly surprised when I agree.

We ordered bruschetta and an antipasto platter. When it comes, we barely touch our food. However, we enjoy a bottle of wine that we have no problem polishing off.

“After losing you and having everyone I thought I could trust turn against me, I had nothing. It was a fast lesson that you could have millions, be surrounded by thousands of adoring fans and people screaming your name, and still be alone. It was a hard lesson but a damn good one.”

“Did you sink into depression?”

“Couldn’t. Ball kept me busy, practicing, playing, and watching tapes, and then there were the photo shoots and commercials. Then there was Cee-Cee. She always kept me from spiraling, but were there sad nights? Hell yeah. Lonely ones? Definitely.”

“How’d you end up marrying her?”

“After my daughter was born, I knew I wanted to be a part of her life. I didn’t want to co-parent and only see her sometimes. I wanted to be a permanent fixture in her life. With my parents pressuring me on one end and Lyndsey on the other, I did what everyone expected. I didn’t give a damn about what I wanted anymore, just that little girl.”

“You stuck with her after learning about that massive lie and violation. Why’d you divorce?”

Sighing, he shoves his fork into the salami, cheese, and olives on the antipasto platter before inspecting it closely.

Laughing, I ask, “You gonna eat it or investigate it for homicide?”

He smirks and pops it into his mouth. I figure it’s a stalling mechanism to not talk about the divorce, so I pour myself another glass of wine.

“Tired of the cheating. I tried overlooking what she’d done, and for a while, I did. We were cordial, and I began to believe we could work past the betrayal and the manipulation. It did nothing for our sex lives, though. I wouldn’t touch her and wouldn’t let her touch me. By the sixth year, she grew restless and cheated with another agent at a conference.

“We got counseling and stuck together. Eighth year, she got caught cheating again when I returned from our road games earlier because of my injury. I couldn’t get in touch with her, and when I returned home, I found out why.

“That time, it was with the owner of our team. I moved out briefly but came back. After that, she kept doing it until I got tired and said enough was enough. It was players, it was neighbors, it was friends’ spouses. She didn’t give a damn. I never moved back in, but I did finally serve her with the papers.”

“Why’d it take you so long?”

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