Page 72 of Flawless

I tell Dani about how I sent Zee Zee and Uxia back to the car, and only then did I find the man and beat his ass.

“I had no idea, Z. Now here I come reintroducing all this back into your life.”

“Hey,” I say, grabbing her hands. “This is the life that we chose. You chose it when you went into the modeling world, and I chose it when I became a professional athlete. Our families and loved ones didn’t choose it. It’s our responsibility to protect them. Sometimes, we fail at that, but not for lack of trying. I sawhow you covered my daughter’s body when the guy came at you two when you were in the car. I couldn’t ask for more.”

“I felt so horrible. She didn’t deserve that. Zee Zee’s such a sweet kid.”

“And a strong one,” I say. “She’s fine. But are you?”

19 – DANICA

I think about his question. Then I think about how when I thought he was angry with me, I wanted to find a bottle of alcohol when we arrived back at the cottage. I think about how tempted I was to take my keys and drive until I found a liquor store.

I glance at my hands and notice that they’re no longer trembling like they were before.

“I don’t know, Zenon,” I answer honestly. “There was a moment where I was tempted to find a bottle of alcohol. A moment when I needed something to ease the pain because I thought that you were angry with me. I let you down, and I wasn’t sure how to handle that.”

“What did you do?” he asks.

“I walked around to the front of the cottage and took the trail leading back to the shops. I walked past several storefronts before I turned around and came back this way. But that happened only after I stopped at one store with tinted windows and saw myself. I saw the familiar desperation in my eyes, the yearning for something, anything to take the edge off, and then I saw how uncomfortable I was with my own thoughts, uncomfortable with myself.”

“And yet, you still turned around and came back. You didn’t keep looking for anything.”

“But what if I hadn’t seen myself? I’ve been down this road before.”

“No what-ifs, Dani. There’s only what is. You went down that road, but you turned back once before. That’s the only thing that you need to concern yourself with is the reality of what you are choosing to do. I told you that I’m here for you. You came back. You returned to me and waited for me. That’s all I can ask of you. That’s all anyone can ask of you. You reached out for help. You’re making progress already, sweetheart.”

Tears prick my eyes as I look into his.

“I shouldn’t be starting a relationship.”

“I thought you said that we were just friends.”

Smirking, I shove him in the shoulder and shake my head. I wipe the tears on my face and lick away the teardrops near the corners of my mouth.

“You know what I mean.”

“No, I don’t, Dani. What are we doing, meu bem?”

Smiling, I say, “I haven’t heard you call me your darling in such a long time.”

A smile lifts the corners of his lips.

“You never stopped being that to me. Now, stop avoiding the question. No pressure. It’s whatever you want, but I need to know what you want.”

I reach out and toy with the onyx ring on his right pinky finger. Twisting it in alternating directions, I calm my breathing and ease my troubled mind.

“I want you, Z. I want you to give us another chance. I want you to be patient with me. But most of all, I want you to teach me how to love...selflessly, I mean,” I say after a few beats.

Zenon reaches a hand up and cups the side of my face.

“Then that’s what you shall receive, meu docinho,” he says.

“My sweet,” I repeat, turning my head sideways to kiss his palm.

“One day at a time. We’ll do this together but it’s one day at a time, understood?”

“Yes,” I say softly.

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